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Post by Dani on Apr 16, 2022 18:30:31 GMT -5
I am glad this thread has been brought to the top again. It's an interesting topic
And yes, over the years, I've also interacted with pretenders or people suffering from BIID. I have no problem with this in general but I need full disclosure and transparency. This didn't always happen and sometimes defeats the purpose, because the pretenders and BIID sufferers want to be seen as disabled. It was very traumatizing to be led on though and has made me a skeptical person and keeps me from opening up too quickly.
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Post by Dani on Apr 16, 2022 18:47:08 GMT -5
I was having a conversation with a PWD friend lately and stumbled across a metaphor that might help explain one aspect of the dev experience. With his permission, I'm adapting it into a thread. I don't see PWD as sexual objects or things, but as people to whom I am naturally very attracted (physically and otherwise). It definitely requires we meet one another halfway and with a healthy dose of self-awareness. But I am saying that I appreciate the ability to connect with others through this forum, and that's why I think it is such a unique and necessary place. The dev experience does not need to be like this if we have healthy avenues for expression! I've never seen PWD as sexual objects either, not even in my most horny times I am just very interested in them as the people they are and how they live their lives. If I am also physically attracted then it's a plus but it goes back that just because someone is disabled does not mean that I will be attracted to them in a sexual way. All the boxes still need to be checked. But even if I am not physically aka sexually attracted to them, I am still very interested to connect as friends to create a bridge between devs and PWD. And over the years when we've discussed this, it always showed that being a dev means something different to every woman/man. There is no blanket statement that can be made about what kind of person is a dev or what kind of dev a person is. The only thing I can come up with is that devs look at a disabled person differently than the general population. How they view their attraction to a PWD is still individual to each dev. I do think it's super important to connect with each other, devs and PWD because it is the only way to learn about each other. It takes an open mind and as Ayla mentions above, a healthy dose of self-awareness for sure.
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Post by infinatedreams on Apr 17, 2022 9:05:37 GMT -5
I was having a conversation with a PWD friend lately and stumbled across a metaphor that might help explain one aspect of the dev experience. With his permission, I'm adapting it into a thread. I don't see PWD as sexual objects or things, but as people to whom I am naturally very attracted (physically and otherwise). It definitely requires we meet one another halfway and with a healthy dose of self-awareness. But I am saying that I appreciate the ability to connect with others through this forum, and that's why I think it is such a unique and necessary place. The dev experience does not need to be like this if we have healthy avenues for expression! I've never seen PWD as sexual objects either, not even in my most horny times Meh ... how dissapointing, a little bit of sexual objectification from time to time is good for the tyre pressure 😋
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Post by rebel6842 on Apr 18, 2022 21:00:03 GMT -5
I'm going to take another angle-I've had discussions in the past as to WHY PWD's/Devs don't interact, and the closest metaphor I can conjure is the "opposite sides of the gym" We know you're there-you know we're there, but folks are SCARED to reach out (mostly) Why-who knows?-but it would be much easier if more folks did...
That being said, just being PWD/Dev may get you through the door-but it's up to you to (to your comfort level) close the deal...
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