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Post by E on Feb 26, 2009 8:34:25 GMT -5
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Post by Triassic on Feb 26, 2009 10:21:28 GMT -5
gets what? laid? ;0
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Post by BA on Feb 26, 2009 11:51:19 GMT -5
Wonder why that link suddenly failed?
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Post by E on Feb 26, 2009 11:55:02 GMT -5
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Post by BA on Feb 26, 2009 12:04:33 GMT -5
If this very intelligent guy who hosts the blog you posted above has indeed joined our site, I would love to hear his perspective on this whole issue. The picture of him with his girlfriend, posted back earlier in the thread was actually quite beautiful, as well as disconcerting, for his disability is so very severe. I do not think he is in any way "amazing", "heroic" or any other such bunk because he does "all this" with such a severe disability. I think this is a guy who is just one of those rare people who live in a state of balance that I don't think I could ever attain. It wouldn't matter if he were able-bodied or not. This is just how he is. I envy him.
Triassic: You ask, "Does he get laid?". Probably he does. Apparently WHO he is overides HOW he is.
Maybe the even more important question is, does he get laid AND loved simultaneously?
That's his business, but I'll wager a yes answer.
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Post by Triassic on Feb 26, 2009 15:24:31 GMT -5
the visual theme of his site is really, really beautiful and arresting; those violet-stars, are they? against a deep black background...
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Post by BA on Feb 26, 2009 15:48:48 GMT -5
the visual theme of his site is really, really beautiful and arresting; those violet-stars, are they? against a deep black background... Just looked at it again. I think they are flowers. Do I sense a slight sarcasm in that post Tri? If no, then sorry - my bad. If yes, then why?
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Post by lithiumcreations on Feb 26, 2009 16:30:41 GMT -5
Well, I think government funded sex is a condescending and short-sighted fix for a larger problem. We need equal access to a full life.
I wrote on my blog:
"I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone.
People with disabilities need access to assistive technology, to personal assistants, to careers, to independence. Given these things, a person with disabilities has the chance to get out and lead a decent life, as much as anyone. If a person has these chances and still wants to hire a prostitute, fine. At least they're no different than any senator or CEO."
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Post by lithiumcreations on Feb 26, 2009 16:40:22 GMT -5
the visual theme of his site is really, really beautiful and arresting; those violet-stars, are they? against a deep black background... Honestly, it's the least ugly WordPress theme I could find.
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Post by Enid on Feb 26, 2009 16:47:32 GMT -5
"I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone. You do know that this isn't "a disability mesageboard", right? At least I wouldn't classify it as such; this group is about attraction to disability, not about disability itself. We do have our share of disabled members, and some might even fall into the stereotype you mention, but those are quickly informed that we're not here to solve their problems and don't last long.
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Post by stephen on Feb 26, 2009 17:36:54 GMT -5
Well, I think government funded sex is a condescending and short-sighted fix for a larger problem. We need equal access to a full life. I wrote on my blog: "I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone. I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but I think it is more difficult for an injured person to socialy adapt than it is for a person who is born will a disability. I know this sounds unfair, but if a person is born disabled then their disability has to feel "natural" in some sense. I remember everything I did and everything that I could feel before my injury, and those memories really haunt me. In one way I guess that I should be happy about the years that I wasn't injured...however, being aware of what has been taken from me makes it very hard to sleep at night. Has an ability ever been taken from you? How would your attitude be if someone or somethig took your ability to ever write a single word again?
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Post by lithiumcreations on Feb 26, 2009 18:36:46 GMT -5
Well, I think government funded sex is a condescending and short-sighted fix for a larger problem. We need equal access to a full life. I wrote on my blog: "I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone. I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but I think it is more difficult for an injured person to socialy adapt than it is for a person who is born will a disability. I know this sounds unfair, but if a person is born disabled then their disability has to feel "natural" in some sense. I remember everything I did and everything that I could feel before my injury, and those memories really haunt me. In one way I guess that I should be happy about the years that I wasn't injured...however, being aware of what has been taken from me makes it very hard to sleep at night. Has an ability ever been taken from you? How would your attitude be if someone or somethig took your ability to ever write a single word again? I understand what you're saying. I lost the ability to speak two years ago, lost it in a blink. That was a really difficult loss, but ultimately, all I can do is accept it. No matter the disability, you have to accept and adapt, or die.
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Post by lithiumcreations on Feb 26, 2009 18:43:44 GMT -5
"I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone. You do know that this isn't "a disability mesageboard", right? At least I wouldn't classify it as such; this group is about attraction to disability, not about disability itself. We do have our share of disabled members, and some might even fall into the stereotype you mention, but those are quickly informed that we're not here to solve their problems and don't last long. It's all related.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Feb 26, 2009 19:01:13 GMT -5
The government? lol The government cries anytime someone needs a busted wheelchair fixed. I can't imagine what they'd do OR require in paperwork for prior approval if someone wanted to get laid. Although, if your wheelchair is busted and you're stuck in bed all day, they might as well make the time productive (or reproductive ;D ) Here's a GREAT question: What if the person wanted government funding for a gay partner? hahahahaha I'd love to watch the bigots scream about that one. No way should the government be involved with something like this. They screw us enough already.
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Post by matisse on Feb 27, 2009 0:07:44 GMT -5
Well, I think government funded sex is a condescending and short-sighted fix for a larger problem. We need equal access to a full life. I wrote on my blog: "I hate disability message boards, especially ones about dating and sex. People say, "oh, I'm disabled, no one will go out with me." People say, "I'm hideous and I'll never have sex." I hate reading these things. I say, you're not dating because you don't have proper access to the world. I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone. People with disabilities need access to assistive technology, to personal assistants, to careers, to independence. Given these things, a person with disabilities has the chance to get out and lead a decent life, as much as anyone. If a person has these chances and still wants to hire a prostitute, fine. At least they're no different than any senator or CEO." I saw this, and the rest of what you wrote on your blog. I think you're being a bit naive. Your position reminds me of the "you can be whatever you want to be" type of attitude. It's just not true. Just as we can never achieve many things (like being a tennis pro) because we use a chair, some folks simply cannot attain the position in their life or feelings that you believe would get them where they would like to be. And it's not necessarily their fault. Just because you can do it, doesn't mean others can.
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