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Post by Triassic on Feb 27, 2009 3:42:49 GMT -5
i have to side w/matisse on this one. maximum accessibility IS great, and necessary as if full inclusion when at all possible...but i think that some disabled folks focus so much on access, like; 'if i could only just GET...IN...THERE!, then i'll be able to do it ALL' that they forget that basic access is just one part of the mix.
watch AB's sometime; they MOVE. they're always up to something, zipping around from here to there, being spontaneous, etc...so yeah, you can get into a club maybe or whatever; you're hanging out w/some folks you met, an hour goes by, they decide to switch venues to the other side of town. gonna pile into 2 cars and coordinate enroute by cellphone. think you're going along? um, nope. but 'byee! it was REALLY NICE meeting you! mwah!'.
ah, i don't mean to be negative, but i've been down this road. the AB world moves along at a pretty good clip. it can be exhausting to try to keep is all i'm saying...
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Post by Triassic on Feb 27, 2009 3:47:21 GMT -5
but as for this sex service; yes, it would NEVER FLY here in america, where we can barely bring ourselves to teach basic sex ed unless it's 'NO, DON'T DO IT'
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Post by genuinejoe76 on Feb 27, 2009 9:52:39 GMT -5
i have to side w/matisse on this one. maximum accessibility IS great, and necessary as if full inclusion when at all possible...but i think that some disabled folks focus so much on access, like; 'if i could only just GET...IN...THERE!, then i'll be able to do it ALL' that they forget that basic access is just one part of the mix. watch AB's sometime; they MOVE. they're always up to something, zipping around from here to there, being spontaneous, etc...so yeah, you can get into a club maybe or whatever; you're hanging out w/some folks you met, an hour goes by, they decide to switch venues to the other side of town. gonna pile into 2 cars and coordinate enroute by cellphone. think you're going along? um, nope. but 'byee! it was REALLY NICE meeting you! mwah!'. ah, i don't mean to be negative, but i've been down this road. the AB world moves along at a pretty good clip. it can be exhausting to try to keep is all i'm saying... High 5!
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Post by matisse on Feb 27, 2009 12:16:19 GMT -5
watch AB's sometime; they MOVE. they're always up to something, zipping around from here to there, being spontaneous, etc...so yeah, you can get into a club maybe or whatever; you're hanging out w/some folks you met, an hour goes by, they decide to switch venues to the other side of town. gonna pile into 2 cars and coordinate enroute by cellphone. think you're going along? um, nope. but 'byee! it was REALLY NICE meeting you! mwah!' Yet another reason to do your partying in Vegas!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by faith on Feb 27, 2009 15:47:23 GMT -5
Lithium- When this website began it was a place for devs to come to better understand themselves, their attraction and share feelings with other devs. It was, and still is, a place where we can come and reveal a side of ourselves that we don't often allow others see. By admitting our devness to ourselves and to others - and to learn from one another- we become more confident, more comfortable.
Although you said "it's all related" this site did not begin, nor is now, a "dating" website.
In your blog you wrote, "I say, you're not having sex because your attitude is garbage, have a little confidence. Learned helplessness and low self-esteem are not attractive on anyone."
So help me understand something... You come across as a confident guy- comfortable with yourself. You encourage others to be comfortable/confident with themselves.
If this site helps some of us become more comfortable and more confident in that part of us that is "different" than the norm, isn't it a good thing?
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Post by Chan on Feb 27, 2009 17:46:18 GMT -5
Lithium- When this website began it was a place for devs to come to better understand themselves, their attraction and share feelings with other devs. I disagree. When this site first began it was full of guys with fetishes for either male wheelchair users or ones that liked to pretend they were dis ladies. Only later did all the fem-power infiltrate and make the site into the sort of emotional confession board it is today. Just take a look at the manipulated "celebrity pictures." This was a straight-up fetish site.
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Post by faith on Feb 27, 2009 18:02:32 GMT -5
Chan- LOL... I had no idea. Learn something everyday!
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Post by Pony on Feb 27, 2009 19:34:53 GMT -5
I'm just happy the 'fem power' around here let's us chairdudes hang out. I know we can be distracting, at times, and maybe we don't offer much to the emotionalism of being a Dev, but it might get boring without our dysfunctional rants. Besides, I think we actually learn from each other. I think I've learned a lot in my time here.
Now gimmie some of that state-funded sex from a petite brunette who can patronize with the best of em!!! lol KIDDING...NO HATE MAIL.
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Post by E on Feb 27, 2009 20:27:54 GMT -5
so yeah, you can get into a club maybe or whatever; you're hanging out w/some folks you met, an hour goes by, they decide to switch venues to the other side of town. gonna pile into 2 cars and coordinate enroute by cellphone. think you're going along? I missed something. ... why wouldn't I?
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Post by matisse on Feb 27, 2009 21:06:15 GMT -5
so yeah, you can get into a club maybe or whatever; you're hanging out w/some folks you met, an hour goes by, they decide to switch venues to the other side of town. gonna pile into 2 cars and coordinate enroute by cellphone. think you're going along? I missed something. ... why wouldn't I? Ummmm, because you wouldn't have your chair with you? Seriously? I can see a manual chair user going anywhere, but not if you really need a power chair. Call me a control freak but I would not go anywhere without my chair. I would be stranded where ever they put me down and how would I go to the bathroom? The most I have done is allow myself to be carried into a restaurant, maybe once or twice, but I am not sure I would do that again.
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Post by devogirl on Feb 28, 2009 0:05:17 GMT -5
To get back to the earlier point, this is not and never has been a disability dating site. We TALK about dating, sex, and relationships, but the purpose of the site is not to hook people up. The couples that have met through this board are the very rare exceptions. Guys who come here only looking for some action seem to get bored and leave pretty quickly.
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Post by Triassic on Feb 28, 2009 6:32:12 GMT -5
e, that was just an example, i thought up off the cuff. my point was that disabled folks are NEVER going to be able to really, truly keep up with free-ranging ABs even in a more or less officially 'accessible' environment. not really. not w/out lots of help from the ABs, not w/out slowing them down and/or causing them inconvenience after a certain period of time. you raised this point yourself in a post awhile back, if memory serves.
i might add that it's not NECESSARILY always a bad thing. i've noticed that AB's-especially when young-do a fair amount of pointless or ill-advised to-ing and fro-ing when out on the town or recreating or whatever...
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Post by mrjefffurz on Feb 28, 2009 11:11:07 GMT -5
in re the dating scene,,,,this rule applies...and i should know since ive lived on both sides of the fence....whether you think you can or think you cant,,,you will be right...
i wouldnt be interested in pay for play services because i get so much pleasure from the act of giving pleasure...not to say i dont receive pleasure and enjoy it very much...and business sex would feel more like masturbation by proxy...personally, i need the emotional charge...not "love" per say but attraction to the woman on a level beyond the physical, at least...
*laffin* just considering the US govt paying for a gay prostitute for someody,,talk about somebody going apoplectic just at the thought...im picturing a social secuirty-type beaurocrat having a coniption fit at his desk..
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Post by E on Feb 28, 2009 11:35:35 GMT -5
I missed something. ... why wouldn't I? Ummmm, because you wouldn't have your chair with you? Seriously? I can see a manual chair user going anywhere, but not if you really need a power chair. Call me a control freak but I would not go anywhere without my chair. I would be stranded where ever they put me down and how would I go to the bathroom? The most I have done is allow myself to be carried into a restaurant, maybe once or twice, but I am not sure I would do that again. I'd be in my power chair, of course. And me and said power chair would have arrived at the place via my vehicle.
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Post by lithiumcreations on Feb 28, 2009 17:11:25 GMT -5
e, that was just an example, i thought up off the cuff. my point was that disabled folks are NEVER going to be able to really, truly keep up with free-ranging ABs even in a more or less officially 'accessible' environment. not really. not w/out lots of help from the ABs, not w/out slowing them down and/or causing them inconvenience after a certain period of time. you raised this point yourself in a post awhile back, if memory serves. i might add that it's not NECESSARILY always a bad thing. i've noticed that AB's-especially when young-do a fair amount of pointless or ill-advised to-ing and fro-ing when out on the town or recreating or whatever... You make it sound like the "disabled" and "ABs" are a different species. It's like, you don't think you're good enough to hang out with the "mystical and all powerful ABs." Sure, being disabled we do things differently, sometimes really differently, but that is why we need assistive technology and personal assistants, they level the playing field. As for slowing people down or inconveniencing them, f*ck that attitude. People who like you will want you around.
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