amy
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Posts: 141
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Post by amy on Mar 9, 2009 9:33:41 GMT -5
... that a message board like this could NEVER exist between male devs and female wheelers. How long would it take for the females to freak out and take off??
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Post by E on Mar 9, 2009 11:18:50 GMT -5
Ever subscribed to a dev group with male devs/female wheelers? It's totally scary. Seriously.
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Post by Ouch on Mar 9, 2009 21:01:47 GMT -5
I've learned never to say never; it could happen if the right people were involved.
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Post by roger888 on Mar 10, 2009 2:15:06 GMT -5
You would need a tough moderator to keep everyone in line & zero tolerance on abuse,trolls & spam to make it work.
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Post by thegoodlife on Mar 15, 2009 4:49:03 GMT -5
It is interesting; I think a lot of male fascination with female disabled individuals may in some way combine with an andocentric bias in some males. Perhaps the fascination and admirable aspects the male finds in a disabled female and these particular biases and prejudices leads to actions from the male to treat the woman in some way as dependent on them, or even treat the disabled women with less respect than she deserves, perhaps even more as a sexual object than an erotic being. These biases are prevalent even among the so called "able bodied" gender roles, women are often thought as dependent, unworthy of respect and sexual objects. So this can lead to an entirely different devotee community for males. In general there are different social biases and social factors at work within male and female social contexts, so it's no surprise to me that these social factors in some way have a consequence on the respective devotee communities.
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Post by Triassic on Mar 15, 2009 6:46:50 GMT -5
yes, you may be on to something, goodlife. men ARE turned on by female vulnerability(i know i am). and that-in and of itself-is not problematic so long as there is respect, caring and affection/love too. but you could also have a guy who just digs exploiting helpless women; and the more helpless, the better.
but i doubt that it's the whole deal. hetero male devotees are often just creepy and weird; like their basic social skills are lacking or are warped. female devs are NOT like that, for the most part...
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Post by Claire on Mar 15, 2009 12:39:52 GMT -5
I was once approached by a devotee and I found it utterly disturbing, although at the time I was pretty clueless about what was going on...it had never happened to me before, and even though I *am* a dev and I know this happens, I was still totally naive. It was after the encounter that it hit me (rather forcefully -- read the link to my blog below, it tells the story), and it sent chills down my spine. I NEVER wanted to repeat the experience and I hoped to God I'd never meet another devotee. Of course being a devotee, I was keenly aware of the irony. But...most women just don't do that kind of thing. Do they? I never did. Then of course if the guy was a devotee, then he'd very likely know about BIID, which also had me completely freaking out. I blogged about the encounter a few months ago. In the end though, all things considered, it was a pretty innocent encounter compared to some stories I've heard.
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amy
Full Member
Posts: 141
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Post by amy on Mar 15, 2009 12:53:42 GMT -5
That is kind of a creepy story, Claire.
My theory is that the traditional role is that men do the pursuing and women get pursued. I don't have a disability but if a guy is too aggressive, I get creeped out. Aggressive men are a HUGE turnoff to me. Part of it might be fear of some kind of physical threat, since I'm quite small. I think dev guys can be especially aggressive and women can get very freaked out.
However, I think men are much less likely to be scared off by an aggressive woman. At worst, they get annoyed, but they don't feel threatened the way we do. I don't think a man has ever had to have his buddy escort him to his car because he was afraid of some girl following him, which is definitely something I have had to do many times.
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Post by Chan on Mar 15, 2009 13:18:38 GMT -5
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Post by faith on Mar 15, 2009 16:45:09 GMT -5
Claire- oh, yuck. Ohhh....
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Post by Ouch on Mar 15, 2009 20:34:59 GMT -5
I don't think a man has ever had to have his buddy escort him to his car because he was afraid of some girl following him, which is definitely something I have had to do many times. ...you haven't met some of the women I've encountered...you'd be surprised...
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amy
Full Member
Posts: 141
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Post by amy on Mar 15, 2009 20:54:06 GMT -5
I don't think a man has ever had to have his buddy escort him to his car because he was afraid of some girl following him, which is definitely something I have had to do many times. ...you haven't met some of the women I've encountered...you'd be surprised... Hee... okay, I admit some girls are crazy. But you were never actually scared that a girl was going to rape you in the parking lot??
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Post by Triassic on Mar 15, 2009 21:23:18 GMT -5
claire's example is exactly what i mean by 'no social skills'. if some woman acted like that to me, i'd be freaked out too.
well...unless she was really hot, i geuss.
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amy
Full Member
Posts: 141
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Post by amy on Mar 15, 2009 21:43:14 GMT -5
Women definitely tend to have more common sense in terms of what is socially appropriate. When I see a hot wheeler guy in a public place, I generally just cast furtive glances when I think he's not looking, meanwhile constructing a little fantasy in my head.
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Post by Ouch on Mar 16, 2009 1:15:02 GMT -5
...you haven't met some of the women I've encountered...you'd be surprised... Hee... okay, I admit some girls are crazy. But you were never actually scared that a girl was going to rape you in the parking lot?? Well, not rape, but I feared legitimate physical harm from my insane, coked-up ex-girlfriend. I was stabbed once by her (with a real knife...not like a fork or anything), and she tried to injure/kill me two other times (though they were very amateur and desperate attempts...)... Tri, trust me...even the 'hot' types (see the above I just wrote) aren't quite 'hot' when they want to do bad things to you or can't control themselves...
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