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Post by ruthmadison on Nov 8, 2011 22:34:02 GMT -5
At some of the Vegas revue shows, you can get a pic with the girls. I got a few with me, but then when I brought them home, seeing myself just ruins the pic for me. So now I just take them of the girls, without me in them. I think you're really handsome, Matisse.
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Post by ruthmadison on Nov 8, 2011 22:37:02 GMT -5
This is the most recent video of myself that had me shocked just how crippled I look... and I'm not even doing anything, really. Crazy. Is it weird that it took me a while to figure out which one was you...?
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k8
New Member
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Post by k8 on Nov 8, 2011 23:54:05 GMT -5
That is a pity, Matisse. I trust Ruth's opinion. I know your picture would probably blow my skirt up. I understand, tho. I don't like my picture to be taken now either. My PALS won't let anyone take his picture, but he still looks hot to me.
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Post by Pisti on Nov 9, 2011 10:48:37 GMT -5
I'm always amazed by this middle-aged woman who looks at me from each every mirror. She is just so not me. In my head I'm somewhere between my 9th and 10th birthday.
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eddieb
Full Member
Wheelchaired Adventurer
Posts: 113
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Post by eddieb on Nov 9, 2011 11:27:08 GMT -5
E -- Amazing thread. I know exactly what you mean. I have FSH MD. I was on my tennis team until senior year; things just became slightly harder and harder from when I turned 13 on (and has basically plateaud at different points, and I went into a wheelchair 10 years ago). But, perhaps because it was so slow (other than the tipping point of going into a chair), it all seemed so natural, and I still feel like the youthful version of myself. I of course knew I did things differently - My friends called it "Eddie-mechanics." But I thought little things hid it well...or that I still was "smooth." At first, when I was 16, I just made sure to wear three-quarter sleeve concert shirts to cover my thin biceps. I bought a really cool jeweled dog-head walking stick when I needed one, and always received great comments. But looking from within rather from without, I was unaware of the clunkiness of everyday motions. But, hey, after the initial "arghh, that kinda sucks," I have simply accepted it as the continuation of "Eddie-mechanics."
You know, I used to get pissed at people who said, "I really admire you." Since I did what came naturally to me and didn't feel any different from others, I was like "Fuck you. Don't admire me for just being who I am and succeeding at things." My feeling was it was pity. Now I don't get pissed. And while there's a thin line between admiration and pity, I get it.
Again, great thread E. Oh, and when you are up north, let's have a poker game. I am in two every week. In fact, we should get a whole crippled poker game, have someone paint us and see if it sells more than the one of those poker-playing dogs. ;-)
Ed
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Post by matisse on Nov 9, 2011 12:30:31 GMT -5
Awwww, thx!!! I think there's something about the contrast b/w me and the girls that was a bit too much. I deal better with pics of me with people I actually know.
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Post by Neffie on Nov 9, 2011 19:22:21 GMT -5
naked and tequila xxx
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Post by Pony on Nov 9, 2011 19:54:57 GMT -5
Yeah, interesting thread....I don't mind most still-pics of me, but I'm almost horrified by video of me. I really hate how I push, as it's so f*cking evident i'm no para, although most ABs don't even seem to notice, but i learned from playing music that people are only taking in a small percentage of what you're doing...guess it's same for disability! In order for me not to feel self conscious i PRETEND to be para....guess I'm a pretender? Wannabe? lol
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Post by matisse on Nov 9, 2011 20:59:43 GMT -5
I don't mind most still-pics of me, but I'm almost horrified by video of me. I was interviewed last year for an article, they videotaped the interview and put up some or all as part of the piece. I still haven't seen it.......people made nice comments about it at the time, but I just can't bring myself to see it. But more importantly, how could you have posted and not acknowledged Neffie's post?!?!?!!? Neffie, you have been missed.............
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Post by allison101 on Nov 9, 2011 21:45:28 GMT -5
This is so interesting, I've never really heard of this "phenomenon" before now.
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Post by ruthmadison on Nov 9, 2011 21:48:06 GMT -5
This thread is making me sad! Seems like a lot of people are down on themselves and their looks or movement or something.
Going along with perception, something encouraging that I've noticed is what an enormous effect personality has on appearance. You'd think that's just a nice way of calling someone ugly, but it really changes how a person looks to you.
You know how a hot girl can suddenly become really unappealing when she opens her mouth and says something dumb or mean?
Personally I noticed it the most with one of my very close friends. People describe her as "plain" or at least nothing special, yet she is the gentlest, kindest person I know and within a few weeks of knowing her it's almost impossible to remember what you thought of her looks at first glance. She becomes very beautiful. I feel like I started to redefine what beauty meant just based on her. Now when I look at her I see a physically beautiful woman.
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Post by allison101 on Nov 9, 2011 21:51:39 GMT -5
Ruth, I can't tell you how much I agree with that. Personality is absolutely EVERYTHING.
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k8
New Member
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Post by k8 on Nov 9, 2011 22:09:18 GMT -5
Ruth, that is the dearest sentiment I have ever heard. I am sure she feels the same about you. I have a new view on life, and friendship since I was burned. I was always told how pretty I was ( that is very difficult for me to say...I sound so conceited) After I was really hurt by the stares, and blatant rudeness. The odd up-side of this whole thing, is that I have found that the people who can look past the disfigurement usually become good friends with me.
I love that you can see beyond the packaging, and enjoy your friend as the present you recognize.
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Post by matisse on Nov 9, 2011 22:37:19 GMT -5
No need to be sad, Ruth! It doesn't get me down. But that doesn't mean that I don't have those feelings about the way I look........they are just a fact of life.
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Post by E on Nov 9, 2011 23:12:23 GMT -5
I don't mind most still-pics of me, but I'm almost horrified by video of me. I was interviewed last year for an article, they videotaped the interview and put up some or all as part of the piece. I still haven't seen it.......people made nice comments about it at the time, but I just can't bring myself to see it. That's funny you say that. I was interviewed on a nationally syndicated morning show -- discussing pool safety, etc. -- and I never watched it, either. I know my leg started spasming some in the middle of taping. They claimed it didn't show. I never cared to find out. In my defense, it would've been some work to get a copy, but I totally could have if I'd really wanted to see it. I liked reading the write-up more... www2.daytimeonline.tv/content/2011/apr/25/pool-safety/c_1/
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