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Post by Ath on May 28, 2013 23:24:47 GMT -5
So what was the question again?
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Post by ProudRealist on May 29, 2013 5:26:00 GMT -5
Ok, lets ask our dev friends another question... Not sure about para's, but us quads tend to spasm somewhat during play time in bed...my question to you, would this bother you, or do you think it'll make things a little more interesting Maybe neither and you have other opinions you wish to share?
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Post by lisa on May 31, 2013 2:03:09 GMT -5
Guess it's different for each dev. Anyway, I'm a spasms lover .
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whisperingpines
Junior Member
Posts: 84
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by whisperingpines on May 31, 2013 3:23:13 GMT -5
The more the better - is my humble opinion about this
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Post by Ath on May 31, 2013 4:12:59 GMT -5
Agreed
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Post by Dreamer5678 on May 31, 2013 8:48:26 GMT -5
I'm definitely for spasms Sent from my GT-N7100 using proboards
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Post by Dee Dee on May 31, 2013 9:23:14 GMT -5
Ok, lets ask our dev friends another question... Not sure about para's, but us quads tend to spasm somewhat during play time in bed...my question to you, would this bother you, or do you think it'll make things a little more interesting Maybe neither and you have other opinions you wish to share? paradevo.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=4461&page=4#93457And more in that thread´s middle pages about spasms.
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greenbean
Full Member
That's not me, just a chick with a pigeon poopin on her head.
Posts: 219
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by greenbean on May 31, 2013 15:46:37 GMT -5
In my opinion spasms are hot as hell.
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Post by ProudRealist on May 31, 2013 17:39:20 GMT -5
Ok message received loud and clear...i'm throwing out my Baclofen supply immediately ;D
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Post by finally on Jun 6, 2013 5:15:01 GMT -5
Do devs prefer the, um, subjects of their devness to be sexually experienced? I can just speak for me here. I struggled a lot with answering this question for myself. I have known (most times subconsciously) about my devness for a long time, but I never really considered it a "must-be" in a relationship. After dating a couple of AB guys though I realized there was a pattern in that they didn't manage to really arouse me when it came to sexual stuff although I mostly liked them much on the non-sexual level. Oh, Lisa, I´m at the exact same spot. I am so struggling right now - it´s been only three days that I now know there is a word for what I have been experiencing in my fantasy the past 20 yrs. And I am full of questioning myself: can it remain fantasy? or Do I want to take it to real life? I am absolutely obsessed at the moment by the thought I have to find a paraplegic man to date and have sex with. It feels like if I don´t, it will haunt me. I am masturbating every two hours... But it doesn´t only feel good to "have to do so". It feels like an obsessive-compulsive disorder right now. Also, I am so much afraid whether I can ever be happy (sexually) with my hushand. I have never had that arousal. ALWAYS when we were intimate, I "went away" in my brain, turned my head and was fully in my fantasies (which he knows nothing about of course). Right now it feels like I NEED this paraplegic man to get all exstatic and hot while having sex. And that is really terrifying to me because how should I find one? Or how do I even know if that is true? So, back to the question, I, right now, very much feel like I HAVE to experience my fantasies in real life! It feels like a MUST, an OBSESSION!
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Post by finally on Jun 6, 2013 5:46:44 GMT -5
In the past, we have heard of the "dark side" of being a dev. What is this "dark side?" What fantasies/thoughts/etc., specifically, would you place there? What else does it include? How do you feel about these things?
to me, basically, the "dark side" of devness is that I like something and that something is attracting, even arousing to me - which for that very person is (or might be) painful (I mean psychologically), which for that person might be "wrong" (like "if I hadn´t had that bad accident and weren´t paralysed, I´d be happy, and like this I´m not"). That society sees disability as a burdon and something one should, if possible, get rid of, do therapies, whatever... that is that "dark side" and that is where the shame and guilt comes from. Thats also why I wouldn´t want to date a "fresh" SCI who is struggling with his situation. I want a man who´s happy in life, loves his body and finds it arousing that I find him attractive and arousing. Regarding my concrete fantasies, I don´t find anything "dark" I think there are no "dark" fantasies as long as both partners agree on doing something (e.g. SM ...)
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Post by finally on Jun 6, 2013 5:55:02 GMT -5
SOOOOO.... I would like to hear ''YOUR'' perspective on sex...functionality...intimacy etc. How important is each aspect to you? In my life I have never had satisfying sex with an AB guy. (I must say, there weren´t many...) I have encountered men with severe anxiety issues and therefore erectial dysfunctions. I have always longed for having sex with a man who can really have a very long lasting erection - because I never have experienced that. Once I read on the internet, a para guy wrote that his erection lasts 60 minutes and longer and that this is "a dream for every woman" (or something like that), and I immediately thought, yes, I want to meet that guy. I couldn´t find his e-mail or anything, the post also was several years old. Really, I don´t think it matters if there´s erection or not. I think there must be arousal, hotness, attractivity, hot kisses, petting and all that - and I can have my orgasms in great ways when I do it myself - having this para guy next to me stimulating me. wow, nice! So, I think I can go well without erection. But fact is, I´d like to experience that long erection thing where I am on top and to my stuff and the guy is not moving his hip at all! But he has beautiful arms and hands and is petting and kissing me all over. Actually, with an AB man, he was on top - I really felt arousal once, and I told him NOT TO MOVE, to just hold still - and then I moved and had a very good orgasm. But I don´t want to have to tell a man to hold still. I want a man who cannot do other than holding still. That thought is very arousing to me.
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Post by finally on Jun 6, 2013 6:01:44 GMT -5
Secondly, intimacy: THIS is the key. Sex without intimacy is a waste of effort, in my opinion. I have been on both sides of this, and for ME, I need intimacy in order to enjoy sex. I am not talking necessarily about foreplay, either. To me, the idea of foreplay is completely overrated at best, and taken out of context at worst. If your relationship based on trust, communication, giving and receiving pleasure in all things (talking, cooking, getting out of the house, breaking routine to just BE with each other) then every moment you are both awake IS foreplay. Using "foreplay" to get the engines running is a cheat (see above), a shortcut, a way to get around the idea of true intimacy. Intimacy is vital to a great sex life, in my opinion. Intimacy smooths away the harsh edges of life that tend to cut us in a thousand little ways, every day. The small resentments, the little arguments about the way the toilet paper hangs, or who left the cap off the toothpaste, the silences when a simple "I'm just stuck in my own head right now" would ease tension... these add to the difficulties we all face every time we leave our homes. Most days we all face horrible bosses, traffic jams, rude store clerks, idiotic parking situations... and those are the GOOD days... BAD days can really derail us... and when we come home to our partner who we ignored that morning because we were in too much of a hurry to appreciate them... even the "good" days can become bad days. Intimacy in a relationship, to me, is NOT taking our partners for granted. Intimacy is finding ways to appreciate them even when they (or WE) are having those bad days. Intimacy is looking for things to love, even when we don't feel like it. Intimacy is being brave enough to be open and honest, transparent... taking the covers off of our deepest wells of darkness and letting our partners see inside, on good AND on bad days. Intimacy is remembering every day what is beautiful and sexy and desirous in our partners, even on THEIR worst days. Intimacy is NOT sex, but... for me, intimacy makes good sex great. Lucretia, I so much LOVE that post of yours!!!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2013 7:19:49 GMT -5
new question - how do I meet gay devs?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2013 10:28:06 GMT -5
don't see my question posted
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