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Post by Emma on Mar 12, 2014 13:28:56 GMT -5
Thanks for chiming in queen. That's really interesting that you have come across that many people with BIID. I guess its more common than I thought. That is not the first story I have heard about dry ice, refusing wound care and leg amputation. There was even an episode about someone with BIID on the TV show Real Stories of the ER. That involved either a lawnmower or chainsaw and an amputated hand.
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stiffl3g
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by stiffl3g on Mar 12, 2014 18:44:50 GMT -5
Stiffl3g, I will have to disagree with you, on your statement that people affected with BIID have much support in the scientific community. Hey Queen. I think my message was misunderstanding and not precise enough. Within the general medical community this issue still is very controversial. I was talking about the community that is involved in researching this issue. They are the ones who are supporting and have a lot of knowledge. In the average emergency room you cannot expect the medics to be BIID experts, I would have been surprised if the person you met there would have received understanding. Imagine there is a person, maybe bleeding, maybe severely injured and they want to have their leg(s) removed. Every doctor would wonder if this person is mentally healthy. This is just normal reaction. Thus, every BIID person should carefully think how to handle their issue. Putting your leg in dry ice and asking the ER to take your legs simply is extortion (or blackmailing whatever English word is appropriate), this is a bad way. Many BIID persons are dispaired, just as I was, but they need to keep in mind acting reasonably is important. If someone thinks they need to go despaired steps, they should plan it well at least and not show up in the ER surprising the whole stuff with their desire. This is not reasonable.
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stiffl3g
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by stiffl3g on Mar 12, 2014 18:49:52 GMT -5
Thanks for chiming in queen. That's really interesting that you have come across that many people with BIID. Not everyone who shows up in the ER really is a BIID person. This diagnosis needs careful examination and the number of professionals able to make such diagnosis is limited. The actual number of persons with BIID is rather small. Not every desire for amputation is BIID, actually it is the smallest number.
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Post by outofsight on Aug 5, 2022 13:37:23 GMT -5
I feel similarly about people with BIID and people who feel they were 'assigned' the wrong gender. It must really fucking suck to live life uncomfortable in your body. I will never claim to understand it, but I think we should accept people for who they are. Obviously it does not excuse bad behavior (on the net, irl, whatever, I haven't had personal experiences but I've read posts on this thread an over the years). Also, I am fucking weird. I can make yah a list if your interested, and I know everyone's special, but I understand that deep down feeling of not belonging and of hating who you are, and I think that if I was in the position of someone with BIID these feelings would be even more pervasive. I am answering to this now as today I was recommended to engage with PD material that relates to past Biid-related content. So I am reading and learning , slowly.
As a Biid-sufferer who is managing without pretending, faking, self-surgery-ing, stealing resources etc. I would say pervasive is a perfect word to describe my lifelong experience, yes.
Not asked-for, uncomfortable, time to time torturing and yet such a core part of who I am.
I think it also sensitized me more towards trans people and those waiting for restorative surgeries or people who cannot gain/lose weight.
Josh
and his imaginary white cane.
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Post by outofsight on Aug 5, 2022 15:55:45 GMT -5
My feelings are, it's none of my business as long as you aren't planning to self-injure without the financial resources to support yourself post injury. Fair enough
I'm glad my Biid-urges are not tying me to self-surgery/surgery seeking, but I know many of my fellow Biid-ers cope much less.
Josh
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Post by dannyboy95 on Aug 8, 2022 15:56:53 GMT -5
I honestly feel sorry for the people who have an insatiable desire to be disabled. It must be truly difficult to live with that. And I admire everyone who is open about this still very stigmatized mental health condition. However, I do get enraged at all these people secretly pretending to be disabled. Especially aiming to groom devotees, only to use and disappoint them. I find this very manipulative and dishonest. Also, I don’t understand what people get from this, other than living a perpetual lie and never truly connecting with anyone based on honesty and trust.
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Post by ayla on Aug 8, 2022 18:43:05 GMT -5
Yeah it comes back to label vs. behavior, just as it does for devs. I hate hearing people say things like “devs are pushy and don’t respect pwd boundaries, devs make unwanted fetishizing comments, etc.” Those are terrible behaviors that some devs (and non devs) do but, as a dev who doesn’t engage in those behaviors, it’s easy for me to say that others behave that way not because they’re devs but because they’re creeps. However, with current research being practically nonexistent, I can’t be sure that I’m right. Maybe devness is a mental illness and some people have a more severe form which also impacts their impulse control. I hope that’s not the case, but these are (some of) the philosophical questions that come up for me when I consider BIID.
Personally, I think BIID is a mental illness. It certainly sounds like the bad behavior of many BIID folks is blamed on the intensity of their urges. I have compassion for BIID folks because I’m sure none of them chose to have such feelings. I do hate some of the behaviors BIID folks engage in (pretending in ways that misrepresent or disadvantage PWD, lying and manipulating devs, etc) and I don’t know to what degree people actually have control over these reprehensible behaviors. However, despite my sympathy for their mental illness, I’m not really interested in learning, supporting, engaging with “the BIID community” because I feel it has very little to do with devness or even disability. I’m similarly sympathetic to those with schizophrenia. But if a schizophrenic has a delusion or hallucinations around having/wanting/desiring disability, that doesn’t mean we have much in common. I’m fully aware there are people who think devness is a similar mental illness, and maybe for some it is, but I personally don’t feel any struggle to control inappropriate behavior or urges.
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Post by outofsight on Aug 9, 2022 4:35:05 GMT -5
Personally, I think BIID is a mental illness. It certainly sounds like the bad behavior of many BIID folks is blamed on the intensity of their urges. I have compassion for BIID folks because I’m sure none of them chose to have such feelings. I do hate some of the behaviors BIID folks engage in (pretending in ways that misrepresent or disadvantage PWD, lying and manipulating devs, etc) and I don’t know to what degree people actually have control over these reprehensible behaviors. However, despite my sympathy for their mental illness, I’m not really interested in learning, supporting, engaging with “the BIID community” because I feel it has very little to do with devness or even disability. I’m similarly sympathetic to those with schizophrenia. But if a schizophrenic has a delusion or hallucinations around having/wanting/desiring disability, that doesn’t mean we have much in common. I’m fully aware there are people who think devness is a similar mental illness, and maybe for some it is, but I personally don’t feel any struggle to control inappropriate behavior or urges.
In the past many years, I've read many logs/blogs/posts both by Devotees and by fellow BIID-ers. Some of those posts made me think that the person was suffering from a mental illness, while other posts didn't sound like that at all. I think some of the things we consider to be mental illness are yet unmapped structural varieties of the human brain (pff, I'm no psychologist or neuroscientist so I just tried to find the best words I know to try to phrase this , not talking about forensic cases here, of course, that's obviously not healthy).
However, I think after certain amount of emotional suffering and strong longing without reaching any outcome at all, mental illness can form in anyone. As for crossing boundaries of other people (i.e. inappropriate behaviors), I came across both some Biid-ers and some Devotees who were doing that, but it was a minority. I think inappropriate behaviors can be present in any group of society, there are always people with different behavioral standards everywhere.
Just a little rumination in the morning.
Josh
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Post by outofsight on Aug 9, 2022 4:51:16 GMT -5
However, I do get enraged at all these people secretly pretending to be disabled. Especially aiming to groom devotees, only to use and disappoint them. I find this very manipulative and dishonest. Also, I don’t understand what people get from this, other than living a perpetual lie and never truly connecting with anyone based on honesty and trust. I did come upon a few of my fellow Biid-ers in my past online ventures who shared that they do this practice, the online pretending without disclosure (still a minority though, at least from my experience). Whenever I asked them the why, usually their first point was that Internet encounters are for people who would never meet in real life anyway. I would argue with that - many friendships and couples start in the online world these days and some of those connections can last for a very long time But beyond that, from what I understood, their level of BIID was very high and sorta out of control already. Not saying that what they were doing is right, not at all, just sharing.
Josh
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