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Post by Dreamer5678 on Jan 6, 2015 7:56:01 GMT -5
Way to go Inky!! My fingers are crossed that your story and the explanation are well received.
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Post by mwin on Jan 6, 2015 8:33:55 GMT -5
Nice one!! You've thought it all through and you are who you are. However it goes you're doing the only thing you can do for peace of mind. My fingers and toes are crossed!!
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Post by mwin on Jan 6, 2015 12:38:56 GMT -5
Aaaahhh!!! That feeling of anticipation. Keep us updated? X
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Post by happyface2013 on Jan 6, 2015 12:49:18 GMT -5
Go Inky!
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 6, 2015 22:30:13 GMT -5
Thanks guys. I got a couple of good friends to check it out for me from a male and female perspective, so I've now sent it. The ball's firmly in his court now. Going home to lay awake all night having palpitations. Deep cleansing breaths, Inky...good for you
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jan 7, 2015 8:30:47 GMT -5
I'm glad he took it well but more importantly, I'm glad you're relieved.
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Post by Dreamer5678 on Jan 7, 2015 8:54:20 GMT -5
So happy for you Inky! Glad it worked out :-)
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Post by Justagirl on Jan 7, 2015 10:25:01 GMT -5
That is great news! Do you know what this means? That you simply have great taste in men. I have not commented on this topic yet, but I hope a guy who I am attracted to would have a personality that is open and understanding enough to accept this part of me. And if nothing else, someone who would not immediately judge before he took the time to ask questions and try to understand. Otherwise I would personally wonder if he WAS the right guy for me. My personality is not like that. So I am happy that "your guy" DOES possess all these qualities. Like I said, great taste in men. (I speak in reference to a relationship with a guy who is disabled. I understand it is much more difficult to reveal to an AB guy. Telling an AB that you are attracted to something they DON"T have may understandably not go over well.)
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Post by happyface2013 on Jan 7, 2015 12:32:22 GMT -5
Great news Inky! A great gal for a great guy,
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Post by roger888 on Jan 7, 2015 13:04:38 GMT -5
That's the reply you should be getting.It's reassuring to learn that the whole world isn't full of numbnuts.
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Post by JW on Jan 7, 2015 13:15:38 GMT -5
After tying myself in complete knots about how he'd take the news, he eventually replied (he made me wait though, the bugger) and said he can't see what I was so worried about. He hasn't got a problem with my (now not so secret) fetish and his best line ever "So you like the fact I'm in a wheelchair and the way I move and work. How can that be a negative?" What a lovely man. He's just gone up even more in my estimations, if that was possible. I want to say 'thank you' a million times over to everyone here who has offered and given me their support, from 'likes' and posts, through to PMs and emails. I'm deadly serious when I say I COULD NOT have done this without you. Finally, I can be myself with the person I care about so much. Inky xxx I knew it would work out OK. Trust me, from what you've said before, I don't think it was much of a surprise to him at all. Obviously, he knew you were attracted to him, so it wasn't necessarily a big leap to guess that the disability might be part of it. We guys are not always as slow as we seem. Lol! But seriously though, I'm glad you were able to get it off your chest. Now you can relax and have nice anxiety free fun with him from now on.
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Post by mwin on Jan 7, 2015 16:28:41 GMT -5
Yay!!!! The perfect result! Did he have questions? Or did it seem like he knew all along? Interested to see how he now 'behaves' maybe hamming things up?
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 7, 2015 17:17:38 GMT -5
That's the reply you should be getting.It's reassuring to learn that the whole world isn't full of numbnuts. I SO second this one. Sometimes, we disabled folks can be our own worst enemies.
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Post by Justagirl on Jan 7, 2015 22:54:49 GMT -5
(I speak in reference to a relationship with a guy who is disabled. I understand it is much more difficult to reveal to an AB guy. Telling an AB that you are attracted to something they DON"T have may understandably not go over well.) You think, PretzelTwist? I don't know. It's pretty hard on this end too. I think it's hard on both ends. Yes, telling an AB partner that you are attracted to something that they are NOT, would be gut wrenching.
But- telling a PWD is pretty hard too. They ARE who we are attracted to. So if they don't accept it, and that's always a possibility, where do you go from there?
And to tell a pwd after the fact, like Inky... and like I did. It's a very scary place.
Either way, we all know how hard it is to tell any partner. So, good outcomes are always AMAZING!! Congrats, Inky!!
Good point @tc123. I will clarify and say that I would definitely be nervous to admit being a dev to ANY guy that I'm in a relationship with, disabled or AB. I agree, it isn't an easy thing to do, and I didn't mean to make it sound like it would be. The part I think would and should be easier is AFTER the fact, how the guy reacts. Because if he is disabled and the type of guy I hope he is, he will be relatively ok with it. And that may (I say may because this is all hypothetical for me), but that may give me a little more courage to tell him. Of course I could think he's the type of guy that will handle it great, but until we're in that situation I don't know. And that unknown will always be scary. I give all you girls credit that have actually done this. Like I said it's all purely hypothetical for me!
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Post by roger888 on Jan 8, 2015 1:08:41 GMT -5
That's the reply you should be getting.It's reassuring to learn that the whole world isn't full of numbnuts. I SO second this one. Sometimes, we disabled folks can be our own worst enemies. Been my worst enemy many years ago in my wasted early days.Can I third it?
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