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Post by jrm on Feb 10, 2016 17:50:14 GMT -5
I'd have to say that I am neutral about catheters and leg bags. They are neither a turn off nor a turn on for me. Nor do I find it awkward to be around them or see them. I don't mind helping with them, if needed, but if the guy doesn't need help, that's fine, too. They are simply something there that serves a purpose.
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Post by lavly on Feb 10, 2016 18:27:33 GMT -5
im on the neutral side as well...
having said that ... i now do the super pubic change of catheter for my dude and everytime i shit my paints a lil cos i dont want to get it wrong...
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Post by harmonniousvision on Feb 10, 2016 18:57:59 GMT -5
I'm also neutral... a dev will know its there and it won't or shouldn't be a surprise. Whether its a turn on or not would depend on the dev and what floats her boat but i can't imagine it being a turn off per se as much as expected cuz a dev would presumably have some idea what its about  |
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Post by lucretia on Feb 10, 2016 19:59:45 GMT -5
I went from being neutral-positive to neutral-negative.
Personal experience has led me to be extremely suspicious of the entire conversation (in general and especially in a public forum).
As for IN a relationship, any bladder/bowel stuff, including catheters, become part of the day to day. Neutral-neutral.
I used to write dev fiction based on personal experience both in person and job related- before I dated disabled guys. In the fiction world, bladder/bowel stuff was part of the thrill of the package.
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Post by lavly on Feb 10, 2016 20:18:39 GMT -5
I went from being neutral-positive to neutral-negative. Personal experience has led me to be extremely suspicious of the entire conversation (in general and especially in a public forum). As for IN a relationship, any bladder/bowel stuff, including catheters, become part of the day to day. Neutral-neutral. I used to write dev fiction based on personal experience both in person and job related- before I dated disabled guys. In the fiction world, bladder/bowel stuff was part of the thrill of the package. but now you fel like its neutral negative? |
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Post by lucretia on Feb 10, 2016 20:37:00 GMT -5
Neutral in person (relationship), negative in discussion (especially PWD), I don't write dev fiction anymore.
I stopped writing after getting serious with Alf. It just stopped happening, it wasn't something I decided one day.
When I was writing, I used neutral personal experiences to create a part of the thrill package. Not THE thrill,but part of it. My fiction is still around here, somewhere.
I can also say when I was having some online and phone fun with a quad, he would keep me on the line when his aid came in. It wasn't part of the fun, but it added a sense of reality. I used that, along with my experience working in hospitals and rehab (another lifetime ago) in my fiction.
The thing is, I was a hard core quad dev for years. It wasn't until I started dating. After meeting guys with a variety of disabilities, I married a low para, who is also an amputee.
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Post by lavly on Feb 10, 2016 21:45:10 GMT -5
i get you ... that makes sence
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Post by Justagirl on Feb 10, 2016 22:10:12 GMT -5
I'm not a huge fan of the bag. Although I would be expecting it, and I realize it is a necessity and therefore won't be appalled when it comes into play, it's something I could really do without. If I'm going to be totally honest that is.
I could see how someone unfamiliar with SCI's may have no idea and be quite taken back at first sight. My advice would be to give them time to get used to it. Some will adjust and be cool with it, and some probably will not. Guess you don't know till you try.
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mica
Junior Member
Posts: 50 
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by mica on Feb 10, 2016 22:48:56 GMT -5
In my opinion, I do not mind the catheter and leg bag ...
if you like a guy, you have to accept everything that goes with their disability, and if you are a devotee, you know in advance what you're going to find you.
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Post by lucretia on Feb 10, 2016 23:37:40 GMT -5
In my opinion, I do not mind the catheter and leg bag ... if you like a guy, you have to accept everything that goes with their disability, and if you are a devotee, you know in advance what you're going to find you. Yes, but not all devs are into the same things. Not every disability comes with the bag. Just because someone isn't into a leg bag doesn't mean they're not a dev. And even if something is okay, or even the exciting, in pre-dating (or fantasy), it doesn't mean that translates to what a dev may ultimately want or need long-term. A few of us have changed our minds during the dating process. It doesn't mean we didn't know what we were getting into, nor does it mean we're not devs. |
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vancityippy
Full Member
Posts: 209
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by vancityippy on Feb 10, 2016 23:58:07 GMT -5
My spouse P, is a C3 quad and has a supra pubic catheter.
I agree with the other ladies in that catheters are neutral (not a turn on, but I expect them and can help).
When I first saw P's catheter it was the first supra pubic catheter I'd seen...so I definitely noticed it and it isn't a particularly sexy thing to look at.
That being said, part of my devness is and has always been that , I enjoy and am turned on by the act of making my man feel at ease with awkward things (such as during transfers, with spasms during sex and with bowel/ bladder issues)...so when I first saw his cath I remember acting unphased even though, in my mind I was kinda like..."Huh, that's odd" So in this sense it was a turn-on.
Anyhow, I came to love the thing...the penis is freed up solely for sex and is never tainted with urine:)
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vancityippy
Full Member
Posts: 209
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by vancityippy on Feb 11, 2016 0:33:17 GMT -5
My bet is that a dev wouldn't think it was odd one bit! Most of us know about and expect those things |
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Post by Maurine on Feb 11, 2016 3:47:46 GMT -5
I don't have any experience with suprapubic catheters.
I like the leg bag. Not because of its content, but rather because it's a necessity caused by the disability that turns me on.
I feel neutral about urinal condoms and intermittent catheterisation.
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Post by strawberrybubblegum on Feb 11, 2016 5:48:24 GMT -5
I'm also dating a C4 quad who has a suprapubic catheter.
Before we met for the first time we'd never talked bladder and bowel issues, but being a dev of course I knew. Before we were going to have sex for the first time he explained to me that he had a supra. Guess he didn't want me to freak out, but I had already expected it. Still it was a little odd for me when I first saw it, but I didn't let it show. We almost had an accident with it once, so it still sometimes freaks me out a bit. In general I'd also say I feel neutral about it, though.
Same goes for the leg bag. I have no problem at all with helping with it.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2016 8:29:15 GMT -5
I have no issues whatsoever with catheters and their accompanying accessories. Like most of the other devs, I fully expected it. My guy is a T12/L1 incomplete, and does the intermittant routine, so the situation is a little bit different, but it doesn't bother me at all, even when he wears a leg bag, other than my constant fear of inadvertently popping it. Catheters are neither a turn on or off for me, and I've always been neutral to them.
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