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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 13:35:56 GMT -5
I'm not sure I find it offensive yet... I feel like I should based on what everyone is saying. Stereotypes are never good to perpetuate.. BUT sometimes.. They exist for a reason. In the preview.. It makes the guy seem like a bad ass before he was hurt... Living life to its fullest and having worked to have everything go his way... And then to be a quad confined to a chair... A low functioning quad per what I see in the previews.
I guess it's different when it's you.. BUT speaking from my own personal perspective.. The thought of being a low functioning quad after what I was.. I don't think I would handle that well at ALL... And honestly... I don't know if I could.. So maybe I'll take a look.. Maybe I need to meet some bad ass low functioning quads to gain some perspective.. Especially ones that made the most out of their lives and had a life to be admired pre injury. Every life has value.. BUT the higher you soar.. The harder the fall is when you do fall. IT takes an especially strong character to rise to those heights agin.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
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Post by Melina26 on May 27, 2016 14:38:18 GMT -5
I was finally able to read the book!! And there were a few devvy bits, mostly when his aid explains things of his care to Louisa,and I personally find the procedures of care really devvy From the clips I think he is indeed too stiff! C4s can move their neck normally, please... Lol and the chair looks kinda wrong too, nit to mention him moving one of his hands but no arm movement at all seems inaccurate. Still, I can't wait to watch it with my c4 boyfriend ❤
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2016 17:57:34 GMT -5
For folks who enjoy actual PWDs in their PWD viewing pleasure... This video was great... and obnoxious... I laughed at the sensitivity of this guy... since mere words hurting anyone ("that's offensive") makes me laugh.. BUT he is extremely intelligent... and this vid took a LONG time to watch.. think about the time it took to make... OR maybe my able-ist thinking self hated it and my chair using self loved it... who knows... a day in the life. IN EITHER CASE.. thanks for sharing the vid. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
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Post by midwestguy on Jun 2, 2016 19:12:33 GMT -5
i did not enjoy the book... it wasn't devvy which is why i read it hoping for a fix it didn't even push my sappy romance buttons... I don't think i'm going to see this movie afterall at least i'm not going to spend money to see it... IF i see it on cable next year maybe i'll watch it... Born2Roll sent me this article... its an interview with the Director(?) there's a quote "My nephew is in a wheelchair and I hope he will be pleased to see this shown in a way that does not make audiences too uncomfortable. If we had shown Will being taken in and out of his chair, or put in a hoist over a bath, the impression we would give is of difficulty. I wanted to make it more normal.” that just makes me feel ill... they're "able-washing" disability... Heaven forbid people see that the normal lives of PWDs can be "difficult" www.theguardian.com/film/2016/may/22/me-before-you-film-love-disability-thea-sharrock-sam-claflinI'm now definitely not spending money on this movie! It is frustrating that this director had the rare opportunity to show what a PWD goes through on a daily basis and yet hides it from the viewers' eyes. I hope her nephew is disappointed in her, because she did him a great disservice
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Post by freya on Jun 3, 2016 8:18:34 GMT -5
For folks who enjoy actual PWDs in their PWD viewing pleasure... OMG I LOVED this review! At first I thought "ugh 15 minutes?" But it was great. He makes some really good points. Being a bit of a literature/movie snob, this made me Lol. I was going to read the book and see the movie to judge for myself (and ohhh boy, can I judge... Don't get me started about "Fifty Shades of Atrocious Writing"). However, the main character actually euthanizes himself in the end?! Is that true? If so, then no, absolutely not. Fine, there are bad inaccuracies and cliché plot devices, I expected that, but if the entire message is there is no hope in the end, then screw that. While I don't hold the viewpoint that being paralyzed should be a death sentence (nor does it equate a "living death"), it IS frickin' hard to deal with. Dating a quad, I realize that more than ever. I'm playing devil's advocate and saying it's okay that the author portrays the guy as depressed and brooding ("Lieutenant Dan! ICE CREAAAMM!"). I would think that's a common experience for someone when they first get hurt. But, to imply that there's no point to life, that there's no way to adapt, reach a state of acceptance, and live a quality life in the end, infuriates me. I think "Forrest Gump" did a beautiful job of illustrating the journey from grief to acceptance for a PWD. If the main character kills himself in the end, then frankly that's disgusting. An author has the gift of spreading a special message throughout the world, and this is a horrible use of that gift. Anyway, I'm done ranting. This guy did a great job reviewing. A c11-c12 injury? I lol'd. I hate sloppy research. And can I just admit I loved just watching this guy sit and talk? Haha so devvy of me.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 10:42:46 GMT -5
For folks who enjoy actual PWDs in their PWD viewing pleasure... OMG I LOVED this review! At first I thought "ugh 15 minutes?" But it was great. He makes some really good points. Being a bit of a literature/movie snob, this made me Lol. I was going to read the book and see the movie to judge for myself (and ohhh boy, can I judge... Don't get me started about "Fifty Shades of Atrocious Writing"). However, the main character actually euthanizes himself in the end?! Is that true? If so, then no, absolutely not. Fine, there are bad inaccuracies and cliché plot devices, I expected that, but if the entire message is there is no hope in the end, then screw that. While I don't hold the viewpoint that being paralyzed should be a death sentence (nor does it equate a "living death"), it IS frickin' hard to deal with. Dating a quad, I realize that more than ever. I'm playing devil's advocate and saying it's okay that the author portrays the guy as depressed and brooding ("Lieutenant Dan! ICE CREAAAMM!"). I would think that's a common experience for someone when they first get hurt. But, to imply that there's no point to life, that there's no way to adapt, reach a state of acceptance, and live a quality life in the end, infuriates me. I think "Forrest Gump" did a beautiful job of illustrating the journey from grief to acceptance for a PWD. If the main character kills himself in the end, then frankly that's disgusting. An author has the gift of spreading a special message throughout the world, and this is a horrible use of that gift. Anyway, I'm done ranting. This guy did a great job reviewing. A c11-c12 injury? I lol'd. I hate sloppy research. And can I just admit I loved just watching this guy sit and talk? Haha so devvy of me. I appreciated the review... and it was great to read your rant... because the issue is exactly as nuanced as you both pointed out. Although I will say... that he presents the various viewpoints.. BUT he is heavy against the "able-ist" point of view... and ascribes the main character's feelings as able-ist as if they would never be held by anyone in a chair.... .... well... I've gotta say and be honest here... When he quoted the part where the main character ranted about how small his world has gotten since his injury... Those EXACT words have been said by me to my gf on my bad days. This (SCI) is a rough injury. There is an evolution that goes into going from a completely abled bodied 30 something year old... who travelled the world... lived life to it's fullest (again some of the description of the main character sounded familiar) to confined (oh no... it's one of the words the reviewer hated) to a chair. AND I'm not comfortable with it yet. I LOVED who I was... what I was doing. BUT I guess why I appreciated the review and your words as well... is because I still appreciate who I am and what I am doing. I try not to compare.. before and after.. and normally I don't. On the bad days... I do. I have strong feelings against suicide. I think for the most part... that it shows a weakness of character and is extremely selfish. HOWEVER.. that being said... When it comes to debilitating injury and terminal illnesses... I try not to judge. Those are the only cases that I try not to judge. And I do have a great life.. own my own home.. love the work I'm doing advocating for veterans... starting to get competitive in Nordic skiing.. which has put some bad ass people and athletes in my life... AND (like the guy in the video points out).. I know some bad ass normal guys in a chair (live the normal american dream.. home.. wife.. kids). BUT.. they've been living this life for almost a decade. I just have to accept the fact that I'm still new to a lot of this... and I haven't figured it all out.. damn... I don't know it all?? What's that about? I know I am lucky enough to have some good friends abled bodied and chair users (some SCI.. some TBI... some CP.. come amps)... I have an amazing family.. I have a beautiful, loving, and PATIENT (did I mention patient? LOL) woman in my life. I am one of the lucky ones.. BUT STILL... despite that.. It's still difficult for me at times.. Because it is easy for me to point out the ways in which my world has shrunk... AND I know it has grown rich in other ways... BUT that wasn't of my choosing... NOT only that.. I'm still not convinced that the way that it has grown is greater than or equal to the ways that it has shrunk.... and at the end of the day.. I need to see that for myself. That will be the moment... will go a long way into probably getting to the point where this reviewer is... HOPEFULLY though.... I won't pretend NOR act as if I never held those points of views.... I won't act as if there is no way that those viewpoints could ever be held by a real guy in a chair... and if they are.. then there OBVIOUSLY is something wrong with or pathetic about that guy in a chair. I think that's what rubbed me the wrong way about the review and the reviewer. How pretentious are you Judgy McJudgerton (was my thinking). It's great you've accepted every aspect of what's going on.. but he makes it seem as though he never held those views.. or that there was no learning curve to get there... and maybe he didn't. NOT all men (and women) were living life as fully as they make the main character seem. I mean how many men truly can say they were jet setting, world traveling, outgoing, athletic... eaters of life? Who's bed was only empty when they wanted it to be... I suspect not many. LOL My 2 cents.. to be left on the counter, thrown in the communal "give a penny take a penny pot", taken, or tossed on the floor. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
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Post by freya on Jun 3, 2016 11:47:24 GMT -5
And I do have a great life.. own my own home.. love the work I'm doing advocating for veterans... starting to get competitive in Nordic skiing.. which has put some bad ass people and athletes in my life... AND (like the guy in the video points out).. I know some bad ass normal guys in a chair (live the normal american dream.. home.. wife.. kids). BUT.. they've been living this life for almost a decade. I just have to accept the fact that I'm still new to a lot of this... and I haven't figured it all out.. damn... I don't know it all?? What's that about? I know I am lucky enough to have some good friends abled bodied and chair users (some SCI.. some TBI... some CP.. come amps)... I have an amazing family.. I have a beautiful, loving, and PATIENT (did I mention patient? LOL) woman in my life. I am one of the lucky ones.. BUT STILL... despite that.. It's still difficult for me at times.. Because it is easy for me to point out the ways in which my world has shrunk... AND I know it has grown rich in other ways... BUT that wasn't of my choosing... NOT only that.. I'm still not convinced that the way that it has grown is greater than or equal to the ways that it has shrunk.... and at the end of the day.. I need to see that for myself. That will be the moment... will go a long way into probably getting to the point where this reviewer is... HOPEFULLY though.... I won't pretend NOR act as if I never held those points of views.... I won't act as if there is no way that those viewpoints could ever be held by a real guy in a chair... and if they are.. then there OBVIOUSLY is something wrong with or pathetic about that guy in a chair. I think that's what rubbed me the wrong way about the review and the reviewer. How pretentious are you Judgy McJudgerton (was my thinking). It's great you've accepted every aspect of what's going on.. but he makes it seem as though he never held those views.. or that there was no learning curve to get there... and maybe he didn't. NOT all men (and women) were living life as fully as they make the main character seem. I mean how many men truly can say they were jet setting, world traveling, outgoing, athletic... eaters of life? Who's bed was only empty when they wanted it to be... I suspect not many. LOL My 2 cents.. to be left on the counter, thrown in the communal "give a penny take a penny pot", taken, or tossed on the floor. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain *mic drop* That was awesome, Icarus. For real. (I love your screename, too, btw. Flew too high near the sun...jeez, I'm a sucker for poetic stuff like that.) Though I enjoyed the review, I did find myself arguing out loud at a couple things. One point was when he said it was offensive to say someone is "in a wheelchair." I'm like, what's so wrong about that? I get IN a car, I sit IN a chair, etc etc. It's not like saying "confined" in my opinion, it's just a statement of fact. That was a bit much. And the whole "you shouldn't portray PWD in an angst-ridden way." Like I said in my rant, SCIs suck. It absolutely would be depressing, especially early on. I've spoken to a couple guys who thought about or tried to commit suicide when they were first injured. To me, saying this perspective isn't right or realistic is essentially denying people their right to grieve. Yes, being injured causes grief, the same stages of grief that losing a loved one does. At my hospital, we even have a treatment plan for the psychological effects of amputations and SCIs, which includes grief and mourning the loss of a limb/limbs. Some days, the guy I'm dating (I think I can officially call him my boyfriend now, actually) has a great sense of humor about it all, he works full time, he's very independent. Other days, he's in a lot of pain and miserable, or he gets pissed off about stuff he used to be able to do but can't anymore. I don't judge him for that, it's his right to feel how he feels. To say "oh, well you're just not well-adjusted enough" seems like a dick move. And to say no PWD ever does feel that way is just as bad as saying they all feel that way all the time. Life has too many gray areas, it's not black and white. Still, anti-ableist or not, the guy was funny, and I give him props for posting his review. And it's still crap that they guy dies in the end. lol.
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Post by harmonniousvision on Jun 3, 2016 15:00:22 GMT -5
Have to share... Born2Roll has been working on this awesome PSA in response to the hype surrounding Me Before You. Its a great msg and you should all watch it, and share it.
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Post by lucretia on Jun 3, 2016 16:17:29 GMT -5
I have a pretty large group of friends either with disabilities or who are parents of kids with disabilities. Without exception, they all have the same reaction to this movie. This is the latest PSA making the rounds:
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Post by lucretia on Jun 3, 2016 16:19:25 GMT -5
Have to share... Born2Roll has been working on this awesome PSA in response to the hype surrounding Me Before You. Its a great msg and you should all watch it, and share it. Hahahahahahaha!!!! Awesome!! I love when my friends out in the wild AND here intermingle. Great job!!!
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Post by matisse on Jun 3, 2016 18:26:27 GMT -5
I'm not sure I find it offensive yet... I feel like I should based on what everyone is saying. Stereotypes are never good to perpetuate.. BUT sometimes.. They exist for a reason. In the preview.. It makes the guy seem like a bad ass before he was hurt... Living life to its fullest and having worked to have everything go his way... And then to be a quad confined to a chair... A low functioning quad per what I see in the previews. I guess it's different when it's you.. BUT speaking from my own personal perspective.. The thought of being a low functioning quad after what I was.. I don't think I would handle that well at ALL... And honestly... I don't know if I could.. So maybe I'll take a look.. Maybe I need to meet some bad ass low functioning quads to gain some perspective.. Especially ones that made the most out of their lives and had a life to be admired pre injury. Every life has value.. BUT the higher you soar.. The harder the fall is when you do fall. IT takes an especially strong character to rise to those heights agin. Christopher Reeve is a pretty good example. He was seriously fucked as an SCI, I actually found him hard to watch. But he lived on and didn't kill himself. Larry Flynt might be another example, but I don't know his level or whether he's complete. Not sure if he still has a manual chair, but I always found it amusing that instead of a power chair he preferred to be pushed in a hospital-looking manual chair by a hot chick. I guess it's a statement he wanted to make. I don't think I agree with the premise of the book (which you appear to agree with) that there is a correlation between how high you fly physically pre-injury and how you cope afterward. I wonder if that's just another stereotype. It seems to me that the underlying strength of character is, instead, what controls. So IMO a guy who was as studly as people say this guy was portrayed to be, would not actually fall apart after injury....................he'd get a penile implant like Larry Flynt. This reminds me of the wheeler in Gattaca. I wasn't really bothered by his suicide because he just seemed like a depressed person from the start. I believe this to be a more accurate pre/post portrayal because he did not have the inner strength, even as an AB.
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Post by matisse on Jun 3, 2016 18:27:57 GMT -5
Way to go Born2Roll!!! Lap dances are on me.....
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jun 3, 2016 18:57:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 11:36:38 GMT -5
So before all this discussion started I was actually excited to see the movie, not for devotee purposes but simply because I read the book and thought it was a nice romance, again, it wasn't devvy to me. Then this discussion started about this movie here and even out and about on FB and stuff, so I got kind of discouraged how I could want to watch such trash, which is what lots of people think of it. Anyhow, last night I hung out with friends and my nurse friend tells me she watched it (she knows I am a dev) and she absolutely loved the movie she said. After we talked about the movie a little bit I came to the conclusion that I will watch it and I will be excited again because I really never thought anything else of it than just a romance. I never thought about the message the movie may send, the story it is, or the portrayal of disability. I am going to watch it because it is a romance with a disabled character and even though I am definitely always on the same boat as everyone here about having a real disabled actor play these roles...oh well, there are not exactly a whole lot of disabled actors out there, and my favorite dis actor doesn't really act anymore... So, I am going into this movie open minded and just hope it will be a nice romance. I think the problem nowadays is that people lots of times overthink everything and everyone gets offended by every little thing. It happens all the time and it is kind of frustrating.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 11:46:36 GMT -5
I think it is a little bit like "Fifty Shades Of Grey"...so many people got super upset with this book/movie because of what messages it could send to young girls or women...people were boycotting this movie and people are talking about boycotting "Me Before You" which I actually think is very silly... I hated the book "Fifty Shades...", it was so boring to me I could not even get through half of the first one, my friend on the other hand loved those books so much, she flew through them. The movie I thought was all right and again I tried to just see it for what it was, a fictional story.
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