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Post by freya on Jul 20, 2016 11:40:17 GMT -5
I've noticed that there's a lot of fear that PWD are not what they seem. I was interested in hearing stories from the Devs about your experiences with Fakers/Pretenders/Wannabes so I can better understand this fear. I have been very fortunate in that every guy I've met in person who claimed to be disabled online has actually been 100% what they said. Those I haven't met in person yet, but became friends with, also checked out. I've actually had more problems with AB guys online turning out to be total creeps (the stories I could tell...)
So, devs, what would you say are some typical warning signs that someone is a fake? What are some good ways to do an informal "backround check?" (I have my methods, but I'm curious as to how others go about it). Tell me your horror stories! I think since we have a few new members, it'd be a good topic to bring up.
As for the guys: How many of you have been asked if you're telling the truth about your disability? How do you prove yourself, especially if you can't meet people in the flesh? Do you get offended by someone having doubts, or see it as part of dealing with internet treachery? Do you have a harder time proving yourself on PD than you do, say, on typical online dating sites?
Annnnd go! *grabs popcorn*
*Edit* I can understand why some of this stuff wouldn't be good to discuss on the boards, but if you still want to share, feel free to PM me. I wanna know!
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Post by malibu on Jul 20, 2016 11:45:49 GMT -5
Maybe better to keep our background check method top secret? We must consider the fakes might be reading this LOL
But very good questions, where´s my popcorn.
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Post by devogirl on Jul 20, 2016 11:55:27 GMT -5
Red flags:
1. Lots of excuses for not having a photo and refusing to skype
2. Going on and on about his own disability, with lots of unusual details
Those are the main things but other than that we try not to list all the signs here because it helps the fakers get better at faking.
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Post by freya on Jul 20, 2016 11:55:37 GMT -5
Maybe better to keep our background check method top secret? We must consider the fakes might be reading this LOL But very good questions, where´s my popcorn. LOL true enough... but that's just it. I mean, what would possess a person to fake such a thing? I mean, the amount of effort it takes, knowing that devs even exist... how can there be so many of these weirdos? Like seriously, get a life. You wanna pretend, go for it, but do it privately on your own time. I've only got time for the 100% grade-A original product. |
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fallinginreverse
New Member
Posts: 48 
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by fallinginreverse on Jul 20, 2016 11:57:43 GMT -5
Someone would really claim to be a PWD and... not be a PWD...?  I wouldn't ever talk to someone from here anyway  |
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Post by devogirl on Jul 20, 2016 12:00:46 GMT -5
There are not that many in the world but they are drawn to devs because they want someone to admire their fake disability. There are also people who fake illnesses like cancer or who pretend to be veterans. It's a form of mental illness, a compulsive behavior. Being outed and shamed often doesn't stop them, unfortunately, they just move on to a new website.
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Post by freya on Jul 20, 2016 12:06:45 GMT -5
I don't know how this question will be taken, but are there fake devs too? Like people who just want to screw with a cripple's mind and lead them along, when they have no interest in disability at all? (Don't kill me for asking.) Wowwww, good question! I never even thought of that! |
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Post by malibu on Jul 20, 2016 12:11:17 GMT -5
I don't know how this question will be taken, but are there fake devs too? Like people who just want to screw with a cripple's mind and lead them along, when they have no interest in disability at all? (Don't kill me for asking.) I haven´t thought of that too but I guess IF, then it´s one case in a million. Because pretenders want to be admired for their "disability", there´s a reason to pretend, it´s not only to troll (as far as I understood). But if a dev pretends, I mean, than it´s just sick, no excuse. |
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fallinginreverse
New Member
Posts: 48
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by fallinginreverse on Jul 20, 2016 12:11:25 GMT -5
I don't know how this question will be taken, but are there fake devs too? Like people who just want to screw with a cripple's mind and lead them along, when they have no interest in disability at all? (Don't kill me for asking.) That seems more likely imo. Dudes are weird and this seems like the more common scenario. A 66 year old male probably started this thread for all we know. The ol' bait and switch. |
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Post by Emma on Jul 20, 2016 12:14:08 GMT -5
I mean, what would possess a person to fake such a thing? I mean, the amount of effort it takes, knowing that devs even exist... how can there be so many of these weirdos? Like seriously, get a life. Maybe things have changed but back when I was an inexperienced dev and chatting with people in amputee related yahoo groups and on yahoo messenger a huge amount of the people I interacted with were fakes. I'm not just assuming they were all fakes, many of them were actual confirmed fakes who either admitted it or who refused to prove they were real after developing a close relationship with a devs. I'm sure you are skeptical because you haven't experienced it but it was VERY common back then and I'm pretty its still happening. I have lots of stories and details of how things played out that I can share with you if you are interested. In general I think the fakes keep a low profile here because many of them have been outed and lots of others have been suspected and asked to prove themselves. There was a guy who I met on yahoo back in the early 2000's who then popped up here and participated for years - eventually it came out he wasn't real. He had created a female dev profile here as well as created another disabled guy profile here as well (i think somehow they were friends or something). I would be shocked if he wasn't back already hanging back. I'm not going to share more publicly but if you are really curious Freya, I'm happy to go into lots of detail with you privately. I'm glad you haven't come across fakes and hope you never do but please know that fakes are very real. I don't truly understand why people bother with it but lots do. I'm guessing for most its because they have BIID and are just craving some interaction where the other person sees them as disabled. |
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Post by devogirl on Jul 20, 2016 12:21:26 GMT -5
In my 10+ year experience with this board, fake devs are not a thing. There are devs who created deceptive profiles and some cases of catfishing but from what I could tell they were actually devs. The most common is gay male devs who pretend to be women to go after straight disabled guys. In the case Emma mentioned above, a faker here created a sock puppet girlfriend for himself but he didn't use that account to seduce other men, "she" just talked about how wonderful he was.
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Post by Hopper on Jul 20, 2016 12:24:13 GMT -5
I've never really been a fan of Pretenders, I think it was that Christmas song that put me off, the vowels were elongated to a painful degree that they'd make Morrisey wince more than he does passing a hot dog stand at a meat market. Wait.....that's not the pretenders we're on about here, is it? Yeah, people who pretend to have a disability, I'm not a fan. Heck, even those idiots who wear glasses without lenses annoy me and technically they could be considered as pretenders too. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 12:31:41 GMT -5
I just try to mess with them. But every now and then I get a truly shitty response. See screenshots  |
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Post by freya on Jul 20, 2016 12:31:54 GMT -5
fallinginreverse and @braced4impact See here, you gosh darn whippersnappers, stop disrupting my thread! I need to figure out the best methods of becoming a transvestite Devotee-Pretender and you delinquents are ruining it! Don't make me tell your mothers on you! *brandishes cane in an aggressive fashion* (okay, this post is derailing fast. lol)
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cooks
Full Member
Posts: 179
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Married/Domestic partnership
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Post by cooks on Jul 20, 2016 12:37:09 GMT -5
I don't know how this question will be taken, but are there fake devs too? Like people who just want to screw with a cripple's mind and lead them along, when they have no interest in disability at all? (Don't kill me for asking.) That's tricky. Unlike physical disabilities, there's no way to "prove" attraction or internal identification. Getting naked or forming long-term, meaningful relationships are good indications that the lady is "for real" but even then, ya never know. Catfishing is real. I once heard of a disabled guy (not me, not a friend) who got catfished by a dude for a few years. As shitty as that is, it's a bit unimaginable. By month 5, the lack of webcam should be raising some questions. I've never been asked for proof, probably because my thin arms and unusual posture are pretty damn authentic. Skype feels like a devs first line of defense, especially now that webcams are so common. I'd stop talking to anyone who refused to skype after a reasonable amount of time. |
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