sidney
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Posts: 239
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Post by sidney on Mar 14, 2008 17:11:13 GMT -5
One thing's for sure, it's not easy to spot a dev. It sure feels nice when a woman looks at me like I'm just a regular dude and gives me a nice smile though. Unfortunately, sometimes they'll try their damnedest not even to make eye contact. Or, even worse, I'll get that look of pity, like a "What a waste" kind of look. I hate that one. Oh well, I guess it's all part of the deal.
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Post by BA on Mar 14, 2008 17:52:30 GMT -5
I have a tendency to 'ignore' and play it cool. It does not serve my purpose. I have to correct this behavior.
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Post by natasha on Mar 16, 2008 16:01:50 GMT -5
I'm with Charlene, if I see a wheeler that I like I go for it in the same way I will try to meet any other guy...Im not obvious because I will never start the conversation like: " hello, I'm a Dev, you're a wheeler, you want to hook up???" lol (and believe me or not some dev girls say these things to guys and of course scare the hell out of them!!)..  , I just smile and play the whole flirting scene then I look for the chance to talk to him and see what happens...Ill talk about regular things and just use my charm! lol.... So far it works just fine....  |
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Post by Ouch on Mar 16, 2008 20:07:12 GMT -5
i am definitely with the other girls here, i think it would be hard to tell with me. i also like the guy to do all the work as well, but it seems like most guys are really shy. this kid who sits next to me in one of my classes i know likes me (or maybe i am just delusional lol), it always seems like he's gonna say something to me, but then doesn't. he only talks like right before a test or something like that. in my world, if any guy liked me, he'd just start talking to me. it's seems like older men are better at this, maybe b/c (in theory at least) they have more experience. older guys have no problems approaching me...now if only i can find a wicked rich one who doesn't make me sign a pre-nup... ...and I was just about to be straightforward until I read the last line!  |
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Post by devogirl on Mar 16, 2008 21:00:35 GMT -5
You guys are forgetting how very rare this is. Think about it: this is just about the only message board for female devotees (in English) on the internet. We have about 400 members, probably close to half are wheeler guys, and some are multiple accounts by the same person. Only 200 female devs on the entire internet have joined this site. There are fan sites TV shows that were canceled years ago that have way more members than we do.  Your chances of running across a self-identified, out of the closet devotee woman are incredibly small. BUT that doesn't mean lots of non-dev women won't find you attractive, flirt, or want to date you. On the other hand, I found that once I stopped being so shy and started chatting up the wheeler guys, it was much easier to find dates and I no longer felt like they were unattainable. And it's nice to know that my flirty smile on the street might have been appreciated. I'm betting that unless a guy totally has his head up his ass, he can tell the difference between lust and pity.  |
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Post by Pony on Mar 17, 2008 15:08:56 GMT -5
Here's my quick take!! Honestly, there's NO particular "Dev look". I've had a million different 'little waves', 'smiles', 'stares', even kisses. That's right, I've had girls kiss me out of the blue. Actually, I'm sure alcohol had a lot to do with it, but I've always chalked it up to 'stirring of emotions' in females. Guys are less prone to this, I think. Actually, a lot of dudes think if you can't get up there and ride like a cowboy, you're just a fraction of a man. Whereas girls, sometimes, will see us as strong, manly for dealing with this life, and still living productive, happy, purpose-filled life.
Devo is right...veryyyy few "Devs" out there. So, our job is to get out there and convert a few. AMEN!!
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Post by devogirl on Mar 17, 2008 15:14:37 GMT -5
Right on Tony, that's exactly what I was trying to say! Get out there and convert, ha ha. |
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Post by matisse on Mar 17, 2008 22:08:22 GMT -5
You guys are forgetting how very rare this is. Think about it: this is just about the only message board for female devotees (in English) on the internet. We have about 400 members, probably close to half are wheeler guys, and some are multiple accounts by the same person. Only 200 female devs on the entire internet have joined this site. There are fan sites TV shows that were canceled years ago that have way more members than we do. Rare for the dev comfortable enough to recognize and accept her own feelings, sure. But many will never get to that stage. I've been out of the game for over half my life, but it seems to me if a guy wants to meet a dev (whether she knows she's a dev or not), it's pretty straightforward. Like I keep saying, head to the wheeler sporting events. And volunteer at a rehab center once or twice per month. It seems most sci men have stories of fun times with nurses. Has anyone tried either of these?!!??!!??! I seem to keep repeating this over and over, so either no one's trying it or maybe some have tried and there was no luck? Sitting at the computer or hoping for the random meeting at Border's/Starbucks/etc. doesn't seem like it's likely to yield much. |
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Post by E on Mar 18, 2008 8:22:28 GMT -5
I did this same analysis on the A-Team chat forum to prove that odds are pretty good we'd all run into each other eventually, and they called me a nerd.  Being called a nerd by A-Team fans cuts pretty deeply. This made me laugh... a lot. You're awesome, Jason. |
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Post by devogirl on Mar 18, 2008 10:27:29 GMT -5
That is pretty funny. But even if you're just joking, I feel compelled to pedantically point out that the numbers of SCI men and devo women function independently. Are you really suggesting there is one dev for every SCI? There is no scientific way to determine the number of dev women in the world or even in the US, because we don't self-identify (except here). You might estimate based on the general occurrence of all kinds of fetishes or paraphilias in the population, a number that is already quite small. But all of this energy is better put towards the activities Matisse suggests.
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Post by Triassic on Mar 18, 2008 10:32:42 GMT -5
my own rough statistical analysis jibes pretty well with jason's; devs are probably about one in a thousand.
another interesting question is this; what percentage of AB women DO NOT CARE if a potential mate is disabled? that is, it simply isnt a factor one way or another. 5%? 10? jason, i would assume your wife is one of these.
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Post by matisse on Mar 18, 2008 11:14:02 GMT -5
I feel compelled to pedantically point out that the numbers of SCI men and devo women function independently. Are you really suggesting there is one dev for every SCI? There is no scientific way to determine the number of dev women in the world or even in the US, because we don't self-identify (except here). You might estimate based on the general occurrence of all kinds of fetishes or paraphilias in the population, a number that is already quite small. LOL, the A-Team group would call you a nerd too...... You have to admit though, that 1/1341 sounds pretty reasonable for a relatively "rare" thing such as a dev. Might even be a higher occurrence than that. |
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Post by charlene on Mar 18, 2008 11:26:44 GMT -5
I know about a german dating site for disabled folks where the ration disabled-dev is almost 1:1. And of course the disabled peeps are scared because they think the devs are taking over the site and of course the bad, bad devs only try to get off on their disability... Scary! |
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Post by mrjefffurz on Mar 18, 2008 15:24:55 GMT -5
ti was the perceived encounter with a then "mythical" female dev that led me to this site (tanx again, loverly miss absinthe)...that is 1 of a definite 3 encounters i have had...i dont count the "special sponge bath by the hot redheaded student nurse" in the hospital since she never actually saw me in my chair...these are 3 experiences in which the grrlz approached me, showed a particular interest above & beyond what i typically receive, may be aberations from what i have read here from the grrlz describing how they react when they bump into one of us dudes...and since i am generally oblivious to all but the most overt displays of interest it would be fair to say ive ran into a bunch more,,,what i wish i knew was how many of the women who ive had a similar amount of interest shown and/or actual physical contact of various levels of the intimate variety (ie. "misunderstanding" my use of the word "kismet" and thinking i said "kiss me" and doing so, up to a dash across the bar to check me for tonsils the 2nd time she saw me) were from grrls whom i never saw any devness but were and women who were simply attracted to jeff the man rather than jeff the dis man...
as for a statistical view of women, in general...using my personal experience to come up with a number,,,id estimate that no more than 2% of the overall female population are able to see a dis man as someone they might be interested in knowing beyond a friends only type of relationship....of course i could be totally of base but i dont think so...
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Post by Triassic on Mar 19, 2008 2:38:04 GMT -5
eh...well, if that's been your experience fubb, i can't argue. but it hasn't been mine. i don't really look on it as 'shallowness' to have physical standards. i have them myself; so i'd be a complete hypocrite to dunn others for having them too.
personally, i think most women DO INDEED have make-or-break physical standards. but the percentage of men who 'pass inspection' is fairly high(they mostly want a friendly-looking, even-featured guy, fairly tall, reasonably well-built-or super tall and thin) he doesn't have to be blindingly handsome.
but if he's a bit too short, or fat, or skinny, or funny-looking...forget it.
i also think women TELL PEOPLE(and maybe tell themselves) that they don't care about looks, because they think that's what they're supposed to say. but if you overhear 'girl talk' you'll know that isnt necessarily the case.
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, I just smile and play the whole flirting scene then I look for the chance to talk to him and see what happens...Ill talk about regular things and just use my charm! lol.... So far it works just fine.... 
Being called a nerd by A-Team fans cuts pretty deeply.