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Post by mona on Apr 16, 2018 15:43:02 GMT -5
djj8891, where have you read that devs don't want to have sex with pwds?
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djj8891
Junior Member
29 SCI quadriplegic
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by djj8891 on Apr 16, 2018 16:02:49 GMT -5
I seem to keep ending up looking like an ass. I’m really sorry I swore I thought I read that late last night but I guess I was wrong because I went through the whole thread and couldn’t find it. SORRY!
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Post by PretzelTwist on Apr 16, 2018 16:16:54 GMT -5
I seem to keep ending up looking like an ass. I’m really sorry I swore I thought I read that late last night but I guess I was wrong because I went through the whole thread and couldn’t find it. SORRY! this is legit funny. def lightened my mood a bit. lols
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djj8891
Junior Member
29 SCI quadriplegic
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by djj8891 on Apr 16, 2018 19:42:12 GMT -5
this is legit funny. def lightened my mood a bit. lols [ Very relieved that you Found it funny instead of getting mad. It makes me happy to know i Had a positive effect on your mood!
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Post by PretzelTwist on Apr 16, 2018 19:57:55 GMT -5
Very relieved that you Found it funny instead of getting mad. It makes me happy to know i Had a positive effect on your mood! lol can't be too uptight in these parts. easily offended is def not the way to go.
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Post by lucretia on Apr 16, 2018 20:36:00 GMT -5
I think there are devs who are turned on by wheelers but still don't necessarily want to date (or have sex).
There are also those of us who are married or otherwise attached (some of us to wheelers, others not) who still enjoy discussion with both devs and PWD but aren't looking for any kind of relationship.
Then of course there are single/looking devs who would definitely be up for sex and/or relationship.
Like TC, I definitely have sex with my husband (when he's around, long story). LOL But I also went through a long period of time after I first joined (about six years) when I only wanted to talk about and explore this dev thing, but had zero desire to actually meet or date anyone. *shrug*
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djj8891
Junior Member
29 SCI quadriplegic
Posts: 63
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by djj8891 on Apr 16, 2018 22:31:18 GMT -5
Very relieved that you Found it funny instead of getting mad. It makes me happy to know i Had a positive effect on your mood! lol can't be too uptight in these parts. easily offended is def not the way to go. You'd be surprised lol
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Post by mona on Apr 18, 2018 15:27:42 GMT -5
I seem to keep ending up looking like an ass. I’m really sorry I swore I thought I read that late last night but I guess I was wrong because I went through the whole thread and couldn’t find it. SORRY! Don't worry. I think you got one of my posts wrong (it's quite at the beginning). I said there, I want a wheeler in my life but not for a sexual relationship. The reason is I'm married (to an AB guy). I didn't clarify this in my post, I guess I thought everyone knew already 😉. I had a relationship with a PWD before him but it didn't work out for a many of reasons. When I was looking for a partner a long time ago (I'm 38 now) on a dating website for disabled and nondisabled people here in Germany, it was pretty clearly expressed that devotees were not wanted there. All I found on the internet about devs back then, were descriptions of devotees that I couldn't really identify with (stalkers, sex offenders, etc.). One day, I had met my disabled boy-friend at a party. I had already tried to flirt with pwds at bars or clubs before but found it really hard because they're obviously not used to it. But that's another story. Anyways, after the party, we eventually became a couple. I never told him I was a dev, though. Partly, because I didn't really know that concept and because I just did not identify as a dev. Also, I felt I was in love with HIM, and his disability seemed a big part of his personality but not ALL I found attractive about him. After our break-up, the bad experiences on online-websites regarding devs, and the difficulties to find interesting PWDs out in the wild, I just wanted to be normal and fall in love with a "normal" guy. I secretely said good-bye to my interest in wheelers or other disabled men. I thought it was way too strange to handle. And I also assumed that if I ever told a PWD that his disability actually is beautiful to me, he would think that I'm crazy or sick. I did fall in love with an AB man. Having a disabled body is not the first thing that I require from my partner (I know how weird that sounds ...). It is, after all, a superficial thing, somehow (at least, that's what I'm telling myself). But there is also a very deep, unfulfilled longing. It is there, no matter how great my husband is. And I have repressed it for a long time. I do not know for sure whether a disabled friend would quench that thirst. But I guess it would be worth the try. If you have more questions djj8891, just ask. I hope everything was clear - my English is still improving. ☺
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Post by Sir Paul on Apr 18, 2018 20:58:56 GMT -5
I don't think that I've ever been approached by a (sober) woman in public with romantic type interest. I'm not your prototypical wheeler though. There's a lot to process here. Maybe by the time they work up the courage to say hello I've rolled past them. I need a flag or beacon of some sort that signifies my desire to be approached.
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Post by mona on Apr 19, 2018 1:28:22 GMT -5
I'm not your prototypical wheeler though. Well, who is?
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Post by epiceneca on Apr 19, 2018 6:55:01 GMT -5
I'm only half joking here, but everyone asks me if I play wheelchair basketball, so its gotta be pretty popular. Maybe start going to some of the games lol
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Post by Sir Paul on Apr 19, 2018 15:11:53 GMT -5
This guy
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davidwheeler
New Member
Portuguese quad guy looking to meet other guys
Posts: 8
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by davidwheeler on Apr 19, 2018 15:28:32 GMT -5
You don´t need to look anymore! I'm here! Hey Guys and Gals, I'm wondering where anyone meets the wheeler of their dreams? I've been moderately successful with Craigslist posts but that's too infrequent for me. Any tips? Sites or otherwise? Really curious as to what works and what doesn't. Young gay male here. Thanks! esp_tm (on KIK)
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furby89
New Member
Enjoy life and be happy :)
Posts: 49
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by furby89 on Jun 5, 2018 11:22:22 GMT -5
I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life. Yes, I am with you on this one. This would be the best, most natural scenario for me too. But the thing is, here where I live, chances to meet an alien on the street are far greater then to meet a wheeler. And one more thing... It makes "dev issue" harder to present, don't you think?! I mean, obviously, you don't approach guy, say "Hey, you are wheeler, I am dev, let's hang out together and make friends", but you leave it for later. But does that seem right? Is it fair? Doesn't he deserve to know? I am asking these questions because I've been there, done that and haven't felt comfortable with my "secret". I know it is hard but I would let him know your devness. When the wheeler isn't formiliar with the term, maybe you have to explain it to him in a gentle way, being afraid you don't wanna loose him because he's so cute in your eyes. It's similar to a reply from you before in a post "I would rather live with rejection, then with regret that I haven't tried." So it's risky to tell him and get rejected because not anyone can cope with the thoughts and feelings of a Dev, but i think it's better telling the truth on an early stage than later. I wouldn't keep "being a Dev" as your secret, isn't it the same way around being with a B, sleeping together and not tell him that you actually being a Dev and he can make any efforts, it doesn't count to you as much as being together with a wheeler. So it's better to be honest and letting him to know that fact. Otherwise you always have to feel guilty not being honest to him and you wouldn't ever know, if he would love you as you really are. I think if you wanna test if he's the right one to you, you have to go on your deepest vulnerable to him even if it's hard to you. Otherwise you'll never found out if he really loves you for what YOU are. Than you really can say your "Dev dream" comes true. It's likely similar to your fairytale dreams then--> And two souls will come together whose love is like a merger.
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Post by Mets on Jun 14, 2018 19:01:14 GMT -5
Wheelerville, New York .... might be a good place to start 😊 Hold up, there’s a village of wheelers in my home state and I’ve never even seen it I’m feeling a day-trip coming soon
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