esp_tm
Junior Member
anyone want to chat? - hit me up at esp_tm on KIK
Posts: 82 
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by esp_tm on Feb 14, 2018 5:06:55 GMT -5
Hey Guys and Gals,
I'm wondering where anyone meets the wheeler of their dreams?
I've been moderately successful with Craigslist posts but that's too infrequent for me.
Any tips? Sites or otherwise?
Really curious as to what works and what doesn't.
Young gay male here.
Thanks!
esp_tm (on KIK)
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Post by mona on Feb 14, 2018 5:22:00 GMT -5
That good old question.
Usually people here recommend going to wheelchair sport events.
There have also been endless discussions here about dating sites.
I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life.
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Post by missparkle on Feb 14, 2018 7:22:32 GMT -5
I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life. Yes, I am with you on this one. This would be the best, most natural scenario for me too. But the thing is, here where I live, chances to meet an alien on the street are far greater then to meet a wheeler. And one more thing... It makes "dev issue" harder to present, don't you think?! I mean, obviously, you don't approach guy, say "Hey, you are wheeler, I am dev, let's hang out together and make friends", but you leave it for later. But does that seem right? Is it fair? Doesn't he deserve to know? I am asking these questions because I've been there, done that and haven't felt comfortable with my "secret". |
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Post by mona on Feb 14, 2018 8:26:25 GMT -5
missparkle, I guess it would be appropriate to bring up my devness after the second or third time we meet and be clear that all I'm looking for is friendship and an open exchange. But how and when exactly would depend of the situation.
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el_steveo
Junior Member
Posts: 71
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by el_steveo on Feb 15, 2018 19:28:33 GMT -5
That good old question. Usually people here recommend going to wheelchair sport events. There have also been endless discussions here about dating sites. I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life. Ain't happening. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2018 19:31:57 GMT -5
That good old question. Usually people here recommend going to wheelchair sport events. There have also been endless discussions here about dating sites. I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life. Ain't happening. Why not? |
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Post by matisse on Feb 15, 2018 20:02:00 GMT -5
Yeah, why not? Ok if you're talking about a one-time random thing, then yes that's not likely. But if you frequent a coffee shop, bookstore, grocery store, etc., and so does a wheeler, you'll can eventually recognize each other and meet. Now that I am retired, I see that I have a tendency to go back regularly to certain restaurants, theaters, grocery stores, etc. A lot of people recognize me (though not so much vice-versa). If devs frequent those same places and saw me and I wasn't obviously married, their lusticity would overcome them, and at some point, they would talk with me. |
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el_steveo
Junior Member
Posts: 71
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by el_steveo on Feb 15, 2018 20:05:59 GMT -5
99% of men don't approach women like that. they either aren't confident enough or don't want to feel like a creep. don't get me wrong. I would LOVE if a dev came up to me in a grocery store or library. but, they aren't likely to do it for the same reasons above. |
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Post by mona on Feb 16, 2018 1:03:33 GMT -5
99% of men don't approach women like that. they either aren't confident enough or don't want to feel like a creep. don't get me wrong. I would LOVE if a dev came up to me in a grocery store or library. but, they aren't likely to do it for the same reasons above. Of course it would be me who makes the first step. It wouldn't be the first time and I'm sure I could find an uncreepy way to handle that. Actually, I've got someone in mind who lives in my neighborhood. We buy in the same stores and have coffee at the same places. But funnily, since I'm here on PD and have become comfortable with being a dev and don't get panic every time a wheeler comes nearer than five metres, I haven't seen him anymore. I'm sure I will as soon as the winter is over. |
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Post by wonk on Feb 16, 2018 1:37:50 GMT -5
Go to a pub, go to where people are. Especially where people and alcohol are. I don't even try any more, I am getting too old an boring. However I go and see my cousins band play in my town every 6 weeks or so. 3 times in the last year I have had girls do the "Pash and dash". The last time was funny, as she jumped on my lap, stuck her tongue down my throat, then jumped up and as she was about 20 feet from me yelled "call me!" I am sure I sounded pathetic as I yelled back "but I don't know your number" I have seen her before, but have no idea of her name, and I have not seen her since.  |
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Post by mona on Feb 16, 2018 2:08:56 GMT -5
as she jumped on my lap, stuck her tongue down my throat, then jumped up and as she was about 20 feet from me yelled "call me!" Yeah, when I wrote "uncreepy way" to approach an unknown wheeler, I thought of something like that. |
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Post by wonk on Feb 16, 2018 2:14:02 GMT -5
as she jumped on my lap, stuck her tongue down my throat, then jumped up and as she was about 20 feet from me yelled "call me!" Yeah, when I wrote "uncreepy way" to approach an unknown wheeler, I thought of something like that. The cuter the girl the less creepy is the behaviour lol |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 6:58:56 GMT -5
Yeah, when I wrote "uncreepy way" to approach an unknown wheeler, I thought of something like that. The cuter the girl the less creepy is the behaviour lol Amen to that |
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Post by lisa on Feb 16, 2018 17:47:40 GMT -5
I kind of wish to meet a wheeler accidentally at a neutral place (café, library, etc.) and just become friends with him as I would with any other guy that I would like to know better. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship but I kind of want a wheeler in my life. Yes, I am with you on this one. This would be the best, most natural scenario for me too. But the thing is, here where I live, chances to meet an alien on the street are far greater then to meet a wheeler. And one more thing... It makes "dev issue" harder to present, don't you think?! I mean, obviously, you don't approach guy, say "Hey, you are wheeler, I am dev, let's hang out together and make friends", but you leave it for later. But does that seem right? Is it fair? Doesn't he deserve to know? I am asking these questions because I've been there, done that and haven't felt comfortable with my "secret". I've been facing the same problems (not necessarily with a wheeler, but with disabled friends). Yes, I do feel a certain need to have disabled people in my life. (That sounds kind of creepy...) And there are a few (very few) who don't know that I'm a dev and who I've met through mutual friends. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship with them (my imagination might be...), but somehow I have a bad consciousness for not telling them. Since we're friends and all. Sometimes I think I would feel much better if they knew. But then I'm not sure about how they would react (because I don't know them well when it comes to sexual topics, obviously), and whether the friendship would change for the worse. So I never got to speak about it in front of them. Maybe someday. |
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Post by mona on Feb 17, 2018 5:18:47 GMT -5
lisa, I don't think you should have a guilty conscience for not telling them. They don't tell you about their sexual desires, either. As an analogy: I don't expect other women to tell me that they are lesbians. If I have antennas for that, I will find out by myself but it's not their responsibility to bring it up. Nor would I have the right to feel betrayed or something because they didn't tell me. As long as you have a normal friendly relationship with them and you don't cross any lines, your sexuality is your personal thing. In my case, it would be different, I guess, because that wheeler would be some help for me to handle my devness. He would have to be ok with being some kind of substitute for an unfulfilled desire. Maybe I could be the same for him, somehow. It's a tricky thing and I am not sure whether I would be able to deal with that without remorse. But I believe I have to give it a try.
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