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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2022 19:45:31 GMT -5
This actually happened to me a few years ago when I was still in highschool. I was rolling home one day after school and this random dude stopped me. He asked if he could pray for me and I reluctantly said sure even though I just wanted to get home. When he was done with his prayer, he told me to stand up. I felt really uncomfortable when he asked me to do that. I awkwardly told him I can’t before rolling away.
I honestly don’t mind if someone wants to pray for me if I think they have good intentions. But telling me to do something after praying for me that I physically cannot do like standing up as if they “healed” me fully somehow is dumb and insulting. I always remember that moment now whenever someone asks if they could pray for me.
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Post by someonerandom on Sept 27, 2022 20:05:31 GMT -5
Wow, I actually had my first “can I pray for you” experience a few months ago. I was at the park exercising, and in my peripheral I could see a man grinning widely and approaching me. It is instinctual for me to be repulsed when I see them coming to me, because I always know it’s going to be some bullshit because I’m in a wheelchair. I always try to act uninterested, but they always persist. These fuckers are so predictable.
The man got my attention, with his big stupid grin and he had his woman next to him. I swear she looked pre-embarassed. He asked if he could pray for me, and I said: “Ew, what the fuck, no!” I kept pushing by.
I saw him a few moments later after I had drank from the water fountain, and he was still grinning at me. I fucking hate Christianity.
I had another experience with a Christian trying to “help” me without my consent last week, and she caught an attitude after I said “no thank you” politely and then raised my voice the second time when she kept touching my shit and grinning at me. She said: “bless you anyway” and walked off muttering under her breath. Sorry I couldn’t help you get your heaven points! Christian bastard.
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Post by someonerandom on Sept 27, 2022 23:02:28 GMT -5
Lol wow you should just say something like, how do you think I got in this chair? The big man upstairs and I are NOT friends. Nah, I got crippled my own self drinking alcohol. Didn’t need the lord’s help for that one lol.
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Post by Amee on Sept 28, 2022 1:47:27 GMT -5
I've never experienced the praying with my boyfriend (and not sure if he has, not that many in-your-face Christians in Europe). But we had a somewhat similar encounter a few months ago. We were taking the subway together (it was quite crowded) and when we got off at our stop, my boyfriend went ahead. I was a couple of steps behind him, when a (sort of elderly) lady came up to me in the crowd and very carefully and politely said "Excuse me". I expected that she needed something, so I stopped and said "Yes?" She came really close (it was crowded and she spoke very softly, so that was only a little bit weird) and with a sad expression on her face, she asked, "Was it an accident?" I didn't immediately make the connection to my boyfriend, who was already a couple of meters away at this point, so I just looked at her confused. She nodded in his direction and then it clicked and immediately I had to laugh internally, thinking of PD and this thread. I said yes and then she apologized for being intrusive and handed me a pamphlet and asked me, if she could give this to me, because "Maybe it helps". It was a pamphlet about some weird alternative healing stuff.
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ruetheday
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Post by ruetheday on Sept 28, 2022 15:27:15 GMT -5
I'm a liberal and weird religious person, specifically Christian. This stuff happens to me periodically. Oftentimes I'm told, or it's implied, that losing my hand is punishment for some moral defect, being a bad person, or lacking faith. I guess God doesn't let bad things happen to good people, or whatever. People keep trying to save my soul, or insist that if I pray hard enough, my limb will grow back, like I'm some kind of damned lizard.
Honestly, at this point, if I wake up and all of a sudden there's a brand new spanking hand there, I'm going to freak the fuck out. There will be screaming.
It's disrespectful and annoying. I'm sorry to see that other people have to go through it. Having a disability doesn't mean that I'm broken or incomplete. It also doesn't mean that I'm incapable of finding happiness, or forging meaning from life.
As a religious person, I'm happy to talk religion, either with like-minded people, or as a respectful exchange between diverse perspectives. I don't want to be a damned pariah in someone else's condescendingly pious and self-congratulatory fantasy, though.
Good topic.
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Post by outofsight on Sept 28, 2022 15:44:21 GMT -5
As both a Christian and a disabled person with mobility stuff, I would still find it annoying if a complete stranger would stop me on a day when I need to use my walking aids, and ask me if they can pray for me. Mostly because when I am okay and out and about, I usually feel happy and it would ruin my moood LoL. As for praying for others, when I feel called to do that, I just go ahead and do it, without announcing it to anyone. But: if it was a fellow Christian from the congregation where I go to, and they would ask me if they can pray for me, that would be okay with me because we already know each other and so I trust them to tell them if something hurts, whether physically or emotionally. Thanks for this topic, Josh
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2022 6:41:23 GMT -5
Wow, I actually had my first “can I pray for you” experience a few months ago. [...] I saw him a few moments later after I had drank from the water fountain, and he was still grinning at me. I fucking hate Christianity. I had another experience with a Christian trying to “help” me without my consent last week [...] She said: “bless you anyway” and walked off muttering under her breath. Sorry I couldn’t help you get your heaven points! Christian bastard. Being a Christian myself, I certainly don't want to put myself in the fire line ... but I have to agree with the majority of what you wrote. I have thought about this and certainly I cannot explain it in a satisfactory way, let alone speak for somebody else. But I tend to think that there are people that just tend to go over the top by nature and need to show everyboy what they do, in order for them to feel beeter or like they have saved the world (yet again).
But I'd say that this has much more to do with their own personality than with Christianity or any other religion. I mean... they can pray all they want but... let's be honest... why does everybody need know? Praying should be something personal and it's a different game when someone asks you for it and when you are "forced" to accept it.
And... what exactly are they praying for? Comfort for the PWD? Money for the PWD? Cure for the PWD? Salvation for the PWD? Their own benefit?. Plus... I think everybody can make a mistake and approach somebody in an "awkward" way, but at some point people should know "no thank you" means "no thank you". Therefore they don't need to get upset because of a negative.
The "label" doesn't make the person, but I definitely get your point.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2022 7:02:07 GMT -5
Oftentimes I'm told, or it's implied, that losing my hand is punishment for some moral defect, being a bad person, or lacking faith. I guess God doesn't let bad things happen to good people, or whatever [...]It's disrespectful and annoying. I'm sorry to see that other people have to go through it. Having a disability doesn't mean that I'm broken or incomplete. It also doesn't mean that I'm incapable of finding happiness, or forging meaning from life. That's weird man... specially in a Christian community. I mean... we should understand that a lot of things we do have consequences... and I mean "we" as a whole, because I can also suffer the consecuences from somebody else's bad behaviour or choices. But I completely disagree with what you've been told about being a bad person or lacking of faith. If that was so, I'd wonder why there are good Christian people with all sorts of disabilities and serial killers with "perfect" bodies and the best health you could imagine. That doesn't make any sense.
I like your attitude and I fully agree with "Having a disability doesn't mean that I'm broken or incomplete. It also doesn't mean that I'm incapable of finding happiness, or forging meaning from life". That's something that might influence me in my devness. Since I can remember, I've always had contact to PWDs and appart from maybe one exception... I've only gotten positive vibes from all of them... never this "oh, why is life sooo hard" kinda thing that I constantly hear from AB people. I feel like I can be more open about everything with a PWD than with ABs.
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Post by Dr. BiPAP Sachin on Oct 1, 2022 13:16:39 GMT -5
Wow, I actually had my first “can I pray for you” experience a few months ago. I was at the park exercising, and in my peripheral I could see a man grinning widely and approaching me. It is instinctual for me to be repulsed when I see them coming to me, because I always know it’s going to be some bullshit because I’m in a wheelchair. I always try to act uninterested, but they always persist. These fuckers are so predictable. The man got my attention, with his big stupid grin and he had his woman next to him. I swear she looked pre-embarassed. He asked if he could pray for me, and I said: “Ew, what the fuck, no!” I kept pushing by. I saw him a few moments later after I had drank from the water fountain, and he was still grinning at me. I fucking hate Christianity. I had another experience with a Christian trying to “help” me without my consent last week, and she caught an attitude after I said “no thank you” politely and then raised my voice the second time when she kept touching my shit and grinning at me. She said: “bless you anyway” and walked off muttering under her breath. Sorry I couldn’t help you get your heaven points! Christian bastard. Jesus be like, "Wth! Father, don't forgive these crazy-ass mofos."
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patrick412
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Post by patrick412 on Oct 2, 2022 14:21:59 GMT -5
These moments ARE kind of awkward. Personally, I’m sort of religious. Ever since my stroke in 2017, my faith has been really hurting. If someone wants to pray for me, I let. Prayers don’t hurt anyone. I don’t know if they’re listened to, but it’s nice to have someone try.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2022 18:18:27 GMT -5
These moments ARE kind of awkward. Personally, I’m sort of religious. Ever since my stroke in 2017, my faith has been really hurting. If someone wants to pray for me, I let. Prayers don’t hurt anyone. I don’t know if they’re listened to, but it’s nice to have someone try. I think, it's human nature to feel down after such a life changing event. I mean... as of now, it's "easy" for me to at least try to lift up someone else's spirit. But if should get through that experience myself, I have no doubt... I'd have a hard time, trying not to lose my faith. It would take a lot effort for me to see the purpose on that or think that "that" would be an opportunity to grow up in my faith. I'm not saying I give already up (in advance), I'm only conscious of my human nature.
I think, if my family prays for me, it would be fine but... if someone I don't know approaches me "just" to tell me, he/she'll pray for me without me knowing what their goal or them knowing what do I need... it would feel weird. They might pray for me to be healed when I rather would wish to grow stronger in my faith.
I agree with you, prayers don't hurt anyone. But the way people approach you to offer/tell you that, should also feel comforting to you and not like they want to have a personal benefit out of it.
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Post by atlwheelin on Oct 2, 2022 18:41:42 GMT -5
These moments ARE kind of awkward. Personally, I’m sort of religious. Ever since my stroke in 2017, my faith has been really hurting. If someone wants to pray for me, I let. Prayers don’t hurt anyone. I don’t know if they’re listened to, but it’s nice to have someone try. I’m a preachers kid, and I haven’t ever heard a thing back. I don’t just attribute good or bad things in life to God’s will. It’s a big part of the reason I’m no longer religious. That’s a cop out explanation to me when the rhetoric is spewed in my direction. I’m at a point in life now to where I need to physically see things to believe in them. The basis of Christianity faith is believing in the things you cannot see or do not have an explanation for. But much the same, I accept the thoughts and prayers when offered in kind, and hand them out when it’s appropriate.
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abqman
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Post by abqman on Dec 18, 2023 17:58:18 GMT -5
Oftentimes I'm told, or it's implied, that losing my hand is punishment for some moral defect, being a bad person, or lacking faith. If God does to punish someone, he is no God to me. What could you have done to deserve that?
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abqman
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Post by abqman on Dec 18, 2023 18:01:28 GMT -5
Just my personal opinion, but I think it's rude for a stranger to ask if they can pray for you. 1) why do you need to announce it and make a show of it? If you want to pray for someone, then just pray for them silently to yourself or during your own personal prayer time. Asking if they "can" does kind of make it seem selfish and a bit of a show to me 2) religion is a person's own personal business and I do find it rude when a person just assumes that I would even want any part of it. I'm not religious at all, and I don't like strangers pushing their religious stuff onto me, even if it's "well intentioned". I have no problem with them doing their own thing in their own personal life 3) saying "you're going to walk again very soon" is just incredibly offensive and inappropriate Reading your post I actually commend you on being so nice and patient about this, because what you experienced is really uncool. I think it is perfectly reasonable to say "no thanks, I'm not religious" or "nope, I'm good", etc etc. When someone says they are praying for me I say why? If you believe this prayer stuff works pray for something more important, like the end of hunger, world peace, or child bone cancer. Leave me out of your religious fanaticism.
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mrnobody
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Post by mrnobody on Dec 25, 2023 3:21:05 GMT -5
My last interaction was a couple years ago when a woman says to me "jesus loves you and im praying for you". I said thank you but i dont believe in god and she responds with "that doesnt matter hes still loves you". I rolled my eyes and kept going. I guess only her delusional beliefs matter.
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