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Post by Pony on May 9, 2018 18:19:35 GMT -5
I've been trying to get my beach interested in this....Treasure Island is a little to the south of me. beach mat for chairs... |
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Post by Pony on May 10, 2018 12:27:24 GMT -5
Chapter 2- The Fight
Fortunately, in those early days, I kept myself afloat with the hope that I could overcome all of this. I still believed that I would walk out of that nightmare on my own two feet. If I would have known that my fate would be something far different than that, I’m not sure how far I would have fallen mentally and spiritually. I’m not sure if I could’ve made it.
As I lay in the hospital during those first two weeks, things became even worse. I was forced to battle off a severe case of pneumonia that could’ve killed me. The illness was so bad that it caused sores to develop in my throat, making eating and breathing extremely difficult. With each swallow, I could feel the wounds opening up like budding, infected flowers. For many, the pneumonia would’ve been the final straw. It would have killed them. But not for me. Somehow, through it all, I kept some glimmer of hope and strength alive.
I remember a song coming on my small radio beside my bed. It was a Kansas track off their new album. I’d always loved this band since first hearing them as I worked as a pizza maker in high school. The song, Hold On, seemed to speak to me in this dangerous moment. The lyric was Look in the mirror and tell me just what you see/what have the years of your life taught you to be?/innocence dying in so many ways/things that you dream of are lost/lost in the haze. Hold on, baby, hold on/‘cause you’re closer than you think/and you’re standing on the brink/hold on, baby, hold on/‘cause there’s something on the way/your tomorrow’s not the same as today.
There had never been a more timely song. And I did hold on to that lyric each day.
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Post by lizzy on May 10, 2018 14:31:58 GMT -5
Is that a chapter from your book Pony ? |
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Post by Pony on May 10, 2018 15:37:46 GMT -5
Yup, sure is, Lizzy!  I recorded that song last year with my guitar player. |
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Post by lizzy on May 10, 2018 17:27:44 GMT -5
Cool!!! I vaguely remember Kansas, but on the other hand I might have been too young  Seriously, a timely song. I love your writing Pony |
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Post by Pony on May 10, 2018 19:11:52 GMT -5
Ahhhh, thanks so much, Lizzy! Yahhh, you might be 'younger' than me. lol
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Post by Pony on May 13, 2018 17:55:11 GMT -5
bLOG
I’ve always searched for the girl that has all the elements that can be everything to me. I have a tattoo that says “Baby, Hold On!” It’s from a Kansas song that helped pull me through the first months after my wreck. I was laid up in the hospital wondering just what would become of life, and that song would give me the strength I needed. So, my tattoo represents holding on.
However, it’s also a statement to the girl that wants me, needs me, in her life. She has to hold on tightly. I guarantee I’m worth all the hurdles, if she can.
In one of my more lonelier moments I hired a prostitute, thinking it would be fun, sexy and quench some of my thirst for companionship. I was wrong on all accounts. It was stupid, devoid of emotion and useless. As soon as she left, I told myself “never again.” I guess I thought it would be fun, but really, it was just fake-feelings, and I hate anything fake.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 23:18:11 GMT -5
There's nothing worse than fake feelings, fake people, or fake anything!
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Post by Pony on May 20, 2018 14:27:26 GMT -5
When people say the most important thing in life is your attitude, it’s the absolute truth. Attitude is the building block of your character. It’s your self-esteem, or how comfortable you are in your own skin. It builds your confidence. Attitude has the power to attract a woman, and it can gain respect. It can command a stage, and it can make life worth living. It is how you see yourself, and it’s how you dictate the way the world looks at you.
After becoming paralyzed from the chest down, I think that I finally realized just how important self-esteem, and attitude, are. It’s the foundation that I’ve built my 2nd life upon, and it’s undoubtedly become even more important after my chair-life began. You see, after being stripped of almost everything that gave me self-identity, I slowly rebuilt myself from the inside out. It takes attitude to gather up the scattered pieces of life and forge a new path. You better have guts. Never stop growing. Never take a defeated position. Never accept the stereotypes that people will stamp you with. Never let this disability define who you are. I will never be a victim.
This is the rock n roll attitude that’s needed to get through.
(excerpt from my book "You Rock...I Roll.")
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Post by Pony on May 20, 2018 20:38:25 GMT -5
Dude, you don't know how much that means. Seriously. And yes, you come to Florida, and we'll hang. Made my day, brother.
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Post by Pony on May 27, 2018 16:51:24 GMT -5
I was on the buzzed side of things when we shot this, so I'm not all that great...his guitar is unplugged, so sound not very full, but here it is.
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Post by Pony on May 28, 2018 8:11:51 GMT -5
bLOG
As a quad, i depend on routines to do most things. Get me out of a routine, even just a little, and it can really fuck me up. There's a system to everything...picking up the mouthwash bottle takes focus, slowly slipping my right hand over the top of a small bottle and using gravity and friction to tilt it slightly enough to complete "lift off." Everything's like that. I envy paras so much, the freedom to get out of bed on your own time, never have to focus so much on every little thing. Quads learn to brush it off, but God help you if you're not a patient person - it'll drive you crazy. I had to learn patience, it wasn't easy. Lately, I changed something on my steering wheel in my van, and it took me fuckin months to get right. It's a crazy life, and that's one reason I've been so hesitant about relationships. I don't want to share this shit with anyone. They wouldn't get it, and I'd rather deal on my own with these struggles. I don't need their frustration, or trying to offer advice. It's safer to keep chicks at arms-length. Of course when I was younger I desired a girl closer, and at times it worked, sometimes not. But I guess I've changed over the years, like most people do.
These days I just try to keep my head above water financially and make things run smoothly here at my house, and my body. I'm always fighting spasms, pain in my neck, killing UTIs and other shit. Now it's off for some breakfast - biscuits and gravy, mmmmm.
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Post by Pony on Jun 28, 2018 11:52:18 GMT -5
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Post by bunster on Jun 29, 2018 0:37:13 GMT -5
...you're the first man to say that...not sure if I should be afraid or not ...lol, I just wish women thought the same. post your pic! |
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Post by bunster on Jun 29, 2018 0:37:57 GMT -5
...wishing Devs from all over the World would post pics displaying proudly the devo-panties, like our princesa Chan.   i posted one of mine....by the river. red panties and YOU are gorgeous!!! |
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I recorded that song last year with my guitar player.
