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Post by devogirl on May 8, 2024 4:57:25 GMT -5
omg kingcnut please stop. BIID members are allowed to join but with the understanding that a lot of members here don't like it. They are entitled to their opinions, and you're not going to change any minds with personal insults. This is not a BIID support group.
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zekemartin
New Member
Posts: 23
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
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Post by zekemartin on May 8, 2024 5:19:36 GMT -5
omg kingcnut please stop. BIID members are allowed to join but with the understanding that a lot of members here don't like it. They are entitled to their opinions, and you're not going to change any minds with personal insults. This is not a BIID support group. Devogirl Thank you - this was well said and is consistent with the ground rules I just read since I just joined. I was struggling with whether I should say anything and how to say it. I appreciate you reminding us of the ground rules.
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Post by James on May 8, 2024 7:31:18 GMT -5
He's honest here because he knows he'd get caught. However unless he's stopping everyone he passes on the street, in every conversation then he is deceiving people. An even larger issue is taking an accessible parking spot, or spot on public transportation and lots of other resources from actual disabled people. So no, I will not be giving him any credit. Wow James, it’s not your legs the don’t work, its your brain too. Hooray ableism!
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Post by sy on May 8, 2024 8:46:09 GMT -5
Wow James, it’s not your legs the don’t work, its your brain too. Hooray ableism! Usually I'm okay with BIID people. After that disgusting comment I can tell this guy's full of shit.
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Post by Enid on May 8, 2024 8:52:59 GMT -5
Wow James, it’s not your legs the don’t work, its your brain too. Hooray ableism! And so many incorrect assumptions 😂
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allison101
New Member
Posts: 26
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by allison101 on May 8, 2024 10:37:54 GMT -5
He's honest here because he knows he'd get caught. However unless he's stopping everyone he passes on the street, in every conversation then he is deceiving people. An even larger issue is taking an accessible parking spot, or spot on public transportation and lots of other resources from actual disabled people. So no, I will not be giving him any credit. Wow James, it’s not your legs the don’t work, its your brain too. There is no logic here, “I’m upfront because id get caught?” If a dev is ok with me being who I am then i’m fine with that, Im also fine with a dev not liking it also and we don’t have to chat, why would they want to chat to me I wasn’t honest, devs of all people would be able to tell instantly? I didn’t want to call you out and as a new member here I don’t want confrontation so please DM me if you have a problem. How you can assume I take resources and deprive you or any other pwd from them is absurd, you don’t know me. If you feel threatened don’t worry Im not here to steal one of your devs and derive you of one of your precious resources ( probably how you see devs too if are playing the assumption game) , with an attitude like yours you are doing that job for yourself. Didn’t take long for your true colors to come out! In a way it’s great you commented this disgusting comment. Now all the reasonable people who may have been interested in conversing with you will not waste their time. Congrats, you played yourself.
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quarantinetoughguy
New Member
Posts: 34
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by quarantinetoughguy on May 8, 2024 13:09:45 GMT -5
how do I insert that GIF where michael jackson is eating popcorn gleefully, a GIf that is used to insinuate the posters intent not to get involved albeit their desire to sit back and watch the shit show unfold.
I dunno how so just imagine that GIF here, ya dig? lol.
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anonymitea
Junior Member
![*](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/stars/star.png)
Posts: 77
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
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Post by anonymitea on May 8, 2024 21:54:13 GMT -5
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kingcnut
New Member
M37 London BIID T10 complete para. Seeking Dev.
Posts: 26
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
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Post by kingcnut on May 9, 2024 1:49:08 GMT -5
So I came here to PD knowing that there would be people who did not like my position, its not my first encounter with Devs, Pwd’s or every other human in the rest of the world. I really do and did not want confrontation on a new forum fo the forums sake and Administrators, I see that its not much different here from other places and there are some that just like drama. This is the only reply I will be posting here regarding this matter, if you have a problem with me or my life decisions then please DM me fo the sake of not having a toxic forum and in respect to the Admin who i’m guessing probably are not the happy and was not their dream in hosting a free place for all of us, only to see it turn toxic.
Im not expecting everybody to welcome me, that’s fine, I respect your opinions but please don’t go round accusing me of untrue things like “depriving pwd’s of resources” or “parking in ‘your’ place” and particularly “full of shit” and “would get caught out”! Far from it, i’m the one here openly advertising I have BIID and not a SCI. Not sure how much more open or not full of shit I could be with Devs here? There is nothing disgusting I have said, just honest.
Many people can not change their bodys. Everybody can change their mind and if you are a bitter and ignorant person then that is your own decision. If you come swinging at me, well I can swing back. Ill probably just ignore you as if you have a fight with an idiot, the best outcome is that you will win a fight with an idiot, you still waste your time. Its rather hypocritical to be judged by pwd men here who openly post that they can’t even talk to a woman in the gym who clearly is interested in them and a few creepy devs (yes devs can be creepy too) who are in the closet, disclose no personal information and have no profile picture, hmm it really is attractive and the way to attract a pwd to chat to you!. The difference here is Im not jousting you, I would encourage you to get past the limitations and support you fully. I only expect the same in return.
You would not judge anybody in your life who you knew was a man who wanted to be a woman or vice versa. Even if you didn’t agree you wouldn’t start accusing them of things that were untrue. But I know what you few people here causing drama are like and its very easy to guess your political affiliation and life outlook is easy, you defiantly would not be judging a trans person.
Guess what that is BIID. Not seeing yourself as your body is and preferring it to be different.
So thank you to the Devs and Pwd’s here who share my view and who have messaged and have my back on this one.
To everybody else, please DM me if you want to vent something and please keep it off the main page. Really happy if you don’t too, I don’t like wasting anybody’s time especially mine replying to you. I have no shame in this world, I am who I am and you can’t hurt me with your mean words so you are wasting your time. Who knows ill probably actually talk to you or you can maybe see from my position not your ill informed bigoted viewpoint. You might learn something. Or not.
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Post by ayla on May 9, 2024 12:27:06 GMT -5
AJ it's all well and good that you are here openly sharing that you have BIID. I do commend you for that. It is reasonable to expect that many here will not be supportive but that's part of the territory. The issue we have is not with the honest way you were acting on the board (although it has certainly taken a turn for the worse) but with ethical concerns around misleading/deceiving people in real life. I don't think you are responsible for informing every stranger on the street (although others may feel differently about this). But it's borderline. Once you take things into the public view you are on a slippery slope to greater and greater deceptions. Yes you claim you disclose your BIID once you interact with someone...but how soon into the interaction? And what about nonverbal interactions? When you notice people staring/checking you out, don't you think that has something to do with how you're presenting/misleading them? You may be OK with passively deceiving people who are "only watching" or who you are "only" exchanging pleasantries with, rather than a meaningful conversation in which BIID is divulged. How long until the deception goes further? We may say, what harm is it doing to use a wc in public as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. I think that's the wrong question. What harm is it doing to your psyche to tolerate and enjoy greater levels of misleading other people in the name of your own enjoyment/satisfaction? It is very easy to find a justification for something you really want to do, particularly when the only person holding you to any kind of ethical line in the sand is yourself. You say you have no interest in deceiving others, but clearly enjoy unaware strangers seeing you...
You are deflecting from this issue by talking about how open and honest you are HERE. And further deflecting by bringing in a comparison to trans issues, hoping people pick up that very enticing bait and run with it. The reality is that there are many more ways in which having a body that doesn't match how you would prefer it to be must simply be accepted. We don't allow adults to "identify" as children or vice versa. We don't allow people to "identify" as other races or ethnicities. Hell if I started talking in a pretend Spanish accent like Hilaria Baldwin I'd be rightly laughed out of town. Gender is a (contentious) outlier. Don't take the discussion down that road; it will ultimately not do you any favors.
The issue here is not whether BIID is the same as trans, nor what you do in private, nor what you do on the board. It's what you do in public that creates the biggest backlash. I hope you can see that the concern is not merely for what you (say you) are doing now, but where such an attitude leads. The fact that you can still pick and choose when to "be" a paraplegic shows that it is actually a choice. You can't claim BIID is such a severe affliction that you MUST enact this fantasy but then say "oh but I can't at work / with family / xyz." If you can tolerate being AB when you "need" to be, then the BIID seems much more of an indulgence -- in which case, it should be indulged in private.
These are my opinions, and of course nothing I say or do is going to stop anyone from pretending in public. The type of people who do that are not the type of people who give a fuck what I think. And generally, I don't believe in making rules about what people can/can't do when it doesn't harm others -- which is NOT the same as thinking those behaviors shouldn't be judged. I don't think it should be forbidden to use a chair if you don't need one. But I don't think it should be respected or encouraged, either. As I did before, I do give you credit for being honest here. I think BIID/pretender types who are honest can indeed find a match among certain flavors of dev, and enjoy that together in private. I would caution you to consider whether "living as a paraplegic" is really a healthy choice, though.
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kingcnut
New Member
M37 London BIID T10 complete para. Seeking Dev.
Posts: 26
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
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Post by kingcnut on May 9, 2024 13:56:19 GMT -5
Hi Ayla, I see your points but don’t agree with all of them. So I like it when a girl check me out anyway, i’m a guy. Most girls like getting genuinely smiled at by a nice guy too. If someone talks to me and is bold enough to ask why the chair, then I instantly tell them. If its somoeone who is rude or their only question then I dont! If someone is still interested when they know that then everything is fair in love and war. Its a real babe magnet to be in a wheelchair!
The point about where does it lead. I live my life the same either way, you could say, well smoking leads to canabis use, leads to cocaine, leads to heroin. So all smokers are potential junkies. People make their own choices. Im happy how I am and this is not a form of progressive degradation.
The trans issue im sorry is a version of BIID whether you like it or not, im not comparing myself to it. You can’t have one rule for some and one for others. And conscientious outlier is not an acceptable excuse. How very Animal Farm. A trans man wearing a skirt and fake breasts has way more possibility of deceiving someone than me! Do you think its ok to be a conscientious outlier with a man watching you in a ladies bathroom? Its not my issue and dont want to start a debate here on it. It was an analogy to BIID. You could argue where does that lead, same as you wonder what my decisions will lead to.
Yes its not healthy to wake up every morning distressed to still feel your legs! Its also not healthy to seek a pwd as a dev and not be interest in AB men as many devs do. Im not judging.
Thank you for your reasonable way of expressing yourself though, better than insults and fake accusations.
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Post by ayla on May 9, 2024 14:33:16 GMT -5
The point of where does it lead is relevant for you to consider. If smoking leads to drug use, which it often does, there is a negative impact to the person doing the drugs. This may disincentivize escalation. If deception leads to greater deception, there is a positive impact for the person DOING the deceiving and a negative impact to the bystanders. There are fewer brakes to escalation, and no oversight.
I will not weigh in here on trans issues. If I do, a bunch of people will pile on me for my views and then others will pile on them, and we will be talking about trans instead of BIID. I understand you see a parallel (and honestly I get that, I see it too -- both groups feel their body is somehow not reflective of an inner self). But I will leave it there because to discuss it further is not constructive in this discussion.
I am glad you are happy how you are, but at the same time you say it is not progressive you also say that you have been spending more and more time in your chair as time has gone on.
With regard to devs seeking out pwd and not able bodied partners, well, here you REALLY tip your ableism hand. It's not healthy to have this preference? Why? Please explain without insinuating that pwd are somehow defective. I will be shocked if you're able to do so.
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allison101
New Member
Posts: 26
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: In a relationship
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Post by allison101 on May 9, 2024 15:06:15 GMT -5
kingcnut, So I’ll ask you point blank- do you use handicapped spaces when/if you drive? If using public transport, do you decline when people move to accommodate you? Additionally, it’s certainly a choice to describe devs as unhealthy for being attracted to pwd…. On a forum specifically for devs who are attracted to PWDs….. you’re not doing yourself any favors here.
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Post by sy on May 9, 2024 16:21:02 GMT -5
You claim to not want confrontation, but you resort to ableism while trying to be a part of the disabled community. Believe it or not what you said did not bother me. I've heard much worse, what really bothered me was how much of a hypocritical piece of shit you are.
Also stop trying to lure Dev's into your DMs.
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kingcnut
New Member
M37 London BIID T10 complete para. Seeking Dev.
Posts: 26
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
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Post by kingcnut on May 9, 2024 18:22:04 GMT -5
kingcnut , So I’ll ask you point blank- do you use handicapped spaces when/if you drive? If using public transport, do you decline when people move to accommodate you? Additionally, it’s certainly a choice to describe devs as unhealthy for being attracted to pwd…. On a forum specifically for devs who are attracted to PWDs….. you’re not doing yourself any favors here. Thankyou for your question / not assumptions even if they do seem a little belligerent, So im not sure how you think handicapped parking works, My car would be towed away if I parked somewhere I should not be parked, its not a car of well if you turn up and get a wheelchair out they let you park in a handicapped spot, not sure of a country where this happens? So why ask? I don’t rely on public transport, I own a car and drive, if I have been on public transport I have never deprived anyone of a space to sit, there are no seats in places for chairs so again why ask? I have however had an encounter with another wheelchair user, (special needs with carer) and yes I voluntarily offered my place and waited 1hr for the next service. Im not worried if I offend a dev, if you don't see my viewpoint and want to judge my life choices I can judge yours, my point exactly I dont believe its sick to like someone disabled, so why do others think its ok to say I am? any dev who can see this is the kind of dev I would like to talk to anybody who can't is a hypocrite and I wouldn't want to know you as a person or as a dev. So not sure what your looking for here, i’ve answered your questing, you probably still think I am the scum of the earth and a piece of shit like a few others here.
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