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Post by Griffin on Jul 20, 2009 4:17:49 GMT -5
I thought I would put my thoughts/opinion to this;
For me - I have lacked confidence for a long time now and have not really found out a lot about this Devotee thing before. Now having come across this site I am both pleased that 'some' of the opposite sex are'nt put off by my disability and would treat me equally with that of an AB person. Having said that, because I lack confidence I do find it strange that others find something attractive about someones predicament. Hope this makes sense.
Griffin
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Post by Neffie on Dec 3, 2009 13:00:15 GMT -5
I come and go on his site and I apologise but someone sent me a msg and I linked to this discusion that predates me almost as much as the Ptolemy's! So many disturbing images and I realise they are from a long time ago but I rarely get here and tend to post in the Dev only site. I find it normal that any new member would challenge this, it's natural. We do seem like freaks in a way. There is a MASSIVE difference between male and female devs, one glance at YouTube will tell you that. Male devs have an exploitative nature driven by porn and a need to control and dominate the woman in question. I think that's why female wheelers should avoid anyone on such sites and should redirect them to the nearest poor Russian woman willing to sell her limbs to the highest bidder. Female Devs are a whole other race and apart from a few bad apples we're here because we have an attraction to a certain type of man. I have said numerous times that if I had a 'thing' for Black men, it doesn't mean I would mount them all...I just have an extra box on my perfect man list. Along with sense of humour, love of beer and TV you have 'wheeler'. It may not be obvious to certain people but really if you read about us we're all pretty normal. There's nothing to be scared of, we're generally nice women but I guess that's relative. All I know is that it's not about contol and domination, if it becomes that then I recommend www.lovehoney.co.uk ;D
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Post by Ouch on Dec 3, 2009 14:41:59 GMT -5
Male devs have an exploitative nature driven by porn and a need to control and dominate the woman in question. That's not always true, not at all. Not all male devs have such a nature.
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Post by paulywalleye on Dec 3, 2009 18:26:47 GMT -5
I'll be perfectly honest, I'm not afraid of a girl if she's a devo, I'm just horribly bashful in front of girls. It's weird, in life I'm a Type-A personality, a go getter. I take life and grab them by the cajones; I've written three sci-fi novels, I spot tornadoes, I go snorkeling, but put me in front of a girl and I'm totally lost. I think a lot of it has to do with my disability and my self perception of "well she wouldn't waste her time on me," kind of attitude, and yeah yeah, I know that's wrong but it's kind of hard to change that way of thinking. (Especially when it gets reinforced with events in life!) It's also why I don't initiate any PM's with folks here. I figure if a girl here wants to talk with me, I won't waste her time, let her make the first move. As for whether a person is attracted because or despite my disability, that's fine, as long as they're attracted to me. Besides, I might be a gimp, but I'm no pushover, so I'm not afraid of the scarier ones out there.
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Post by Triassic on Dec 3, 2009 18:31:22 GMT -5
i agree. i think you're off-base there, nefer-ta...
there are probably just as many socially-stunted, low-order female devs as males...they just don't post here.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 3, 2009 18:49:20 GMT -5
Paul,
"Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right" - Henry Ford.
It's all about perspective. You'll get rejected, everyone does. But you shouldn't let it, or the expectation of it, to stop you from searching for happiness. Confidence comes with time & experience. But you have to take that leap of faith.
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Post by doe on Dec 3, 2009 20:32:49 GMT -5
Jason, Phil - may the force be with you! Wise ones, you are.
Paul, you could do a lot worse than to listen to their advice. Listen, you should - Yodoe.
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Post by paulywalleye on Dec 3, 2009 22:58:18 GMT -5
This is all very true. Now, if only my office had more available women, I'd take up the advice, lol.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 4, 2009 13:15:17 GMT -5
Now, if only my office had more available women, I'd take up the advice, lol. Copout, Paul. Thats just another 'if' excuse. If only I could... I would go, if... She might like me if... C'mon, man. 'If' excuses are lame, Paul. If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. ;D Office romances aren't usually a smart thing to do, anyway. So not having a lot of potentials around isn't such a bad thing. I'm sure you must know other ways where you could meet women. Don't think you're alone in being intimidated when you first start asking women out. Everyone has been there.
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Post by Pony on Dec 4, 2009 16:17:15 GMT -5
This whole attraction...scoring-thang is complicated!! It depends on the girl AND the situation, maybe the situation more than looks, but NEVER underestimate the power of looks. I know, it's superficial, but looks matter a LOT!! That doesn't mean u have to be blessed greatly...especially as a dude coz I think women dig so many other traits in men than looks, and I remember before I got knocked into chair there were ugly guys I knew that got 'the girl' way more often than I did because they were soooo good verbally. Even now, I know a few guys that were born 'pussy hunters' - just great at talking chicks into bed. But i wonder how their skills would change if they ended up c5c6 SCI.
You have to find your STRENGTHS...like I know I'm terrible at trying to talk up a girl that I don't even know, so I gave up on that years ago. However, if I get to know the well, make them laugh, it'll come to me without me 'talkin it up.' Also, if I can get a girl exchanging emails, or chat regular, I can BUILD A CHEMISTRY. And I've said it before....CHEMISTRY IS EVERYTHING!! Doesn't matter if your kinda geeky lookin, crippled or bald...it's all about how you build the fire. It doesn't ALWAYS catch fire...but when it does it's a wonderful feeling!! Keep sparking the lighter, man...
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Post by paulywalleye on Dec 5, 2009 0:19:18 GMT -5
Well, as far as meeting women, I'm not into the bar scene to meet people. If I go to a bar it's to have a beer (or three.) I've put my profile on POF, had some lukewarm conversations, I'm guessing that'd be my best shot perhaps?
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Post by Neffie on Dec 5, 2009 12:14:31 GMT -5
OK looking at the responses I see how my words can be misconstrued. I can see how you think I am harsh about male devs but I have a certain feeling about men in general that leads me to believe that most men are untrustworthy let alone the ones who target para women.
I hold my hands up, mutter an unreserved mea culpa and throw myself onto the nearest sharp ended dildo.
Am I forgiven?
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Post by Lord Chatterley on Dec 5, 2009 14:08:39 GMT -5
OK looking at the responses I see how my words can be misconstrued. I can see how you think I am harsh about male devs but I have a certain feeling about men in general that leads me to believe that most men are untrustworthy let alone the ones who target para women. I hold my hands up, mutter an unreserved mea culpa and throw myself onto the nearest sharp ended dildo. Am I forgiven? You had me at "sharp ended dildo"...
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 6, 2009 12:34:43 GMT -5
Forgiven? lol We're all working on our own version of the Turin Erotic Papyrus in our minds, lol.
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Post by ozT4para on Dec 13, 2009 8:26:23 GMT -5
It's all about perspective. You'll get rejected, everyone does. But you shouldn't let it, or the expectation of it, to stop you from searching for happiness. Confidence comes with time & experience. But you have to take that leap of faith. Actually I think confidence would more likely come from not being rejected. One gets repeatedly rejected, no amount of time will fix that. And the experience will have been of being rejected. Leaps of faith can be difficult after that.
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