Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 13, 2009 19:51:11 GMT -5
It's all about perspective. You'll get rejected, everyone does. But you shouldn't let it, or the expectation of it, to stop you from searching for happiness. Confidence comes with time & experience. But you have to take that leap of faith. Actually I think confidence would more likely come from not being rejected. One gets repeatedly rejected, no amount of time will fix that. And the experience will have been of being rejected. Leaps of faith can be difficult after that. Reread what I wrote. Every guy going gets rejected. Well, maybe not Tiger Woods, lol. Just because one, or ten, turn you down asking them out on a date doesn't mean everyone will. You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you will succeed. Sure, you'll strike out. And a disability isn't going to make it any easier in most cases. But, would you rather strike out swinging the bat, or standing there with the bat on your shoulder?
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Post by ozT4para on Dec 20, 2009 2:50:14 GMT -5
Sure, you'll strike out. And a disability isn't going to make it any easier in most cases. But, would you rather strike out swinging the bat, or standing there with the bat on your shoulder? Arrrggghh! Baseball analogies.
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Post by ozT4para on Dec 20, 2009 2:55:57 GMT -5
Just because one, or ten, turn you down asking them out on a date doesn't mean everyone will. You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you will succeed. I'm sure why one has to believe that at all. It isn't that easy sometimes. One or ten might be fine but how many times do you feel someone needs to be turned down before getting a bit dejected about it all? I'm not necessarily talking about a few times, I'm saying dozens. It does start to make one really wonder just exactly what is so wrong. Still I am not completely jaded by the whole thing yet; just getting there.
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Post by doe on Dec 20, 2009 6:57:23 GMT -5
Phil, I totally dig your baseball analogy. It would be much better going down swinging than not even getting off the bench, out of the dugout, on deck and then taking to the plate .
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Post by roger888 on Dec 20, 2009 11:27:46 GMT -5
Banging your head against a wall is always going to give you a headache,so wear some head gear ,or use a softer wall.If your failing all the time,try another strategy.It's that simple.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 20, 2009 12:55:31 GMT -5
Phil, I totally dig your baseball analogy. It would be much better going down swinging than not even getting off the bench, out of the dugout, on deck and then taking to the plate . Thank you, Ms. D'oh. ;D It's better to fail trying than wondering later in life if trying might have worked.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 20, 2009 13:00:45 GMT -5
If your failing all the time,try another strategy.It's that simple. There ya go, excellent advice.
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Post by doe on Dec 20, 2009 16:11:17 GMT -5
If your failing all the time,try another strategy.It's that simple. There ya go, excellent advice. You'll receive no argument from me .
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Post by Neffie on Dec 22, 2009 11:12:40 GMT -5
I remember saying once to a guy that 'rejection' was my middle name. He laughed at me and I gave him the eyebrow, and sure enough he left me a month later after thinking he had gotten me pregnant. Thankfully it was a false alarm but I was living in The Gambia and being dumped there is about as low as a woman can go. Did it stop me? No I just found the next dickhead who came along and carried on my merry way!
The point is, I am confident, able bodied and not short of offers but with each frog I kiss I come closer to finding a Prince.
Ok so even if you don't get to the kissing stage just have the strength to get out there and make it happen. There is no excuse. If someone knocks you back then it's just that you're not compatible. Whatever the reason!
I have to say that I love sports analogies and sitting on the bench is the worst thing you can do when it comes to dating...of course you won't meet people. If you've got the guts to step up to the plate once then you can do it again. Striking out happens to EVERYONE!!!! If they tell you otherwise they're freakin' lying!
Try another strategy is great advice but I think the most important thing to realise is that every woman is different! Like visiting different countries you have to know that each woman holds their own attractions, and offers something new so of course you have to adapt to the new environment and act accordingly. I can't really offer much more advice other than rejection is not an excuse for giving up. Suck it up, brush yourself off and move on!
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Post by c3ishquad on Dec 22, 2009 16:57:16 GMT -5
I'd say it's insecurity, mainly. Most guys in chairs hate their disability and the fact that it's a turn-on to some is a turn-off to them.
Possibly: obeseGirl:chubbyChaser::maleWheeler:devo.
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Post by Triassic on Dec 22, 2009 17:35:27 GMT -5
i don't understand c3...your meaning is unclear.
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Post by Neffie on Dec 22, 2009 17:44:03 GMT -5
c3ishquad: I can see you're relatively new to the site and maybe don't get it. "Chubby chasers" are generally male and have a preference for fat women. Some men find fat women repulsive and not worthy of their attention. The typical definition of a Chubby Chaser for you I'm guessing is someone who spends most of their time trying to hack into an FBI database from their Grandma's basement. So it stands to reason that a Dev would be an ugly spinster who can't get an able bodied man? Right? Maybe I'm wrong but that's the sentiment you're giving off here. It's a good analogy to be honest because maybe a lot of AB women feel the same about SCI men. They have nothing against you but maybe feel they couldn't go there. What are you scared of exactly? That a woman may want you, find you attractive despite your injury? Is that so bad? Think about it for a minute. We all appreciate the sentiment, it's a bit different and you may have ideas that we have "Misery" type intentions of tying you up in a log cabin and making you our bitch who writes the sequel to 'Breaking Dawn'. I think during your months of isolation in the cabin you may come to realise that dev's aren't derived from some Kathy Bates mould and are normal women who choose not to judge men on their physical abilities but rather on what they can offer as a person. Yeah, I know it's a pretty "far out there" concept for most men to contemplate but actually women are a lot less shallow then you think. SHOCKER! Oh, and I'll be sure to let my "fat" friends know not to expect a call from you.
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Post by E on Dec 22, 2009 17:52:17 GMT -5
We all appreciate the sentiment, it's a bit different and you may have ideas that we have "Misery" type intentions of tying you up in a log cabin and making you our bitch who writes the sequel to 'Breaking Dawn'. I could only be so lucky...
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Dec 22, 2009 19:22:28 GMT -5
c3ishquad: I can see you're relatively new to the site and maybe don't get it. "Chubby chasers" are generally male and have a preference for fat women. Some men find fat women repulsive and not worthy of their attention. The typical definition of a Chubby Chaser for you I'm guessing is someone who spends most of their time trying to hack into an FBI database from their Grandma's basement. So it stands to reason that a Dev would be an ugly spinster who can't get an able bodied man? Right? Maybe I'm wrong but that's the sentiment you're giving off here. It's a good analogy to be honest because maybe a lot of AB women feel the same about SCI men. They have nothing against you but maybe feel they couldn't go there. What are you scared of exactly? That a woman may want you, find you attractive despite your injury? Is that so bad? Think about it for a minute. We all appreciate the sentiment, it's a bit different and you may have ideas that we have "Misery" type intentions of tying you up in a log cabin and making you our bitch who writes the sequel to 'Breaking Dawn'. I think during your months of isolation in the cabin you may come to realise that dev's aren't derived from some Kathy Bates mould and are normal women who choose not to judge men on their physical abilities but rather on what they can offer as a person. Yeah, I know it's a pretty "far out there" concept for most men to contemplate but actually women are a lot less shallow then you think. SHOCKER! Oh, and I'll be sure to let my "fat" friends know not to expect a call from you. I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that a blow job is out of the question now, huh? ;D ;D
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 23, 2009 3:03:44 GMT -5
I'd say it's insecurity, mainly. Most guys in chairs hate their disability and the fact that it's a turn-on to some is a turn-off to them. Possibly: obeseGirl:chubbyChaser::maleWheeler:devo. I can agree with that!: ;D
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