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Post by Ciao Bella on Feb 5, 2010 18:56:56 GMT -5
YAY for retail therapy! although I must admit, compared to my atrociously excessive use of my plastic fantastic pre-current partner, I have mellowed quite a bit. Thinking about it some more, could it be because I am relatively much happier? That I don't have the need to constantly find "things" that will provide, what I know, would be temporary contentment? Nowadays, I find the urge to shop only when we have really bad fights... which I find is helping the hippocket quite well. That being said, I need to shop this weekend but my car is at the crash repairshop and will have to depend on him to drive me ... but, am I willing to lose my pride to ask him? Oh and yes, we had a huge fight last night...hence the need for retail therapy.
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Post by €squire on Feb 5, 2010 20:52:03 GMT -5
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you." – Nathaniel Hawthorne
Who knew Nate with such a Zen master?
And as for ol' Abe and his hierarchy of needs, he only studied "exemplary" people, rather than those of us endowed with a particular challenge, proclaiming that "the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy." Wiki: Motivation and Personality. New York: Harper. pp. 236.
Say it ain't so, Maslow... say it ain't so.
Regarding retail therapy, I think it is well and proper for a lady to indulge herself occasionally -- self-love is surely a basic need.
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annie
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Post by annie on Feb 6, 2010 10:41:00 GMT -5
Ohhhh Bella, retail therapy never works as well when the BF is there! haha I hope the fight resolved itself and yyou got some good shopping in though. Although, I sort of wish I had brought my BF along on my shoe shopping spree. I don't wear heels often b/c I am from the land of the giants(a little over 5'10" in flats) and my current BF is a little shorter than I normally date. He laughs when I call him a shrimp b/c he is about 6' 1" hahaha. However, all my other BF's have been 6'4" or above, it just gives us a better proportion when standing sided by side. Heck, even the w/c users I am attracted to are guys who are very tall when standing on their own two feet. Anyway, I can't even wear my fancy new shoes around my BF b/c they make me slightly taller than him. Whoever said being tall was a good thing was just plain silly. haha
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Post by Ciao Bella on Feb 6, 2010 20:17:11 GMT -5
Sir Esquire, I (and surely all the other lovely ladies on this board) agree wholeheartedly that we should revel in self-indulgence occasionally - no doubt about that But with regard to our good friend Maslow, who seems to be mentioned every now and then, I feel as though he could include us devs...as I feel that our given mindset poses a psychological challenge to us. I have suggested, in an earlier post, that given devs think and feel, that once we satisfy our need for being with the perfect person who also is a para/quaddie (depending on preference), only then will we be able to achieve and certainly excel in the other aspects of our lives. That is how I understand Maslow. Annie Yes, the fight resolved itself after some tears and bitter words, thank you. I've decided against asking him to come with me precisely because you're right...shopping does not equal BF tagging along...so I will wait till next weekend or maybe next late night shopping to shop. Geez, are you a model or play basketball or netball, given your height? I'm sort of jealous coz I'm 5 foot nothing LOL...but it works...my BF is a 6 footer (standing) but in a chair, we're perfect One of my very good friends had the same problem as you, on their wedding day, she opted to wear flats!
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annie
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Post by annie on Feb 6, 2010 22:53:40 GMT -5
Bella, I'm glad you got that sorted out, but I hope you get your shopping spree anyway;). I may be a giant, but a model I could never be, unless I decieded to give up eating for the next month or so. haha. I was never one for basketball but the height did come in handy for lacrosse and volleyball which I played in HS and Lacrosse for 2 yrs in college until I had an injury. I think we want what we don't have though, b/c I have always wished I was one of those little pixie type women who are tiny and barely 5' tall. I don't let it stop me though, I still rock my heels, hopefully I don't get mistaken for sasquatch anytime soon though!(considering I am roughly 6'1"-6'2" in heels)
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Post by €squire on Feb 6, 2010 23:56:18 GMT -5
Point well taken, Ciao Bella. I do agree. Sexual intimacy is an integral aspect of our well-being, without which we feel incomplete to varying degrees. I always feel better when I am in a productive relationship. Nothing can replace a gentle touch or playful wink from that special one. And to me, simply knowing that I am working toward specific goals shared with someone that I love somehow paints the world in a new light. So I can relate, mate.
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Post by ρɦoeɳix on Feb 7, 2010 11:26:29 GMT -5
Bella, I'm glad you got that sorted out, but I hope you get your shopping spree anyway;). I may be a giant, but a model I could never be, unless I decieded to give up eating for the next month or so. haha. I was never one for basketball but the height did come in handy for lacrosse and volleyball which I played in HS and Lacrosse for 2 yrs in college until I had an injury. I think we want what we don't have though, b/c I have always wished I was one of those little pixie type women who are tiny and barely 5' tall. I don't let it stop me though, I still rock my heels, hopefully I don't get mistaken for sasquatch anytime soon though!(considering I am roughly 6'1"-6'2" in heels) I think it's great that you still wear heels even though you're tall! A friend of mine is about 6'3"-6'4" or something when she's in heels, but she still wear them sometimes, and I think that's great! (Though I feel like a dwarf next to her, as I'm only about 5'3" (when I'm in flats) ) I've actually never been attracted to only guys with one spesific height, I've realised that I really don't care about height, as long as I 'click' with that person. (Though I've always been weak for dark eyed/dark haired guys ) Point well taken, Ciao Bella. I do agree. Sexual intimacy is an integral aspect of our well-being, without which we feel incomplete to varying degrees. I always feel better when I am in a productive relationship. Nothing can replace a gentle touch or playful wink from that special one. And to me, simply knowing that I am working toward specific goals shared with someone that I love somehow paints the world in a new light. So I can relate, mate. Well said, both of you! I'm all in for being in a productive relationship with that special one you can share future goals with!
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Post by Dee Dee on Feb 7, 2010 12:48:00 GMT -5
Regarding retail therapy, I think it is well and proper for a lady to indulge herself occasionally -- self-love is surely a basic need. The good thing about self-indulgence is, that it can be done totally inexpensively: just a hot cup of well-brewed coffee in the morning can be a real treat sometimes .
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Post by €squire on Feb 8, 2010 13:44:20 GMT -5
From my perspective, I can say with certainty that the chair altered forever my conception of "happiness", as well as my level of appreciation of a true heart, a rare gem to be cherished above all else. Constantly adapting to a changing and superficial world, my life has always been most satisfying and content and exciting and felt whole when it was shared at the deepest level, a level indulging of the physical, but exceeding the temporal nature of now to a place where I was a part of a common lust for a shared dream.
Raw potential excites me to the core. So I have always found a unique measure of happiness in building a unified dream with someone I love that yields the common goals and mutual expectations of our relationship, mapping and ultimately defining it, presenting a common and united purpose and direction. The feeling of belonging and creating something bigger and more significant than oneself alone could ever dare accomplish is a wonderful gift for which we all hunger; it is love in motion -- a beautiful experience indeed.
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Post by Pony on Feb 8, 2010 16:50:20 GMT -5
Jesus Esquire, will you stop??? lol You just keep nailing it, man. lol That is the 'essence' of what I desire with a girl. I've felt that many times in life, but it always fleeted away from me after some time. You're also right about that concept of 'happiness'...man, it's had to be adjusted a few times!
Love your writing, man!
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Phil
Junior Member
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Post by Phil on Feb 8, 2010 16:57:40 GMT -5
Well, it's still a lot easier to find happiness when your financially secure than if you were dirt poor.
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Post by Ciao Bella on Feb 8, 2010 17:24:46 GMT -5
Esquire, I feel I need to clarify my statement about being with the perfect person...I did not mean just sexually. I meant "being" with him, sharing our lives together and that includes all aspects of a relationship. Thought I needed to clarify before anyone one this board saw me as a predator of wheelies LOL
Phil, I agree that financial security can present more opportunities to find different experiences, but ultimately happiness really only depends on how one sees a situation. As DD said, sometimes happiness is just having a nice cuppa. When I was married, we were pretty financially OK, but the relationship wasn't going anywhere...so I was miserable, and I took it out on my credit card. Comparing then to now, where we're not exactly dirt-poor, but we're not wanting for anything either and sure we have our share of ups and downs but we decide to push on and stay together. In other words, money doesn't always guarantee happiness, but you're right, it does help.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Feb 8, 2010 17:30:34 GMT -5
From my perspective, I can say with certainty that the chair altered forever my conception of "happiness", as well as my level of appreciation of a true heart, a rare gem to be cherished above all else. Constantly adapting to a changing and superficial world, my life has always been most satisfying and content and exciting and felt whole when it was shared at the deepest level, a level indulging of the physical, but exceeding the temporal nature of now to a place where I was a part of a common lust for a shared dream. Raw potential excites me to the core. So I have always found a unique measure of happiness in building a unified dream with someone I love that yields the common goals and mutual expectations of our relationship, mapping and ultimately defining it, presenting a common and united purpose and direction. The feeling of belonging and creating something bigger and more significant than oneself alone could ever dare accomplish is a wonderful gift for which we all hunger; it is love in motion -- a beautiful experience indeed. Yes, you are scattering profundity all over the place... I like it. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Post by BA on Feb 8, 2010 17:31:30 GMT -5
From my perspective, I can say with certainty that the chair altered forever my conception of "happiness", as well as my level of appreciation of a true heart, a rare gem to be cherished above all else. Constantly adapting to a changing and superficial world, my life has always been most satisfying and content and exciting and felt whole when it was shared at the deepest level, a level indulging of the physical, but exceeding the temporal nature of now to a place where I was a part of a common lust for a shared dream. Raw potential excites me to the core. So I have always found a unique measure of happiness in building a unified dream with someone I love that yields the common goals and mutual expectations of our relationship, mapping and ultimately defining it, presenting a common and united purpose and direction. The feeling of belonging and creating something bigger and more significant than oneself alone could ever dare accomplish is a wonderful gift for which we all hunger; it is love in motion -- a beautiful experience indeed. Ok, well wowsie - this is IT bang on. However, the way you speak it sounds as if you have already met quite a few of these people with whom you share a "common lust for a shared dream". Are those people still in your life? I'll tell you, if I met just one, as you described, I'd hold on forever and a day!!!
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Post by €squire on Feb 9, 2010 8:58:30 GMT -5
Thanks Tony. Your words have entertained me for years, so I consider that a high complement. Esquire, I feel I need to clarify my statement about being with the perfect person...I did not mean just sexually. I meant "being" with him, sharing our lives together and that includes all aspects of a relationship. Thought I needed to clarify before anyone one this board saw me as a predator of wheelies LOL Bella, don't be clarifying at me, silly girl. I surely never intended to insinuate that you were predating upon anyone. Your partner is a very lucky man. Ok, well wowsie - this is IT bang on. However, the way you speak it sounds as if you have already met quite a few of these people with whom you share a "common lust for a shared dream". Are those people still in your life? I'll tell you, if I met just one, as you described, I'd hold on forever and a day!!! I have been in several very fulfilling relationships, two of which I count as life changing. I have loved and lost, but loved no less completely. And I know the pain of wounds that may never heal. But sometimes holding on is not an option, and sometimes one has to know when to let go.
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