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Post by rollnthundr on Nov 26, 2005 20:47:59 GMT -5
I have been reading this post with some interest. In the past I always got in trouble with other gimps because of my ideas on the subject of work. I never thought that work was an "Alfa male" thing, just something every man should do.
I have always thought that most disabled don't work because of their own fears more than lack of opportunity. fears like being late, bowel or bladder accidents, or just failure. I have worked in 2 careers since my accident, (business and recreation therapy) both times I found getting a job fairly easy and even employers going out of their way to hire the disabled. I have also found employers very understanding of my unique problems.
I know that there are some disabilities or circumstances that make it very hard to work full time. Also, that some people just don't have the skills to get a job that would pay enough to support them. However, I think that you owe it to your family, your community but most importantly to yourself to do something that makes you feel productive. Even if thats reading to kids at the local library at least your giving something back.
I hate to say this but, I know there are several murderball players who stay on ssi so they can continue to play the sport without having to worry about getting time off work for games or travel. Even several of the ones who are sponsored are on ssi and don't report their sponsorship. This used to drive me up a wall when I was involved with the sport.
I'm glad to see that there are several other gimps who feel as I do, and women who respect a hard working man. Keep up the good work guys.
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Post by vivi on Nov 26, 2005 21:24:48 GMT -5
I never thought that work was an "Alfa male" thing, just something every man should do.... .....I'm glad to see that there are several other gimps who feel as I do, and women who respect a hard working man. Keep up the good work guys. One of the reasons I broke up with Mr.Vivi is because things started to go wrong for him in business, and instead of rising to the occasion and looking for alternate ways to support his family, he just let himself be beaten. There were a lot of issues going on at the time, but I was still disappointed to see the fight gone from him. I love to be able to look up to and admire the man I'm with (well, in the case of a wheeler, not literally), even if the work he does isn't all that high paying. I hope I made sense... ;D
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Post by rollerboylover on Nov 26, 2005 21:43:46 GMT -5
I have been reading this post with some interest. In the past I always got in trouble with other gimps because of my ideas on the subject of work. I never thought that work was an "Alfa male" thing, just something every man should do. I have always thought that most disabled don't work because of their own fears more than lack of opportunity. fears like being late, bowel or bladder accidents, or just failure. I have worked in 2 careers since my accident, (business and recreation therapy) both times I found getting a job fairly easy and even employers going out of their way to hire the disabled. I have also found employers very understanding of my unique problems. I know that there are some disabilities or circumstances that make it very hard to work full time. Also, that some people just don't have the skills to get a job that would pay enough to support them. However, I think that you owe it to your family, your community but most importantly to yourself to do something that makes you feel productive. Even if thats reading to kids at the local library at least your giving something back. I hate to say this but, I know there are several murderball players who stay on ssi so they can continue to play the sport without having to worry about getting time off work for games or travel. Even several of the ones who are sponsored are on ssi and don't report their sponsorship. This used to drive me up a wall when I was involved with the sport. I'm glad to see that there are several other gimps who feel as I do, and women who respect a hard working man. Keep up the good work guys. My husband found it hard to continue playing w/c basketball for the same reasons. It was frustrating to hear how easy some guys had it, financially that is, due to there disability pension and everything else. I think it's even harder to accept when the person has caused themselves their injury, usually by drinking and driving... and subsequently crashing and is now coasting through life on a disability pension. Very very frustrating for those who have struggled through whatever situation, whether it be being born with a disability or developping a crippling diseases or even surviving a life altering accident and still trying there hardest to be self-sufficient. Very difficult to play sports with those who in fact, abuse the system. Ok done my rant.... all this to agree that a self-sufficient, working crip is da bomb.
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Post by BA on Nov 27, 2005 10:43:55 GMT -5
ha, this loser crip has no choice then but to crawl under my loser rock nothing like such a topic and eloquent opinions to make a dude feel good about himself as a crip ;D. Stude, your situation is quite different. You have a high level injury and alot of medical issues. I am talking about being pissed off by the guys who have the time and energy to devote hours and hours to demanding wheelchair sports and are in probably superb physical shape, but can't get off their ass to make a living. It's that attitude of entitlement that I have zero patience or sympathy for. These are the same kind of guys I would expect to be very selfish in a relationship as well.
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Post by LadyLuvsParas on Nov 27, 2005 12:06:29 GMT -5
I'm fairly certain I would not like the job of deciding who the "deserving" pwds are personally. I do know that I'd rather have the rules be "too lax" and include a few people who may not belong on the rosters than have them be "too strict" and exclude people who do. Having said that, I do hope this isn't gonna turn into a political debate as I don't think anyone's minds will be changed on the matter and these things do sometimes tend to get ugly!
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Post by rollerboylover on Nov 27, 2005 12:33:34 GMT -5
ha, this loser crip has no choice then but to crawl under my loser rock nothing like such a topic and eloquent opinions to make a dude feel good about himself as a crip ;D. Stude, your situation is quite different. You have a high level injury and alot of medical issues. I am talking about being pissed off by the guys who have the time and energy to devote hours and hours to demanding wheelchair sports and are in probably superb physical shape, but can't get off their ass to make a living. It's that attitude of entitlement that I have zero patience or sympathy for. These are the same kind of guys I would expect to be very selfish in a relationship as well. I'm with you AB! These are the people we found hard to be around. Stude, everyone has been dealt a different hand we know and some situations make it very hard to hold any kind of a job this is true. But when you get to know some of these guys who in fact have much lower injuries then most on the team and have no intention of working for a living and are quite honest about it, watching them breeze through everything is a bit insulting. These are guys who have worked all of three months to 3 years of their life and because they made a stupid decision that brought them to where they now *sit* feel like the world owes them everything and so they take whatever comes their way ranting or raving about it. Not like they have been paying taxes for years, you know. It is very difficult to accept when you are dealt a hand after having paid taxes and pension plans and yet because you are a high functioning para (not high functioning enough to be walking I should add) you can't get a cent back, of money you have paid into a pension for over 20 years because you are not deemed disabled enough by the powers that be. Money you thought was coming back to you in your old age or if you became disabled. Was all I wanted to express on this subject. Was actually intending to show support and agreement to what rollnthundr was saying. Didn't mean to make you feel unworthy.
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Post by rollerboylover on Nov 27, 2005 12:51:45 GMT -5
I hate to say this but, I know there are several murderball players who stay on ssi so they can continue to play the sport without having to worry about getting time off work for games or travel. Even several of the ones who are sponsored are on ssi and don't report their sponsorship. This used to drive me up a wall when I was involved with the sport. I'm glad to see that there are several other gimps who feel as I do, and women who respect a hard working man. Keep up the good work guys. Someone has to be turning a blind eye to it all, which is the most frustrating in all this. How could they not know the players are sponsored? Especially after the Murderball movie came out. Maybe there's a chance now that the playing field will be levelled out? No more ssi for those with sponsorships. Who am I kidding?
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Post by matisse on Nov 27, 2005 15:15:37 GMT -5
It's easy to underestimate the extent to which so many jobs require physical things that many of us cannot do. I try not to pass judgment and just appreciate that, at least initially, where we end up has a lot to do with plain old luck.
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Post by mrjefffurz on Nov 27, 2005 16:18:32 GMT -5
i need to chime in on this,,,and i hope this doesnt become politcal cuz ladyloveydovey is right,,,u aint changin my mind & i aint changin yours so why waste the emotion?....i didnt get any pension from the fire dept. cuz i was hurt off the job & only had 5 yrs paid into the system,,,couldnt get ssdi cuz firefighters dont pay into SSA,,,had zero for the first 5 yrs,,,then i used a modest inheritence to buy a small biz....ran the biz & paid into the system for 4 yrs when health issues forced me to sell out (that biz is still going 15 yrs later)...but that 4 yrs (and a "business" divorce) got me ssdi/ssi & medicare/caid.....now i get $599/mo..rent is $535 plus utiltities...knowing u cant live a real life on ssdi,,,i work @ my craft in an industry whre 40%,,at least,,is done under the table...being the man that my daddy growed up i do this for me...for my self-esteem....and if the current economy here runs dry i'll go to the temp agency and take whatever i can get @ $7/hr...to do otherwise...well,,it just aint gonna happen,,,ok,,end of my rant...
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Post by Pisti on Nov 27, 2005 16:30:23 GMT -5
I think I expressed already that according to my understanding a succesful person is someone who does what he really likes to do. If he can get someone to pay for that he is even more successful... According to this line of thinking: Stude with his cars is much more succesful than I am, even though my salary isn't that bad, and of the 6 proposed jobs I got the one I felt the closest to my heart (it was only after I started to work that I found out how wrong I have been... ) If we are talking about non-working people: How about my friend in France who is living on state aid due to depression? I'm not telling you that depression isn't a problem - i have it, too. It's in the family - fulfilled suicides all over our history... I stopped the medication, becase it made it only worst. I dive instead. It is calm, silent, peaceful, and whenever I feel that I cannot bear it any longer I still have the possibility to go down 30-40 meters and throw away the air supply. And of course I'm aware of the fact that not working would just make the situation worst... And how about those youngsters who at the age of 25-30 are still living with their parents, eating their bread, drinking their milk and not wanting to work at all...
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Post by BA on Nov 27, 2005 21:24:09 GMT -5
the alpha male described at the start of this post is not the type of man that is going to be at home when you get back form work to share dinner with (or cook it) Where I live two people must work in order to make enough money to afford a house where starting prices are $400K (unless one is exceedingly well paid, ie. over $150K per year). I expect that if I stay in this area of the US both my partner and I will have to work. We will also both have to divide up the household chores, including cooking, shopping, laundry and child-care. Perhaps one day we will have time for sex, lol. Well that is the state of affairs in the tri-state area. Two working people, kids, cars, bills and no sex. Maybe it's time to move.
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Post by V on Nov 28, 2005 4:06:44 GMT -5
I wouldn't describe my husband as an "alpha male". My dictionary describes alpha as "the socially dominant individual" which is I think how it works in the ol' animal kingdom and he's not. He's more the brainy, quiet type. However, he does have the ambition, the brains, the drive, the dream, the job, the income, etc. He also works about 80-90 hours a week. We struggle sometimes because of this. As leilia says, this is not the type of guy who is going to be home for dinner every night (unless you want to consistently eat after 9:00 -- which is often too late for me). He is, however, very relationship oriented. I have veto power over the job. If it gets to the point where I hate it too much, I tell him, and he quits. We're actually at a point where we're considering this. Come February (after the bonus ), there will be decisions to make. I think you can't really say a guy is either super-motivated/ambitious/high-profile/whatever or relationship-oriented. He can be both, it just involves a lot of compromise. (And, for the record, the super high earning job that entails 90-hour work weeks? It's totally not worth it.)
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Post by V on Nov 28, 2005 5:01:40 GMT -5
I totally hear you, leilia. I have those conversations with myself all the time. When the answer isn't 'yes' anymore, it's time for a heart to heart.
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Post by matisse on Nov 28, 2005 13:08:28 GMT -5
Going from a high powered, high paying job, to something short of that, would be difficult in the absence of being indpendently wealthy or retirement.
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Post by V on Nov 28, 2005 14:56:28 GMT -5
Going from a high powered, high paying job, to something short of that, would be difficult in the absence of being indpendently wealthy or retirement. Difficult but not impossible. There comes a point where you have to make decisions. There comes a point where the money isn't worth it and where there is more difficulty in keeping your relationship together in the face of this job than there would be in adjusting your lifestyle. Just my two cents. And I have been at that point before.
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