Kick ass wheelers

[matisse]

I am wondering if devo women are more likely, less likely, or equally likely to be interested in alpha-male type of wheelers, as the rest of the female population. Would you be willing to be in a serious relationship with a wheeler who:

1. Was smarter than you
2. Made more money than you
3. Had a "higher profile" job than you
4. Was busier than you
5. Was fully independent physically, either by paying a PCA or doing it himself
6. More ambitious than you

Assume the guy's not an ass, he's a nice person, etc., but all of the above is true. Say, for example, he is a VP at McKinsey or something like that.

[vivi]

Yes, I would be all for that...

[lisa]

Intelligence, drive, and independence are bigger attractions to me than the chair. A wheeler with these attributes would be my ideal man....

[LadyLuvsParas]

If ya find that guy send him over!!! ;D Seriously, I think I'd much rather have a guy who's just as smart as me. He can certainly know more because I love to learn new things but if he was too much smarter I think we'd get bored with each other.

[dolly]

sounds good to me!

[BA]

lisa said:

Intelligence, drive, and independence are bigger attractions to me than the chair. A wheeler with these attributes would be my ideal man....

I second that Lisa. Although the sensitive, artistic type can win me over too, as long as he's not too self-absorbed.

[vivi]

What interests me the most is that he has interesting conversation and is intelligent. I also like the artsy types, but basically any guy who has a good personality.

[Chan]

As long as he makes me laugh, I'm good to go.

[mrjefffurz]

hmmm,,,im sorta artistic..as long as i dont hafta ,,like,,u know,,create something....im a financial wizard in that i have managed to keep the same $5 in the same bank account since 1977....im intelligent enough to never know more than the woman that i am with....im independent enuff to be comfortable with being pushed around a mall,,,,amphitheatre concert,,,im a poor medicaid crip so i will never make more money than most anybody *wink wink nudge nudge*.....and if there is a woman who enjoys my company around i can lose my tendency toward self-absorption if i have to...too bad i have a sucky attitude, personality & totally lack a sense of humor..(all id have to do to make u laff, lady chan, would be make love to you...

[devogirl]

Matisse, why do you even ask this question? Are you still not convinced that we devos want an an independent, successful guy? Are you expecting us to say, well, no, I want to be with a cripple so I can control him and generally feel superior? Because judging from the posts here, none of us feel that way, I know I certainly don't.
But as you know, those kick-ass type wheelers are quite rare. I've heard the unemployment rate among disabled people is around 80% (please correct me if I'm wrong, I wish it were much lower). Among the disabled guys I have known personally (in real life, not on the internet) not a single one had a real job, and only one had even a freelance sort of situation. When I dated Rollerboy, I came in for a lot of criticism for expressing a wish that he find a job, ie, that I wasn't being sensitive enough to his disability, that not everyone can be the kind of supercrip one sees in movies (like Murderball). But IMHO, saying that it's ok for someone to languish on SSI and spend all his time watching TV and playing video games just because he has an SCI is more discriminatory than expecting him to go out and do something with his life like everyone else.

[Pisti]

matisse said:

1. Was smarter than you
2. Made more money than you
3. Had a "higher profile" job than you
4. Was busier than you
5. Was fully independent physically, either by paying a PCA or doing it himself
6. More ambitious than you

Hey, Matisse!
That's the guy I'm looking for... Do you know him? Tell him, I'm interested!

But actually it does not really matter what he does and on which level... If I can imagine him to make me laugh after 10-20 years of relationship, too, he is the winner.

[V]

I disagree that all of that makes an alpha male, but, theoretically, I wouldn't have any issues with any of those criteria.

I do tend to more enjoy the intellectual equal than someone who's smarter than me, per se, but that's by no means a rule. I have a hard time with people less smart than me. It's a big failing of mine.

[BA]

devogirl said:

.
But as you know, those kick-ass type wheelers are quite rare. I've heard the unemployment rate among disabled people is around 80% (please correct me if I'm wrong, I wish it were much lower). Among the disabled guys I have known personally (in real life, not on the internet) not a single one had a real job, and only one had even a freelance sort of situation. ). But IMHO, saying that it's ok for someone to languish on SSI and spend all his time watching TV and playing video games just because he has an SCI is more discriminatory than expecting him to go out and do something with his life like everyone else.

I can't agree with you more on that one Devogirl! However, of the two dis. guys I dated in my lifetime, both had full-time jobs and successful careers at that. I absolutely want someone who is my equal or at least someone who is oriented towards growth and acheivement in one way or another. It may be that he has mastered a certain craft or that he is exceptionally smart or insightful. As long as he has something to teach me.

Hey Jeffruz. You still have your first $5? So does my cousin. In our family we call him CHEAP!

lol.

[rebecca]

Okay, so Theoretical Man is busy, smart, in a demanding job/profession/career.

Does he have time for me? Can our schedules possibly mesh? Is he smart enough to figure out a way to make more time for us?

As was mentioned previously, can he make me laugh and does he appreciate my sense of humor?

Does he, can he, respect me even though I'm struggling financially, working a high-pressure but low-visibility job?

And again, how can we work it out to fit comfortably into each other's life?

If I end up speaking to his admin more than I speak to him, it just ain't gonna work.

[Pisti]

v said:

I disagree that all of that makes an alpha male,...

True, true... In our family my grandfater has been the "alpha" - he passed away few years ago, and he is missed by everyone.
He was not too schooled, but he had a high emotional inteligence - or we could say he was a wise man. He could communicate with everyone on his or her level.
He never had a high profile job, but he did always what he enjoyed. He also had several hobbies, and when he changed his job, he usually kept the old one as a hobby.
He was reliable, nice, but he had also strickt values that had to be kept. If you could not keep those values for some obvious reason, he was also very understanding. If you did some stupidities, he was patient.
But if you did not keep your word you gave him - you got a punishment, even if you were an adult with children on your own.
He kept all our secrets, he knew all our dreams. He was able to push us on the right path with a simple look or few words.
Everyone discussed with him his problems, accepted his advise or critic.
He loved everyone, he was loved by everyone - even his brother with whom he didn't talk for years for some stupid reason...

It is hard to explain, what made him an "alpha" but he really was the leader of our little pack.
My father has a sweet personality, too, is much more intelligent than my grandfather was, does what he likes to do, is there when we need him - but he isn't an alpha at all... In fact he lost his "leader", too.

Actually that "alpha" type of person is what I'm looking for in each and every man.

And before someone asks it: no, my grandfather was not disabled (just by his high age lately).