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Post by wheelieInCali on Feb 17, 2011 19:13:27 GMT -5
WOW,,,,, no no, hang on,,,, WOOOOW!!! Where are the devs like you in my town? Now theres a thought! Lets face it, you are a "hottie" and most "hotties" tend to flock together. Usually at the "Sexy People" bars and clubs, right? I mean we cant just have any common fodder mucking up the "sexy" gene pool. ((((YES, I know ive just slaughtered about 6 million rules of morality and common sense,,,, for a reason,,,, bare with me)))) My question being ((if you are of the "sexy flockers")) How would your sexy friends take it if you hooked up with a really, really fugly looking wheelie?,,,,,, like E for example. (((PLEASE NOTE, I am being TOTALLY "tounge in cheek" here!))) We all know we are as good as anyone else and that E isnt all that fugly,,, mostly. My point in simple terms is how would your friends take you dating a wheeler? I ask this because ive found it to be a VERY good indicator of the true nature of the friends we "think" we know. Sure we all think we know our nearest and dearest, but ive seen on several occassions where their opinions vary depending on who they are talking to. And we all know, "talk" usually gets back to us eventually. What im talking about here is the bullsh!t and plain wrong social assumptions that go with dating a disabled partner,,,,,,, and fugly people Well that was a lot more than i planned to type. Ouch, WTF was that? It looked like you started flirting then made a horrible wrong turn into ugly land. Was that you're way of telling her she was beautiful by then bashing everybody in the world who is attractive? I'm going to sound so cliche when i say this, but.. It's always, ALWAYS, been about personality for me. Sure, I think plenty of guys are attractive, (believe me, i'm always looking, hehe.) but I can never truly have feelings for someone until I know their PERSONALITY. So, when it comes back to the being "fugly" thing, it really isnt a focus for me at all. When I see an attractive disabled guy, I always wonder if he is anti-dev, because i know so many disabled guys are! and that sucks! lol I can understand why someone would be anti-dev, but i wonder just how much of the disabled population is anti-dev, or even knows about devs. I don't think the numbers are good for me. I think that what a lot of anti-devs don't understand is that just because someone is a dev, doesn't mean we will date ANYONE with a disability. For example, a disabled guy that is rude/cocky/jealous, is a deal breaker. Being a dev (to me) means you are attracted to disabled men, but you are not willing to overlook something major to be with him. That's just my opinion. I hope that made sense, lol. You keep that up and your gonna sprout wings n a halo DONT GO TO THE LIGHT!!!! The light is bad mkay! Anyway, halos arent all they are made out to be. Try wearing a sparkler on your head without setting fire to your hair. We've all seen something like that on Funniest Home Video/Idiots, yes? "Awwww, isnt she pretty,,,, WOOOFF, AHHHHH, call 911, call 911,,,, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP!!! Ok, that's a little better but not much. FYI, when flirting try to keep the comments about hair catching on fire to a minimum. This isn't elementary school, we don't throw rocks at the girls we have a crush on. You just threw up quite a few red flags man.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 17, 2011 19:31:53 GMT -5
I think that what a lot of anti-devs don't understand is that just because someone is a dev, doesn't mean we will date ANYONE with a disability. For example, a disabled guy that is rude/cocky/jealous, is a deal breaker. Being a dev (to me) means you are attracted to disabled men, but you are not willing to overlook something major to be with him. It's not just the anti-devs that think that way, unfortunately. Not typically on this board, but you will occasionally run into guys who think devs should be all over them just because they're disabled. I'm not really sure where that thinking comes from, and it can be off-putting. Dating rules apply to devs too!! The right guy will accept your inner dev - it's a lot easier to understand and accept when they're TALKING to a dev, and not just reading bad stalker dev stories online or something. Best of luck exploring your devoteeism (it's a word in MY language) and finding your man!
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Post by allison101 on Feb 17, 2011 23:31:14 GMT -5
Ruth- I'd like to hear that as well. (:
I don't think anyone's flirting with me lol. there are some very beautiful girls on here that i am very ordinary next to!
z28gal- has that ever happened to you personally? running into a guy who expected you to be all over him just because you were a dev?
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Post by collide on Feb 18, 2011 7:57:58 GMT -5
WOW,,,,, no no, hang on,,,, WOOOOW!!! Where are the devs like you in my town? Now theres a thought! Lets face it, you are a "hottie" and most "hotties" tend to flock together. Usually at the "Sexy People" bars and clubs, right? I mean we cant just have any common fodder mucking up the "sexy" gene pool. ((((YES, I know ive just slaughtered about 6 million rules of morality and common sense,,,, for a reason,,,, bare with me)))) My question being ((if you are of the "sexy flockers")) How would your sexy friends take it if you hooked up with a really, really fugly looking wheelie?,,,,,, like E for example. (((PLEASE NOTE, I am being TOTALLY "tounge in cheek" here!))) We all know we are as good as anyone else and that E isnt all that fugly,,, mostly. My point in simple terms is how would your friends take you dating a wheeler? I ask this because ive found it to be a VERY good indicator of the true nature of the friends we "think" we know. Sure we all think we know our nearest and dearest, but ive seen on several occassions where their opinions vary depending on who they are talking to. And we all know, "talk" usually gets back to us eventually. What im talking about here is the bullsh!t and plain wrong social assumptions that go with dating a disabled partner,,,,,,, and fugly people Well that was a lot more than i planned to type. Ouch, WTF was that? It looked like you started flirting then made a horrible wrong turn into ugly land. Was that you're way of telling her she was beautiful by then bashing everybody in the world who is attractive? You keep that up and your gonna sprout wings n a halo DONT GO TO THE LIGHT!!!! The light is bad mkay! Anyway, halos arent all they are made out to be. Try wearing a sparkler on your head without setting fire to your hair. We've all seen something like that on Funniest Home Video/Idiots, yes? "Awwww, isnt she pretty,,,, WOOOFF, AHHHHH, call 911, call 911,,,, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP!!! Ok, that's a little better but not much. FYI, when flirting try to keep the comments about hair catching on fire to a minimum. This isn't elementary school, we don't throw rocks at the girls we have a crush on. You just threw up quite a few red flags man.[/quote] LMAOROF, Nooo I wasnt flirting,, BAHAHAHA Yes she is deffinately cute to me, but no I wasnt flirting at all. How could you possibly see that as flirting? Im not sure how you related general compliments to someone I would most likely never meet in person,,, to flirting
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Post by collide on Feb 18, 2011 8:15:16 GMT -5
I will admit that even though personality matters a lot for a real relationship, I have been known to get blinded by attraction and ignore HUGE red flags. I've gotten myself into some bad situations because of that. I've never had a friend object to me dating a wheeler to my face, who knows what they say about me in private?! Then again, the majority of my friends know that it's what I like. Im pretty proud and incredibly impressed by Ruth's outwardness and honesty too. And she's quite the cutie also, but does that mean im flirting with her by saying that? As far as I see it, compliments apply to the net, in that the two involved would most likely never meet in person. So its simply a warm and friendly acknowledgment of the apparent. Whereas flirting would suggest one of the two involved would hope to hook up and (CLEARLY STATE THAT). Then theres "dogging" someone, right? Where you take their statements and pick them to pieces.
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Post by collide on Feb 18, 2011 8:18:01 GMT -5
I don't think anyone's flirting with me lol. Allison get's it
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Feb 18, 2011 9:13:49 GMT -5
z28gal- has that ever happened to you personally? running into a guy who expected you to be all over him just because you were a dev? Yes, it has - a couple of times actually! Just returning a friendly IM was misconstrued as flying a massive SINGLE AND AVAILABLE banner (which is another issue entirely), and from there it was a quick leap to a pretty cocky "She wants me" attitude. If it had only happened once, I would have brushed it off, but that's not the case, and I'm pretty sure some of the other girls have run into similar situations. Maybe they had run into other devs that were just looking for a quick dev fix before, and got the impression that all devs were like that... Who knows!
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Post by Emma on Feb 18, 2011 11:11:48 GMT -5
What z28 describes has also happened to me. As everyone can see at the bottom of all my posts I have always had my yahoo ID saying if anyone is looking to chat to IM me (I did not always have the explanation that I'm married however). I have gotten lots of random IMs but the majority of them have been from guys who just pop on my screen and say something like "hi I use a wheelchair" and that's all.
When I respond with something like "ok, so who are you" or "cool so what's up" they usually say something implying I'm interested in them. Thats why I have had to add the part about being married and even with that I get people popping on my screen. Allison I'm sure it will happen to you once the guys catch on to you being here.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Feb 18, 2011 11:24:41 GMT -5
Oh well, that's three IM's I can forget about sending now to Emma, Z28gal and Allison101!!!
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Post by Emma on Feb 18, 2011 11:37:59 GMT -5
Phil I just need to play Captain Obvious for a sec in case you or others here are missing our point.
I'm happy to talk to guys about dev stuff. It's just that the guys here need to understand that just because they use a wheelchair does not mean all devs here will immediately be interested in them sexually or even that all devs here are single. It has been said many times; this is not a dating site, it's a discussion site that some people use for dating as well.
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Phil
Junior Member
Posts: 82
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Post by Phil on Feb 18, 2011 11:55:11 GMT -5
Not missing your point at all Emma. It's just my English brand of humour!! I hope I'd never assume any woman on here would be interested in me simply because I have a disability. I'm far too polite and English for that!
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Post by Pony on Feb 18, 2011 17:57:46 GMT -5
I just want to thank all the Devs that have been PMing me lately bcoz I'm in a chair. Look, I'm only one man...please be patient if I haven't written back yet. ; ) Oh, btw, I'm straight...lol
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Post by jordsbaby on Feb 18, 2011 17:58:56 GMT -5
z28gal- has that ever happened to you personally? running into a guy who expected you to be all over him just because you were a dev? Yes, it has - a couple of times actually! Just returning a friendly IM was misconstrued as flying a massive SINGLE AND AVAILABLE banner (which is another issue entirely), and from there it was a quick leap to a pretty cocky "She wants me" attitude. If it had only happened once, I would have brushed it off, but that's not the case, and I'm pretty sure some of the other girls have run into similar situations. Maybe they had run into other devs that were just looking for a quick dev fix before, and got the impression that all devs were like that... Who knows! Although it's calmed down now, I still get it heaps. People who say "Hi i'm disabled." then closely followed by a bit of small talk, the "why do you like disabled people? do you like me!?!?" then the thousand rejected webcam requests and finally getting so frustrated that you just log off altogether. I do it a lot, it's part of the reason I spend so little time on yahoo these days. Even existing members who are added on there that think my lack of attraction to them will magically change overnight.
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Post by Ray T on Feb 19, 2011 2:47:15 GMT -5
I just want to thank all the Devs that have been PMing me lately bcoz I'm in a chair. Look, I'm only one man...please be patient if I haven't written back yet. ; ) Oh, btw, I'm straight...lol Hey Tony if they get to much for you to handle just forward them to me and i will help you answer them... LOL
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Post by collide on Feb 19, 2011 11:21:05 GMT -5
Not missing your point at all Emma. It's just my English brand of humour!! I hope I'd never assume any woman on here would be interested in me simply because I have a disability. I'm far too polite and English for that! Dude, you crack me up. I "think" i get the Brittish humor ;D In any sense, I get a laugh.
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