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Post by MotorcycleCrash on Dec 30, 2014 21:01:38 GMT -5
Has there been a change of convention for naming sci's that I don't know about. No one sent me a telegram! In the good old days, if you had a cervical sci, you invariably had 4 limbs affected and we're classified a quadriplegic or tetraplegic. A thorasic or lumbar injury meant you are a para or paraplegic. Now 2 guys have just said they are c5 and C4 paras WTF is going on? Do I need a new paradigm? I was being sarcastic when I said it… Doesn't translate well, LOL
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Post by wonk on Dec 30, 2014 23:27:44 GMT -5
Ha ha, sorry dude, I missed the sarcasm. The other guy has mentioned twice he is a para. The last time this happened the guy turned out to be the infamous faker who hired the van
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Post by rebel6842 on Dec 30, 2014 23:59:01 GMT -5
I sometimes feel people don't look at each other enough anymore...everyone just goes about their business not really seeing the world around themselves anymore with the people in it, people are too pre occupied looking at their stupid phones or just staring seriously into space. At my work place we have a "rule" to always keep our heads up in the hallways and greet each other and people from the outside with a smile, nod or a "Hi", it is part of my companies standards.....I don't think that every person maybe looking a bit longer or even too long means any harm in it, it is just curiosity about life and people....I always get thrown off with some of the responses of the wheelers on here, some say they don't want a person to look at them at all and some say they don't want anyone to ask them about their situation...it seems one can't make it right either way and that makes me super insecure around the wheelers because I don't know how to act...should I smile at you, totally obviously check you out or keep my eyes on the ground, or start chatting...I don't know sometimes! While it's true that people don't seem to have time for social graces, etc-just keep flashing that smile, doll-we'll notice
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Post by rollingman on Dec 31, 2014 0:26:10 GMT -5
I sometimes feel people don't look at each other enough anymore...everyone just goes about their business not really seeing the world around themselves anymore with the people in it, people are too pre occupied looking at their stupid phones or just staring seriously into space. At my work place we have a "rule" to always keep our heads up in the hallways and greet each other and people from the outside with a smile, nod or a "Hi", it is part of my companies standards.....I don't think that every person maybe looking a bit longer or even too long means any harm in it, it is just curiosity about life and people....I always get thrown off with some of the responses of the wheelers on here, some say they don't want a person to look at them at all and some say they don't want anyone to ask them about their situation...it seems one can't make it right either way and that makes me super insecure around the wheelers because I don't know how to act...should I smile at you, totally obviously check you out or keep my eyes on the ground, or start chatting...I don't know sometimes! While it's true that people don't seem to have time for social graces, etc-just keep flashing that smile, doll-we'll notice I like the keep smiling part. Personally I live in the country, so when I got out and about I love to talk to those around me. I confess that when I see folks looking at me, I use it as an excuse to make conversation. So please smile at me all you want, and talk till the sun goes down. If a wheeler is real busy, then let them get on with what they are doing, but if they are just sitting around ( no pun intended) I'm sure most wheelers would be more then happy to talk to you about most things in life. So its all good, just be yourself and do what ever feels right to you. I've had some great conversations in the produce section of the grocery store. Its not like you are going to drag someone off, and have your way with them, after all. Wow I could sure use some of that dragging off though. Its all good Dani.
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Post by rebel6842 on Dec 31, 2014 1:31:10 GMT -5
I have a question: How angry are you really?The question may sound strange, but I'm actually curious about this. A friend recently told me about this triple amputee he knows who works as some kind of motivational speaker and always acts totally positive about his disability, but sometimes when he's angry he really lashes out on everyone and everything and then brings up how ignorant people are and how they have no idea about his life. So I thought a little about this and I have the feeling that some disabled guys, especially those who "acquired" their disability, have this huge anger that's sometimes not on the surface. For example, we've had members here in the past who showed up seeming like grounded types who were all at peace with their situation (and with devs) and then suddenly, either on the board or behind the scenes some argument caused them to erupt in rage, showing how they really felt about their disability. Same with some disability rights activists who kind of hate everyone whose AB (I know it's a cliché, but they do exist). So I may be wrong, but it seems often like that with some there is an anger deep inside, kind of ingrained. How do you guys feel about that? Do you feel angry or did in the past? If so, how did you overcome it? If you still feel angry, do you plan to change that or is your anger just part of you? I would love to hear some honest answers, though I realize it may be a touchy subject. If you're asking if I take anger out on other people-no I don't. But, having CP does piss me off, for a myriad of reasons. However, the alternative of just giving up on life isn't a realistic option, so I just swallow the anger-and keep on moving...
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 1, 2015 0:52:14 GMT -5
so here's another question!! how many of you wheelers think you are sexy (the way we devs do)? Having not diven into the mind of a dev-yet-I feel glouriously unqualified to answer that question. However, when my body and I are on the same page, I feel pretty damn good
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 1, 2015 1:02:04 GMT -5
I posted this on the General Board with mainly devs responsing, understandably, but I'd like to hear from a few guys too. For what reason did you join PD and then keep returning as a member? To understand female devotees? The females? Hook up? Make Friends? To be prepared for public encounters with unknown devs? Or? When I can clearly articulate it, I'll do it
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 1, 2015 1:54:50 GMT -5
Alright, I've been wondering this before and after I found PD. (I didn't even know there was a word for my fetish before, I just knew what I was into) "I know many disabled people are very, for the lack of a better word, "into" devs or just like the idea of them, but nothing is 100%, so what are some things that you guys don't like about devs? Or things that just doesn't stroke you the right way?" I don't know whether it's something I don't like, or just don't understand: Why the damn guilt? Listen, I absolutely get the fact that the term has negative connotations due to the actions of others, but if more of you felt like you had the freedom to "come out" and just say "Hey, I'm REALLY into disabled guys!" I can bet that many people would be supportive on the far end, or just plainly wouldn't give a damn. I know that some of you have AB partners, so it may not be easy-but why not just embrace the dev inside? You didn't cause our disabilities, nor do I believe that any of you would cause us harm. It just seems to me that the guilt is self induced in a lot of cases... I love you guys, I truly do-this is just my two cents
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jan 1, 2015 2:19:56 GMT -5
For me, the guilt started as shame even before puberty. I'm not sure if that is because I had sexual feelings about something and I didn't understand it or what. But I was aware that there was something about the way I felt about disabled peeps that needed to be hidden. For the record, my grandfather was disabled (an amputee) as was a neighbor (low or incomplete para) and there was never any stigma attached to disability in my home.
Later the guilt evolved to encompass the fact that I was into something that caused the object of my affection either pain (real, physical and/or psychological) or difficulty. Also, there is the fact that many of us are into disabilities that are the result of trauma. And, that lots of disabled people never get over the trauma and sincerely hate the fact that they're disabled.
It's a situation ripe for emotional strife.
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Post by JW on Jan 1, 2015 18:21:28 GMT -5
I posted this on the General Board with mainly devs responsing, understandably, but I'd like to hear from a few guys too. For what reason did you join PD and then keep returning as a member? To understand female devotees? The females? Hook up? Make Friends? To be prepared for public encounters with unknown devs? Or? I guess I first came here out of curiousity to find out what it really meant to be a devotee. The general impression outside of this board (as most of you know) is not positive. After reading through the posts for a few weeks and realizing that almost everyone seemed both normal and intelligent I decided to sign up in order to join in on the conversation. Of course the fact that there are women here who might find me attractive because of my disability plays a big part in that. In the regular world, my disability is always an obstacle I have to figuratively climb over in order to connect with people. It has already affected the relationships I have with certain friends and family members and has made it difficult for some people to have a normal conversation with me without them being or acting awkward. Here I don't have to worry about that. I don't know if I expected to make friends, but since I don't really have any disabled friends in my regular life, it's nice to hear what other disabled guys have to say. I'm guessing any guy coming here looking for just a hook up with a female dev wouldn't hang around too long. Would it be nice for me to meet a nice dev here and start a relationship? Definitely. Is it going to happen? While the chances are quite slim (with distance being a major issue), they are much better than me hoping to meet one out in the real world (especially in my country). Plus a little flirtation with a hot woman or two is perfectly fine, even if it doesn't necessarily lead to anything. Hell, it's more action than I've had in years. Right now, I just like coming back here, as there are interesting topics and interesting people to talk to.
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Post by JW on Jan 1, 2015 18:24:53 GMT -5
Later the guilt evolved to encompass the fact that I was into something that caused the object of my affection either pain (real, physical and/or psychological) or difficulty. Also, there is the fact that many of us are into disabilities that are the result of trauma. And, that lots of disabled people never get over the trauma and sincerely hate the fact that they're disabled. It's a situation ripe for emotional strife. Thanks for explaining. This part clarifies things a bit more for me.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Jan 1, 2015 22:39:18 GMT -5
You're welcome. It took a long time to overcome. And, for me, it took more than just "you didn't cause the injury" because there are things that I like that are a direct result of the injury. You know, physically, like most of it. The formless look of non-walking legs, the lack of sensation, the stillness... you don't get that stuff without the condition. And at it's simplest, the condition comes with serious inconveniences. More often, it comes with serious complications. Sometimes, it's flat out health threatening or damaging.
It's not a simple thing.
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Post by Kiran on Jan 2, 2015 14:08:13 GMT -5
When I was younger I don't noticed. In fact, some friends who walk around with me noticed more than myself. I confess: People staring at me still makes me unconfartable sometimes... no big deal, but if u could qoute the question ur answering that would be great, just makes everything easier to understand. I tried to search which question I was answering but, unfortunatelly I can't find it! Perhaps my big mistake was: I posted this answer in the wrong thread, after all...
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 2, 2015 20:24:00 GMT -5
Plus there's the undeniable fact that a lot of disabled guys are NOT cool with the whole dev community. To the point of hatred. Perhaps they feel threatened, fear stalker type behaviour, being objectified, perceive being seen for their disability and nothing else, are not comfortable enough with their own bodies to believe someone else could love them how they are. Plus I thought I was the only one with these feelings for the best part of 25 years. You feel different, so you hide it, with a lot of associated guilt that you feel this way in the first place. Inky, Inigo and I had a similar discussion a couple of months back, and while I don't think it was absolutely resolved-the upshot was that it's a waste of time trying to go into enemy territory to try to convert the non-believers. The best solution, IMO, is for more devs to "come across the gym", have successful relationships with the PWD's of their choice, THEN go back in and tell their stories...
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Post by rebel6842 on Jan 2, 2015 21:19:05 GMT -5
I posted this on the General Board with mainly devs responsing, understandably, but I'd like to hear from a few guys too. For what reason did you join PD and then keep returning as a member? To understand female devotees? The females? Hook up? Make Friends? To be prepared for public encounters with unknown devs? Or? When I can clearly articulate it, I'll do it While it may be de riguere to quote myself, now that I'm sufficiently de-fogged from New Year's activity, I'll answer. Some of you that have been here for a bit, bear with me: I came across the word "devotee" after a transsexual woman responded to a comment I made on FetLife about my lack of a sexual outlet-she took the time to explain more, and so I Googled the term. After seeing some of the scarier sites-yikes, I'm sorry!-I found PD, but hung out in the story section, just to get a feel for things. After tearing up quite a few times, I found the message board-and I FINALLY felt that I was on a level playing field, especially since everyone seems sane about this whole thing. While I'm still learning, I know that I would LOVE to find the dev of my dreams here, but failing that-I consider ALL of you friends, and you have my love and support...
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