josvil2605
New Member
Posts: 15
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by josvil2605 on Aug 25, 2015 12:41:52 GMT -5
i know a lot of wheelers get watched when they are out in public and so many guys over the years have expressed to me how much they hate it. resonantly someone said to me that its an invasion of his space. like im being eye raped ( he was kinda joking but not really... that's kinda how he felt). so i want to know what is about being watch that makes ppl feel uncomfortable. this question is to everyone ... but it would really be especially interesting to hear from a wheeler/ disabled guys perspective. cheers I don't like when someone see me with a face of surprise or as if I'm a freak, I could accept other kind of gaze, I'll really enjoy a flirtatious or normal gaze.
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Post by wheelchair1964 on Aug 30, 2015 2:59:22 GMT -5
I don't mind being watched, because most of the time I watch back.
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Post by PacMan on Feb 17, 2018 17:34:48 GMT -5
i know a lot of wheelers get watched when they are out in public and so many guys over the years have expressed to me how much they hate it. resonantly someone said to me that its an invasion of his space. like im being eye raped ( he was kinda joking but not really... that's kinda how he felt). so i want to know what is about being watch that makes ppl feel uncomfortable. this question is to everyone ... but it would really be especially interesting to hear from a wheeler/ disabled guys perspective. cheers I know some of you guys won’t believe me when I say this but when people stare at me it really doesn’t bother me. I guess as I’m in my 40’s and have been born all my life I am in a way used to it. When I say I’m used to it I mean I’m used and not too bothered by the people that give me a wee quick glance but turn away when they see I’ve caught them looking at me, but it’s the ones that practically take a mental photo of me that do piss me off a fair bit. The ones who have no shame and don’t care when you make full-on eye contact with them but don’t turn away or give you a wee cheerful smile and look away. Those people do piss me off I have to admit. However, as I was born with my disability and I know I look “different” and I am in a way used to it I’ve got to the stage in my life where I basically tell myself that if I saw me there’s a good chance I’d be curious too and take a sneaky wee glance to see what I’m all about. I think if I didn’t have this mind-set I’d go crazy. I’d be one of those wheelers I like to call “a crip with a chip”, those wheelers who hate the world and everyone on it. Going around with that kinda anger and energy of staring back at people just eats you up and wastes your energy, energy I’d rather use other ways.
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gimpygay
Full Member
Single
Posts: 125
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by gimpygay on Jun 27, 2018 7:17:53 GMT -5
i know a lot of wheelers get watched when they are out in public and so many guys over the years have expressed to me how much they hate it. resonantly someone said to me that its an invasion of his space. like im being eye raped ( he was kinda joking but not really... that's kinda how he felt). so i want to know what is about being watch that makes ppl feel uncomfortable. this question is to everyone ... but it would really be especially interesting to hear from a wheeler/ disabled guys perspective. cheers There are different kinds of watching. If someone is staring at you as if you had three heads who would not be angry about that? But if someone is looking at you because they find you attractive, who could possibly be offended ? I suspect that even in this day and age many Disabled people do not understand the Devotee phenomenon, and they mistake a Dev looking in an admiring way as just the usual rude staring that some AB people engage in.
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Post by robbb on Jun 29, 2018 3:02:24 GMT -5
a Dev looking in an admiring way as just the usual rude staring that some AB people engage in. This ties in with the flirting thread and the fact that I am a useless flirt. Whenever I smile at a wheeler guy I always hope he doesn't think I am one of those people who does the pittying look and smile thing. R.
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gimpygay
Full Member
Single
Posts: 125
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by gimpygay on Jun 29, 2018 4:05:08 GMT -5
a Dev looking in an admiring way as just the usual rude staring that some AB people engage in. This ties in with the flirting thread and the fact that I am a useless flirt. Whenever I smile at a wheeler guy I always hope he doesn't think I am one of those people who does the pittying look and smile thing. R. If ever you want any "Flirting with Crips Tips" let me know robb. :-)
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Post by robbb on Jun 29, 2018 4:46:06 GMT -5
If ever you want any "Flirting with Crips Tips" let me know robb. :-) Haha! Will do thanks. Problem is like a lot of devs as soon as I am near a cute para guy I am all of a dither and can't string a sentence together. R.
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gimpygay
Full Member
Single
Posts: 125
Gender: Male
Dev Status: Disabled Male
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by gimpygay on Jun 29, 2018 5:04:50 GMT -5
It would be so easy for me to say "just be yourself", so I won't bother you with that. It may help to remember that the "the cute para guy" you mentioned will probably be even more nervous than you are. It would be unrealistic for me not to tell you that, in general, we PWD are likely to be less sexually experienced than the average person. However, because of that, we tend to appreciate kindness, attention and compliments more than most. Other Crips I have talked with agree that we also value confidence and openness more as it puts us at our ease and makes us more comfortable.We tend to be good people watchers so we pick up on others attraction to us quite quickly.
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Post by bunster on Jul 2, 2018 23:48:02 GMT -5
i don' think i stare overtly. there was a young quad accompanied by a young girl ( by young i am guessing late 18-19 year olds. ) the reason i stared was i was trying to figure out their relationship. i wouldn't stare for long as i usually saw them wheeling/walking ahead of me as i turned into my driveway. never did find out, they just disappeared one day...
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Post by bunster on Jul 2, 2018 23:49:37 GMT -5
i don' think i stare overtly. there was a young quad accompanied by a young girl ( by young i am guessing late 18-19 year olds. ) the reason i stared was i was trying to figure out their relationship. i wouldn't stare for long as i usually saw them wheeling/walking ahead of me as i turned into my driveway. never did find out, they just disappeared one day...
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Post by Hopper on Jul 4, 2018 2:14:05 GMT -5
But we do have truncheons.....
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