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Post by rebel6842 on Dec 12, 2014 18:19:26 GMT -5
This is a good reminder. Also remember that the chat room linked at the top here is not moderated by us, and non-members can come in. Also all these posts can be viewed by anyone, not just members. So although we try to keep fakers out, they still have other ways they might try to contact you. On this same topic, we recently received notification from Proboards that the member using the name Drakette has been posting stolen photos under a false identity. He/she has been banned, but if you are in contact with this person off the board, be warned that he/she is most likely catfishing. If you discover stolen photos or fake identities here, please let the moderators know ASAP. I thought her behavior a bit odd, but had no idea of the catfishing. Oh well, no harm, no foul
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Post by ProudRealist on Dec 12, 2014 18:46:06 GMT -5
Sooooo, the lesson is don't trust anyone whose interested in me?
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Post by rebel6842 on Dec 12, 2014 22:49:25 GMT -5
Sooooo, the lesson is don't trust anyone whose interested in me? No, I believe the lesson is just as it would be in the AB world-Connect, flirt, have fun, PM to your heart's content. But, if after things get deep and/or your Spidey-sense goes crazy, get audio/visual proof, that's all. Now, as to WHY someone would go "fishing" here, that's another matter
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Post by devogirl on Dec 13, 2014 1:25:09 GMT -5
The lesson is if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
I'm not going to repeat the details we got from Proboards but they do have a system for reporting TOS violations. FYI anyone even non members who spot stolen photos can contact us at paradevo at yahoo.com and we will take care of it.
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Post by ProudRealist on Dec 13, 2014 4:50:38 GMT -5
I am hereby educated
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Post by nordic on Dec 13, 2014 6:58:58 GMT -5
I feel quite sad actually. I hate the idea of having to become a cynic. Not only did I have a sheltered childhood, but a sheltered adulthood too it seems. It feels like the end of an era lol. I have been part of many different social groups online. They all work different when it comes to dealing with people not being who they claim to be. It's something I occasionally even observed offline. Becoming a cynic is a choice you make freely. I personally believe there are enough frustrated, paranoid and cynic people out there who never understood that in fact a few bad apples do not spoil the bunch. Thus here is hoping you will not become one of them. P.S.: In order to prevent misunderstandings, let me reiterate that I fully agree with the thread title.
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Post by JW on Dec 14, 2014 18:28:34 GMT -5
*Just wondering to myself how on earth I managed to make it to middle age without being more savvy and then realised that, until I came here, I had never been on another forum, or interacted with other people I don't know electronically. Perhaps if I had done, I would already be wise to such things as fakers and trolls etc., Yeah, I'm a little inexperienced on the subject myself. I have generally not put myself out there that much on the internet, because of stuff like this.
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Post by happyface2013 on Dec 17, 2014 14:36:19 GMT -5
I don't get this bit though...why would a disabled guy pretend to be a dev in order to get dev attention? They wouldn't be responding to him as a man, they would be responding to him as if he was another woman. How does that work? Or did I just misread that bit? They are probably homosexual but in the process of self acceptance.
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Post by A££Y "Cuddles" Magoo on Dec 22, 2014 14:59:18 GMT -5
Excellent thread. 100% must. I've dealt with many scammers myself, so much so that I've had to put a warning on my various profiles that basically says to stay the fuck away if u can't Id yourself. It really boggles the mind how brazen some people are. And that's not even counting how many real people don't think skype is necessary to begin with. This has happened to me too. Real women who have admitted that they were dangerously close to not letting me see them on skype, or have in fact denied another person of that same request. Quite frankly, I don't which is scarier, the fact that are countless predators lurking in every corner? Or the fact that there are countless people that just don't understand how important online safety is.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 15:08:05 GMT -5
Craigslist. That's where the safe money is.
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Post by LaMara on Dec 22, 2014 15:18:09 GMT -5
This thread is making me crazy anxious... By the way around the same time I signed in on here I also started chatting with a guy on fetlife. He contacted me, he declared he's a triple congenital amputee, but after a few days when I offered to move the whole thing on skype, he refused for privacy reasons. I'm very private as well, but I wouldn't mind showing my face, so to prove I'm actually who I say I am. So... could he be a faker? But he doesn't show those "typical" faker/pretender warning signs you way more expert people have been talking about...
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Post by matisse on Dec 22, 2014 16:20:29 GMT -5
I don't get this bit though...why would a disabled guy pretend to be a dev in order to get dev attention? They wouldn't be responding to him as a man, they would be responding to him as if he was another woman. How does that work? Or did I just misread that bit? I've seen various different reasons, not limiting to just the example you gave. As B4I points out, some people are just jerks and want to troll. I've also seen some people who are a little bit mentally off, and they get something out of it. Some are actually harmless and just want to live in a fantasy world. Those can get pretty far along because they are nice and don't cause any ruckus. Some try to use it for their own personal gain. We had one pretender actually go to a wheeler and his wife's house and stay overnight. And that was actually how she got caught.
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Post by Emma on Dec 22, 2014 17:43:45 GMT -5
This thread is making me crazy anxious... By the way around the same time I signed in on here I also started chatting with a guy on fetlife. He contacted me, he declared he's a triple congenital amputee, but after a few days when I offered to move the whole thing on skype, he refused for privacy reasons. I'm very private as well, but I wouldn't mind showing my face, so to prove I'm actually who I say I am. So... could he be a faker? But he doesn't show those "typical" faker/pretender warning signs you way more expert people have been talking about... If he won't get on cam with you I'd say he is fake. There are so many fakes out there I actually don't believe any amputee is real until I see it with my own eyes. I have actually verified three of the amputees here myself just because I wanted to know if they were legit, not because I'm looking for a relationship. Triple congenital amputees are relatively rare so that's also a clue.
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Post by jturk on Dec 22, 2014 18:08:18 GMT -5
I definitely know the trouble that can arise in becoming emotionally invested in someone if you're not completely sure who they are. It didn't happen here, it was through a different community I used to post on a lot. I talked with a girl there off and on for 6 years. It took me three attempts of failing to get her to agree to meet with me or even talk on Skype, and I could almost never get on the phone with her. I ended up realizing she was just looking for attention and wasn't even in any way interested. I'm not even convinced she was necessarily a girl, it was weird but it can suck when you start to feel some way about someone you're not directly talking to. It helped me learn a lot about building healthier and more real relationships with people. One set thing as it did scare me off a little bit from meeting people through the Internet.
I'm an honest person and I don't understand why anyone would lie about who they really are but it does happen. When it happens in relatively close-knit communities like this one it can really cause a lot of problems. I'm a very private person by my own nature, and I don't generally post enough detail on forums for someone to identify me in real life just for the nature of some of the things I talk about online. But that aside if I was actually talking to someone privately through here I would want to make sure they knew I was who I said I was.
Good advice there and also some things I wouldn't have really thought about as good ways for anyone to protect themselves online.
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Post by LaMara on Dec 23, 2014 4:44:25 GMT -5
If he won't get on cam with you I'd say he is fake. There are so many fakes out there I actually don't believe any amputee is real until I see it with my own eyes. I have actually verified three of the amputees here myself just because I wanted to know if they were legit, not because I'm looking for a relationship. Triple congenital amputees are relatively rare so that's also a clue. I thought the same when he said he was very careful with his privacy online... But don't fakers usually go straight to the point? I would have imagined a lot of intimate, sexual questions from a faker, or some kind of interest for MY real identity in case he/she was after money. But there's only been very normal (and rather intelligent) conversation for over 2 weeks. Still, I think I'll demand proof and drop the whole thing if he refuses...
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