|
Post by MarineAmp on Sept 6, 2015 21:53:53 GMT -5
Let's have some compassion for an uncontrollable mental health issue We don't know that it is uncontrollable. That was the point of my questions, which have not been answered. If he "needs" to use the w/c spots but then somehow has no issues with using his legs in other situations, it's not uncontrollable. It's convenience, in which case he would be ok with screwing me, but when it comes to himself suddenly he's fine being AB. Even if it is controllable, say equal to a gay guy marry a woman and having a family. Don't you think the gay guy would have been more happy living the way they really feel? Or should everybody conform to what society says they should be doing? I doubt having this specific mental health issue is all that convenient. Why don't you just PM him and get some answers instead of just assuming what will help you plead your case. It just seems stupid to me that, you're this concerned about parking spots and bathrooms stalls. I get how offensive it is at the initial shock of pretenders and such, but everyone deserves a right to be happy and so what if it means sharing a stall with a guy in a chair who doesn't really need a chair physically. Nobody cares about bathroom stalls anyways, and I mean nobody besides disabled people, so that is already a lost battle. Stay away from Wal-mart and the Y in the morning and you're fine with disabled parking 99% of the time.
|
|
|
Post by Green on Sept 6, 2015 22:15:30 GMT -5
BIID people don't count as harming anyone (but themselves at times) and are less likely to harm themselves if we let them live as they want. Yup. As long as they don't take parking spots or wheelchair stalls not built for them. They aren't "harming" like a murderer, but it's "harming" as in hoping someone who does need a wheelchair stall at the same time. It's just mean to do that. To be compassionate about mental health isn't to say "whatever you need, just ask, as long as you don't hurt someone". We're not going to say cutters should keep cutting, for instance. The best thing to do is offer alternatives, like asking disabled people about their life. A BIID person's actions (or anyone's!) don't occur in a vacuum. I know it might seem compassion is unconditional acceptance, but it actually helps no one to be that way.
|
|
|
Post by matisse on Sept 6, 2015 22:32:54 GMT -5
We don't know that it is uncontrollable. That was the point of my questions, which have not been answered. If he "needs" to use the w/c spots but then somehow has no issues with using his legs in other situations, it's not uncontrollable. It's convenience, in which case he would be ok with screwing me, but when it comes to himself suddenly he's fine being AB. Even if it is controllable, say equal to a gay guy marry a woman and having a family. Don't you think the gay guy would have been more happy living the way they really feel? Or should everybody conform to what society says they should be doing? I doubt having this specific mental health issue is all that convenient. Why don't you just PM him and get some answers instead of just assuming what will help you plead your case. It just seems stupid to me that, you're this concerned about parking spots and bathrooms stalls. I get how offensive it is at the initial shock of pretenders and such, but everyone deserves a right to be happy and so what if it means sharing a stall with a guy in a chair who doesn't really need a chair physically. Nobody cares about bathroom stalls anyways, and I mean nobody besides disabled people, so that is already a lost battle. Stay away from Wal-mart and the Y in the morning and you're fine with disabled parking 99% of the time. The gay analogy doesn't fit, gay folks don't impede my access in any way. As for your other points, I have addressed them one way or another in my prior posts.
|
|
|
Post by MarineAmp on Sept 6, 2015 22:57:16 GMT -5
The gay analogy fits, because it's another group that has been, and is still being told what is best for them from a group that doesn't know what the hell it is talking about and the only people they care for is themselves.
|
|
|
Post by matisse on Sept 7, 2015 0:01:56 GMT -5
The gay analogy fits, because it's another group that has been, and is still being told what is best for them from a group that doesn't know what the hell it is talking about and the only people they care for is themselves. See above. Think about it more....
|
|
|
Post by wonk on Sept 7, 2015 2:54:08 GMT -5
The BIID thing has been done to death here many timers before. One of the biggest issues for many disabled guys is that they see it as a choice. Hence the question about needing a toilet urgently. Or would someone with BIID chose to work in manual labour to support their family, or if they were starving? Is it a first world problem? Attention seeking? Is there any real mental illness, or is it just people being too focussed on themselves instead of being altruistic?
I believe that everyone has the right to do whatever they want so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. However many guys see BIID as either directly or indirectly affecting them.
PWD's have just as much right to question people motives, as others have to live certain lyfestyles.
I don't really have any answers just questions!
If all your problems revolve around you, then you don't have any problems!
|
|
|
Post by darthoso on Sept 7, 2015 3:05:25 GMT -5
I'll jump in against my better judgement...
I think the reason PWDs tend to be hostile towards BIID is the same reason a LOT of African Americans were uncomfortable with that white woman who lied in order to become President of the local NAACP. It is one thing to be supportive and an advocate for a minority group, but another to claim "membership" when you aren't and haven't experienced an ounce of what it is really like. Yes you're being honest with us, but not the general public, unless you're wearing a sign. Few months ago there was someone claiming to be quad biid and that really got under my skin. That guy will never spend an entire vacation in the ICU in a coma. For a lot of us the chair itself is the least intrusive part of our disabilities despite appearances.
|
|
|
Post by Green on Sept 7, 2015 9:57:39 GMT -5
I think the reason PWDs tend to be hostile towards BIID If we're talking about this thread, no one was hostile to the new guy - all that happened is Legoless got mad that matisse along with me wouldn't be accepting of a guy with BIID's intention to use handicapped spots.
|
|
qrios
New Member
Posts: 36
Gender: Male
|
Post by qrios on Sept 7, 2015 10:23:04 GMT -5
Just putting this out there - could more BIID people using a wheelchair in public lead to more disabled parking spaces, public toilets and better access in public spaces because of extra demand?
|
|
|
Post by Inigo Montoya on Sept 7, 2015 10:45:33 GMT -5
I'll offer something I don't think I've seen here. I'm grateful that he's honest here because that means that any devs who talk to him know, up front, who he is and what he's doing. There will be no imagining or trying to build a relationship with a PWD who's actually NOT a PWD. As an inexperienced dev, I spent more time talking to pretenders from here who are NOT up front about it than I did actual PWDs. So I used to would thank BIID peeps who were pretending for being honest about it. Because we've been had so many times by people who are not up front about their pretending. And I found that kind of lying damaging to me. This is why Emma demands to see people almost immediately to see if they're really amputees. So, yes, I'm glad and grateful MJ is being up front with it. And, honestly, I DO kind of hate that MJ is being given a hard time with the questions. Not because of the support aspect, but because if there is another guy out there like MJ who might have come here with the intention of being honest, if they search BIID and this comes up... well, they are certainly not encouraged to be honest with us, are they? I understand why the questions are being asked and I'm not denying their legitimacy. Or the right for the asker(s?) to ask them. But I really don't think they're serving any positive purpose. MJ's behavior isn't going to change. Hell, I sometimes use HC stalls. It's not my first choice but if it's the only one clean or the others are all full, I'm in. Thanks to discussions I've read, I'm always mildly anxious that I'll exit to some pissed off PWD. I definitely understand why the majority of PWDs have serious issues with BIID. And I'll say up front that I don't support pretending because I do consider it lying. But I am forever grateful when pretenders will be up front with US. Because that's one less lie I get to MY face.
|
|
|
Post by Tommy on Sept 7, 2015 11:29:30 GMT -5
Yours sincerely President of the Medium para club wonk, in contrast to others here, you are entitled to call yourself God ... sounds better in my ears
|
|
|
Post by Tommy on Sept 7, 2015 12:05:30 GMT -5
- Bertolt Brecht - “The Good Woman of Setzuan”
|
|
|
Post by MarineAmp on Sept 7, 2015 12:37:54 GMT -5
I think the reason PWDs tend to be hostile towards BIID If we're talking about this thread, no one was hostile to the new guy - all that happened is Legoless got mad that matisse along with me wouldn't be accepting of a guy with BIID's intention to use handicapped spots. The guy said he can usually find a good alternative to disabled spots. I don't know what percentage usually falls in, but it sounds like 90% of the time. I know they hand out disabled placards like they are going out of style, so it isn't far fetched to think this guy has a placard linked to driver's license which wouldn't make it illegal. Yes I would prefer he choose an alternative to parking in disabled spots, which thankfully this guy does. He did say he only goes in stalls that his chair fits in, again, I've never seen another disabled person in the bathroom at a "non-wheelchair" event. Yes I think you and Matisse are over stretching your bounds by telling this guy what to do. It's one thing to just say this upsets me, I'd prefer it not to happen, but I literally laughed out loud at how audacious your posts were in telling this guy what to do. I just pictured a big middle finger coming from the other side of the screen and a giant go fuck yourself being vocalized as well.
|
|
|
Post by matisse on Sept 7, 2015 13:12:54 GMT -5
I know they hand out disabled placards like they are going out of style, so it isn't far fetched to think this guy has a placard linked to driver's license which wouldn't make it illegal. The illegality is upstream: he would have to lie to get the placard. I've never seen another disabled person in the bathroom at a "non-wheelchair" event. I can't say that I've ever been in a bathroom with a wheelchair user? This is interesting. I suppose it's true for me too--I rarely see wheelers in the bathroom. This is probably why ABs have no issue using a w/c stall. There are just not many of us around? I don't have an issue when most stalls are being used, but often the ABs just want more space and lots of stalls are empty. In these circumstances I usually go up to the stall and try to open the door, which precipitates a flush and a rush to get up and out, and an apology when they leave. They know they should have left it open. An underlying issue for me, in all of these circumstances is taxes. I pay a crapload of taxes. It sucks for me to travel, but I do it for work. I feel disrespected by these folks not just because of them taking my spot, but also because I am paying their fucking taxes. Dealing with my disability is not easy for work, so just let me do my job without making it more difficult for me. You can go home and watch the stupid reality TV of the day while I am working to pay for your share of taxes.
|
|
|
Post by wonk on Sept 7, 2015 16:15:15 GMT -5
Yours sincerely President of the Medium para club wonk, in contrast to others here, you are entitled to call yourself God ... sounds better in my ears Please don't feed the GOD COMPLEX!! Lol
|
|