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Post by Emma on Mar 7, 2011 1:23:54 GMT -5
Well for me having a yahoo ID viewable does not equal looking for a date. I messaged you on yahoo. By no means was I looking for or thinking you were available. I was looking for conversation. Perhaps you're getting looking for simple conversation mixed up with guys drooling all over you because you're a dev with a yahoo id on a devotee message board? woah, what? I was not taking about you in my original post but was responding to wheelieincali.
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Post by E on Mar 7, 2011 11:53:57 GMT -5
I vote photo-shopping a "TAKEN" tatoo onto foreheads in avatar pics. Done. Brilliant.
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Post by E on Mar 7, 2011 11:55:53 GMT -5
Well for me having a yahoo ID viewable does not equal looking for a date. I messaged you on yahoo. By no means was I looking for or thinking you were available. I was looking for conversation. Perhaps you're getting looking for simple conversation mixed up with guys drooling all over you because you're a dev with a yahoo id on a devotee message board? If she's getting it "mixed up", it's the guys' fault. I'm positive Emma has never once thought I was drooling or lusting over her during a conversation.
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Post by MarineAmp on Mar 7, 2011 12:41:17 GMT -5
Not taking anything personally, she did chat with me. I just didnt want her thinking I messaged her because I thought she was "available/attainable". I doubt she was referring to me, but who knows? I may have misunderstood her original statement. I thought she was saying... because she has a yahoo id that people automatically assume she is attainable. Im going to assume that because she does have her yahoo ID next to her avatar that she is welcoming people to chat. That to me seems like "available". Ay ay ay I have a headache. Now... if someone has their yahoo ID status as "available" in the "looking, married, single" category why would they assume or know they were married? I can see where that could be the case if she just said she was a devotee and welcomes all comers to come chat with her. However if anyone takes the time to read the "signature" then you should know that she isn't seeking out a bunch of guys to drool over her. Being her husband I am around for quite a few of these guys who see that's she's a devotee and start a conversation saying "hi I'm in a wheelchair." I generally encourage her to mess with you guys, but she is pretty straight forward in finding out what their intentions are, and it usually is some guy hoping to be her sexual fantasy. This doesn't just come from all the disabled guys, but from pretenders, wannabes, and a whole array of unusual requests.
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Post by shynightgirl on Mar 7, 2011 16:22:56 GMT -5
I just wanted to say that my comment to Tuna was meant to be taken "tongue in cheek" more than anything. It was one of those things where what you say is 99% joking and 2% being serious. I never meant to come accross as sounding like I wanted to "brawl" over him . He and I had been discussing our thoughts on jealousy and he'd told me his view on it was like the saying: Jealousy in romance is like salt in food, too much ruins it but too little leaves it bland. I would guess that most people, whether they admit it or not, actually like knowing that their partner feels they are "worth" being a bit jealous over. I'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are on the subject. Of course I am only talking about a "healthy dose" of jealousy...not a psycho-stalker amount. Tuna brought up the fact that if I were happy, why feel insecure over an insignificant internet post? I just wanted to say that while I wouldn't say I am insecure; I have waited all my life to find what I have found with this man, of course I am going to be a bit "protective" of our relationship. I am in my late 30s, Tuna is young and still has the possibility of finding her true love fairly early in life. When a woman gets my age and has only recently found hers, I venture to say that however confident and secure she feels in the relationship, she may be more inclined to hold on just a bit tighter to it than a younger woman might! ;D Add to that the fact that the chances of finding the man of your dreams in our cases is reduced greatly than most "normal" womens' chances and maybe my position will be understood easier. In any case I want to apologize to anyone who felt that I was ready to come out swinging ...while I would definitely "fight for" love...I would never "fight over" it! Thanks all.
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Post by ruthmadison on Mar 7, 2011 16:57:06 GMT -5
I just wanted to say that my comment to Tuna was meant to be taken "tongue in cheek" more than anything. It was one of those things where what you say is 99% joking and 2% being serious. I never meant to come accross as sounding like I wanted to "brawl" over him . He and I had been discussing our thoughts on jealousy and he'd told me his view on it was like the saying: Jealousy in romance is like salt in food, too much ruins it but too little leaves it bland. I would guess that most people, whether they admit it or not, actually like knowing that their partner feels they are "worth" being a bit jealous over. I'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are on the subject. Of course I am only talking about a "healthy dose" of jealousy...not a psycho-stalker amount. Tuna brought up the fact that if I were happy, why feel insecure over an insignificant internet post? I just wanted to say that while I wouldn't say I am insecure; I have waited all my life to find what I have found with this man, of course I am going to be a bit "protective" of our relationship. I am in my late 30s, Tuna is young and still has the possibility of finding her true love fairly early in life. When a woman gets my age and has only recently found hers, I venture to say that however confident and secure she feels in the relationship, she may be more inclined to hold on just a bit tighter to it than a younger woman might! ;D Add to that the fact that the chances of finding the man of your dreams in our cases is reduced greatly than most "normal" womens' chances and maybe my position will be understood easier. In any case I want to apologize to anyone who felt that I was ready to come out swinging ...while I would definitely "fight for" love...I would never "fight over" it! Thanks all. I actually didn't read any snarkiness in what you said or what Tuna said! I thought everything stayed very classy. Shrug. I agree with you about jealousy, a little bit is nice. It reminds you that your partner is someone desirable and that makes you appreciate him or her more. That's been my experience, anyway. Of course too much jealousy is a huge problem, but a tiny bit seems pretty healthy to me.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Mar 7, 2011 22:46:57 GMT -5
That whole jealousy thing is a tricky balance. I'd have to agree, a little bit of jealousy makes me feel wanted, but at the same time, I'm really independent and get pretty offended if my boyfriend questions my faithfulness. If jealousy can coexist with trust, which isn't always possible, then I like a little bit.
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Mar 7, 2011 23:39:12 GMT -5
P.S. Thought I'd take my own advice, even if I can't quite claim "taken".
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Post by lavly on Mar 8, 2011 6:15:47 GMT -5
[quote author=ruthmadison board=personals thread=2070 post=55629 time=1299535026 I actually didn't read any snarkiness in what you said or what Tuna said! I thought everything stayed very classy. Shrug. I agree with you about jealousy, a little bit is nice. It reminds you that your partner is someone desirable and that makes you appreciate him or her more. That's been my experience, anyway. Of course too much jealousy is a huge problem, but a tiny bit seems pretty healthy to me.[/quote] what she said
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tuna
Full Member
Posts: 217
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Post by tuna on Mar 8, 2011 14:40:11 GMT -5
I just wanted to say that my comment to Tuna was meant to be taken "tongue in cheek" more than anything. It was one of those things where what you say is 99% joking and 2% being serious. I never meant to come accross as sounding like I wanted to "brawl" over him . He and I had been discussing our thoughts on jealousy and he'd told me his view on it was like the saying: Jealousy in romance is like salt in food, too much ruins it but too little leaves it bland. I would guess that most people, whether they admit it or not, actually like knowing that their partner feels they are "worth" being a bit jealous over. I'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are on the subject. Of course I am only talking about a "healthy dose" of jealousy...not a psycho-stalker amount. Tuna brought up the fact that if I were happy, why feel insecure over an insignificant internet post? I just wanted to say that while I wouldn't say I am insecure; I have waited all my life to find what I have found with this man, of course I am going to be a bit "protective" of our relationship. I am in my late 30s, Tuna is young and still has the possibility of finding her true love fairly early in life. When a woman gets my age and has only recently found hers, I venture to say that however confident and secure she feels in the relationship, she may be more inclined to hold on just a bit tighter to it than a younger woman might! ;D Add to that the fact that the chances of finding the man of your dreams in our cases is reduced greatly than most "normal" womens' chances and maybe my position will be understood easier. In any case I want to apologize to anyone who felt that I was ready to come out swinging ...while I would definitely "fight for" love...I would never "fight over" it! Thanks all. seriously, I would appreciate if you leave me out of your comments now. I think I said what I had to and you said what you had too. please let it go. while youu are most welcome to put forward your opinions about jealousy, love, fighting over/ fighting for.. etc. I dont see any reason why you should say things like " I am in my late 30s, Tuna is young and still has the possibility of finding her true love fairly early in life. When a woman gets my age and has only recently found hers, I venture to say that however confident and secure she feels in the relationship, she may be more inclined to hold on just a bit tighter to it than a younger woman might" I dont think you know me from Adam so you need to stop making these personal comments. Please feel free to write what you feel without taking the liberty of making liberal conjectures about other people. I would appreciate it.
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Post by nightstar80 on Mar 8, 2011 17:53:49 GMT -5
Daaaayyyumn! ..There be some heat up in here!! Tuna, I like your style: confront a situation, and deal with it constructively. More power to you girl! ;D
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Post by shynightgirl on Mar 8, 2011 20:22:36 GMT -5
I wasn't aware that we are not allowed to continue a conversation using the name of someone whom had been involved in the earlier part of it. I also don't think that pointing out someone's age, which is posted for the public to see, and stating a simple fact about them being young and having the possibility of finding love earlier than I did, liberal conjecture. That is the truth...someone 23 does have that possibility. If someone doesn't want to be open to being spoken to, or about, on a public message board, then that person should make aware at the beginning of the post, they wish to only comment, but receive no comments directly to or about them, should the post continue further. I don't think that I said anything negative or hateful to or about anyone in the post. The fact that I don't know someone from Adam is a moot point, as that is the very intriguing thing about message boards.....to connect with people around the world whom you don't know from Adam, and would probably never meet elsewhere.
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Post by ruthmadison on Mar 8, 2011 20:52:49 GMT -5
P.S. Thought I'd take my own advice, even if I can't quite claim "taken". Hilarious! That is great. I had a friend whose man was never jealous. It frustrated her so much because he was indifferent. She could go out to clubs and dance with other guys, get backrubs from guys, he didn't care at all. Drove her nuts!
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Post by ~Z28gal~ on Mar 8, 2011 21:17:15 GMT -5
P.S. Thought I'd take my own advice, even if I can't quite claim "taken". Hilarious! That is great. I had a friend whose man was never jealous. It frustrated her so much because he was indifferent. She could go out to clubs and dance with other guys, get backrubs from guys, he didn't care at all. Drove her nuts! ;D I crack myself up. Which is a good thing, since I live alone and my ferret's sense of humor mostly revolves around stealing my shoes. I'm always suspicious of a guy who isn't jealous AT ALL, to be honest. As in, what's he doing on the side to not care what I'm doing? Perhaps that's the cynic in me, but there it is.
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Post by ruthmadison on Mar 8, 2011 21:46:11 GMT -5
Hilarious! That is great. I had a friend whose man was never jealous. It frustrated her so much because he was indifferent. She could go out to clubs and dance with other guys, get backrubs from guys, he didn't care at all. Drove her nuts! ;D I crack myself up. Which is a good thing, since I live alone and my ferret's sense of humor mostly revolves around stealing my shoes. I'm always suspicious of a guy who isn't jealous AT ALL, to be honest. As in, what's he doing on the side to not care what I'm doing? Perhaps that's the cynic in me, but there it is. Yeah, I find zero jealousy to be a cause for concern (and I love your sense of humor. I'm in a similar situation with my dog not really understanding my jokes!)
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