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Post by matisse on Nov 15, 2005 22:50:36 GMT -5
It's a pretty typical reaction, and one I've seen on NM throughout the years every time the issue comes up. I can't think of a time when any person's mind has been changed one way or the other. Some people do net searches and quickly find the wierdo fetish stuff, which adds fuel to the fire.
It doesn't seem possible for a lot of people to look at it as a factor, among many, that results in physical attraction.
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Post by Chan on Nov 15, 2005 22:53:56 GMT -5
Oh great, it's happening already. Someone called a devotee's intentions "morbid" and that they'd fear for their patients' safety around a devo.
So far, no one disabled has actually replied.
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Post by devogirl on Nov 15, 2005 23:32:16 GMT -5
Good for you Chan for trying to open some minds, but don't take it personally if the idiots persist in being idiots... BTW I have never been flamed so thoroughly as by the AB wives of disabled guys. I don't know what their problem is, but they are super defensive. Maybe they just know that we'll steal their husbands away because we are so much better at making love to an SCI guy And that's a JOKE, y'all, I don't mean it seriously so please don't jump on me.
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Post by matisse on Nov 15, 2005 23:32:42 GMT -5
You may not get responses that are much different from disabled folks. I am not sure of the extent to which you have participated in, or observed discussions on this topic on other websites, but they rarely end well.
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Post by devogirl on Nov 15, 2005 23:49:50 GMT -5
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devboy
Junior Member
dirty bandwidth thief / hot lady
Posts: 92
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Post by devboy on Nov 16, 2005 0:27:28 GMT -5
chan, i hate to say it, but you're coming off like a crazy devo on that thread. you gotta be more respectful of them or they're just gunna write all of us off as whackos...
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Post by Triassic on Nov 16, 2005 1:01:48 GMT -5
I'd say the members of that board seem fine. It's the geust who's out of line, spoiling for a fight.
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Post by wheelie37 on Nov 16, 2005 2:22:52 GMT -5
I just added my bit to the thread wondering what reaction i will get
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Post by wheelie37 on Nov 16, 2005 3:08:22 GMT -5
was you skibone?
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Post by Sean on Nov 16, 2005 4:30:03 GMT -5
Once in a great while, I venture forth and post something about my website on SCI/disability sites. Over the last decade, I've yet to get much positive reaction to such posts. FWIW, I do think you over reacted Chan (as you've over reacted to some of my posts here that were not agreeing with you fully, but I guess that's another matter ). Gotta have a bit of a thicker skin if you're gonna venture in the "outside world" and discuss topics that you know are controversial to start with. FWIW, I think this hillary woman was actually pretty tame, and mostly unaware. Asking questions and making comments from teh point of view of someone who hasn't known about devs for long. When making these kind of posts on these kind of forums, I always at least attempt to educate people, and keep an understanding that the initial negative reaction and shock may be attenuated by remaining calm, and explaining, rather than starting to insult and going on the attack. I'm curious. Does Earl know you're posting his photo like that? And as tempting as it is for me to response to that thread's poster who said that wannabes "have some kind of a mental disorder and should seek help", I won't. Not there, as I doubt that they are ready and willing to actually listen. If they were, I'd say I don't oppose the label of having a mental illness, and that I *have* sought help, but the mental health professionals are seriously unequipped to work with people who are transabled. And I'd further say that "help" comes in many guises. Perhaps for some therapy is sufficient (it hasn't been for me). Perhaps for others medication is sufficient (it hasn't been for me). And perhaps for others, the only appropriate treatment path is surgery, just as it is the only appropriate treatment path for some transexuals. But I'm sorry, perhaps I'm stealing your thread, so I'll shut up now //Edit: It looks like the person who made that comment is also active here, as it appears we were posting our responses at the same time. Stude, if you are willing to have an open discussion about this, I'm willing to do so as well. I invite you to check out my website (see signature) to get a better inkling of where I come from.
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Post by BA on Nov 16, 2005 5:17:55 GMT -5
Chan, why bother to even post on that type of site. The thread I did on New Mobility was met quite openly, I suppose, since quite a few members flocked over here. Most general SCI sites do NOT want to hear about devoness IMHO. They have other fish to fry and far more pressing issues. I only posted on NM because there was an existing devo related thread. Chan, your plate is full with Earl. No point in standing on a soapbox and trying to get the masses to understand us. Some just will not and I gracefully accept that. So, in my opinion, leave well enough alone and just move ahead with your own fun life. You have nothing to prove.
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Post by rollnthundr on Nov 16, 2005 10:44:53 GMT -5
Chan, After 18 year in a chair I've learned that the people who get the most offended about issues are not the disabled themselves. It's the AB's who think they know what gimps feel or think. This is where you get PC words like handy-capable and differently-abled when most of us don't mind the word gimp. I work as a recreation therapist and I once got written up by my AB boss for referring to myself as a gimp, she said it offended my patients. I called the patients together and asked them, in front of her, what they preferred and they almost all said gimp. She wrote me up again... I say, only address the concerns of those who have an actual disability and screw the rest..
As for Devotees.. I'm kinda learning more about them and seeing that most female devotees just see the chair as a personal preference. like someone who finds blonds more attractive. But I think that is not the same for male devotees. in looking through a lot of sights I think most show male devotees as a fetish. They talk about being in total control of someone who can't help themselves, even several talk about having sex with a paralized person is like having sex with a dead person. This may taint what people feel about devotees in general.
As far as my thoughts on wanna-be and pretenders.. I sure this is not a new point of view, but I say go for it. Stop F*ckin around and do it. It's easy. Get drunk and dive in shallow water, or cut off a limb. I don't understand why you haven't done it already. Scared? well thats part of being disabled. Not knowing if you'll survive the accident or what your life will be like if you do. Don't cheat yourself out of the whole experience. lol Say what you will about Michael Jackson but at least when he wanted to be a white woman, he did his best to become one. lol
Well I'm sure I said something wrong here, but feel free to try and change my point of view.
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devboy
Junior Member
dirty bandwidth thief / hot lady
Posts: 92
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Post by devboy on Nov 16, 2005 12:32:40 GMT -5
chan, i hope you didn't think i was bashing you. i obviously agree with everything you wrote on the board, i just think you need to be very diplomatic if you're going to open up a closed mind speaking of being diplomatic.. rollnthundr, i politely take issue with your broad stereotype of male devotees. not all of us are freaky fetishists. only the straight ones are seriously though, when you look around the net, any sexual subject is treated more delicately by women than men, and erotica for men is always more sleazy and morally questionable. i don't think its a devo thing so much as a "men are pigs" thing. but we all know not all men are pigs--just the straight ones (sorry, couldn't resist). actually, its just that the worst ones of any type are always the most visible. and anyway even if a guy gets off to a demeaning or immoral fetish it doesn't mean he wants to actually do it in real life... as a guy i'm sure i don't have to explain all this to you, but I thought I'd get it out there for everyone.
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Post by E on Nov 16, 2005 13:38:53 GMT -5
like someone who finds blonds more attractive. Everyone always uses the blonde analogy. I just find that funny. Next time, let's give it up to our brunettes, redheads, and girls with glowing, gorgeous smiles -- which is my biggest turn-on. E
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Post by carpenter on Nov 16, 2005 13:46:30 GMT -5
The intellect of the week award is going to have to be split between Stude and RollinThunder. Those are some nicely composed thoughts guys. Well done.
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