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Post by devogirl on Jan 14, 2006 19:48:26 GMT -5
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Post by dirtykurt86 on Jan 14, 2006 22:45:13 GMT -5
I'm kurt and 32 yrs old,and i've been in a chair for 4 and a 1/2 yrs.I'c a c6/7 ,but got good hands and full feeling in my entire body except 4 hot and cold.I'm 6.1'about 180 and average build,dark hair and eyes,I just stumbled upon this site and kinda tripped out,and thought hell,y not.. I live in Fresno Ca.I got injured riding dirtbikes in Pismo :'( and now i still enjoy riding xcept now i ride a quad instead of a dirtbike.How would u like to ride a "QUAD",. ;D..lol .I still do construction,well i got guys that work with me and i perty much bid and run the jobs.I've since bought my own 4 bed house and live on my own.I've been through a couple relationships lately and a couple booty calls 2. I enjoy sex as much as the next guy :P and when i saw yer message i just just had 2 respond.I'm not really good with computers,but check my e mails a couple times a day.If u would like 2 chat i'm at dirtykurt86@yahoo.com....Well i might b up 4 a roadtrip i just bought a new youcon so let me know.....Kurt
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Post by wheelie37 on Jan 15, 2006 4:35:31 GMT -5
A very interesting article devo girl  Of course it varies depending on how someone is disabled and how serious the spinal cord is damaged, what level etc |
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Post by spurs2000 on Jan 15, 2006 11:49:00 GMT -5
That is an excellent article by Tre Trefethen. I have experienced much and many of the feelings regarding sex and agree it is the hardest area to come to terms with as a quad, mainly due to lack of discussion & research!
Andy
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Post by damedevo on Jan 15, 2006 13:08:39 GMT -5
I have experienced much and many of the feelings regarding sex It sounds very distressing and frustrating--I wish there were a good solution for you and everyone else in that situation. |
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Post by devogirl on Jan 15, 2006 15:20:47 GMT -5
Well, it can be frustrating, but I found the tone of the article hopeful rather than distressing. The good solution IMHO is a limber and imaginative devotee who is willing to experiment. I say this purely in the interest of science, of course, I am in no way motivated by selfish concerns.
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Post by devogirl on Jan 15, 2006 17:13:55 GMT -5
How important is an erection to female devs? Speaking only for myself, it's not that important, except in that it's important to the guy. But sex is so much more than tab a in slot b, and if the guy has a complete injury, it seems silly to focus only on the penis and an unreliable erection. And thanks for the props, Jason. But come on, details, we want details! ;D |
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Post by Lee on Jan 15, 2006 17:15:28 GMT -5
That was a great article. Sounds like that guy gets tons of play. We should set him up with Devogirl.  |
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sidney
Full Member
RIP
Posts: 239
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Post by sidney on Jan 15, 2006 21:24:32 GMT -5
Good article, funny guy. I think it's important to approach the whole SCI/sex thing in a somewhat light-hearted, not too serious manner. It's true what the author says about the occasional unused, Viagra induced erection, but hey, at least there's an erection without having to ask her to stick a needle into my schlong! I myself was lucky enough to have my first post-SCI sexual experiences with a creative, open-minded, patient woman. And, come to think of it, I suppose she was fairly limber as Devogirl had mentioned being a positive attribute. I have yet to have an orgasm with a partner, but I think I've been close to some sort of a mental orgasm. I was, however, able to ejaculate in the clinic using a jackhammer-like vibrator that was so powerful that it actually broke skin!!! All I know is that I obviously have a lot to learn about my own sexuality, and I'm curious and excited for my future. Now if I could just find myself an equally curious and excited partner... -Sid
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Post by damedevo on Jan 15, 2006 21:31:12 GMT -5
How important is an erection to female devs? Matisse, I assume you're asking if the woman can "get off" properly without. As DevoGirl says, satisfaction doesn't come from putting Tab A into Slot B--it comes from the thrill and delight of exploration, experimentation, and desire to give pleasure. I'll even use that word "altruism" again, which you felt smacked of missionary work; but my Webster's says it means "regard for or devotion to the interests of others." I think good lovemaking entails mutual altruism--perhaps done in turns. My Slot B usually craves a direct visit, eventually; so, if Tab A isn't available, and I'm at that urgent stage of lovemaking, I would want my man not to get wrapped up in his lack of erection, and not to give up on me (the worst!), but to use his fingers or a toy to see me over the crest of that wave. |
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Post by Chan on Jan 16, 2006 0:51:18 GMT -5
How important is an erection to female devs? Not important...AT ALL. I've actually always shied away from conventional sex. For the 3 years of mine and Jamie's relationship he knew the only reason I was doing it was for him. That's part of what made our relationship go sour. The sex was really one-sided, but not because he didn't make a valiant effort to make it pleasurable for me as well. It just never worked out that way. Even when he'd go down on me it was like he was licking my elbow or something. There was absolutely on satisfaction on my part. But then I met up with -E-, and I don't even have to worry about pleasing him in that way. Which is actually a huge relief now that there's not that pressure to 'do it' every time we're together. I just get such an amazing feeling when I please -E-, and I'm nowhere near the lower regions. I still haven't really orgasmed, but that doesn't matter 'cause (I never really expect it anyway) and just being able to make him feel good by only using his neck and shoulders is surprisingly satisfying. That's actually incredibly more sexy to me. So pretty much, that's one of the reasons why I actually prefer a guy with a complete injury instead of incomplete; I don't have to worry about regular sex anymore. It was always bothersome for me to begin with and now the added pressure that used to be there when I was with my boyfriend is gone completely. I just feel more at ease with things this way. |
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Post by Triassic on Jan 16, 2006 1:00:17 GMT -5
For now, Chan, for now...I think in your case age is probably a factor. In 7, 8, 10 years, could be a different story.
But it's great that the two of you are so well matched for the present.
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Post by Corinne on Jan 16, 2006 4:28:10 GMT -5
Chan: You have had an orgasm though, right?
I had my first O really late in my life. I was older than you are now, I think. I had my first while thinking about the sorts of men who frequent this board. Thanks guys!
Some guys just are terrible at oral sex and my experience is that the ones who are good at it are the ones who get off on the idea of pleasing you. If he's just grudgingly doing it to reciprocate, then of course it's going to be awful.
I wonder if men with SCI are more likely to get turned on by the idea of cuninlingus............
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Post by LadyLuvsParas on Jan 16, 2006 13:37:10 GMT -5
How important is an erection to female devs? Erections are optional, sex is not! |
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Post by Chan on Jan 16, 2006 14:47:26 GMT -5
Chan: You have had an orgasm though, right? Yes, I have the ability to make myself orgasm. It takes a while, and I'm very particular about circumstances and certain stipulations. The thing is, I can only bring myself to orgasm thinking about 'my kind of guy'. That article that damedevo found said something about the two groups of amputee devotees: *apotemnophilia (achieving sexual fulfillment by fantasizing about being an amputee) and *acrotomophilia ( requiring amputee partners, real or in fantasy, to achieve sexual satisfaction). I wonder what the word for that is when not just concerning amputees, but disability in general. But anyway, since the first time I was able to give myself pleasure at age 14, down to very recently, I have only achieved orgasm through thinking of 'paradevo guys'. |
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Of course it varies depending on how someone is disabled and how serious the spinal cord is damaged, what level etc
