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Post by wheelie37 on Apr 10, 2005 4:59:44 GMT -5
I was wondering why some devotees get non disabled partners when they have more of an attraction to a person with a certain disability?
Is it just lack of opportunity to meet them, or is it fear of what others may say?
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Post by princess on Apr 10, 2005 22:04:26 GMT -5
For me it was just that I was never attracted to the disabled friend I had and never met any other guys with a disability. Then I met my husband and immediately wanted him, so I stopped looking. I would have taken the chance if it had come along, without any consideration of other people's opinion.
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Post by ungava on Apr 11, 2005 10:41:01 GMT -5
definitively lack of contact....
I cant say I'm unhappy with my current partner though...I just feel like cheating when I come on here, that's all..lol
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Post by Lee on Apr 11, 2005 13:49:50 GMT -5
Most of the disabled guys I know irl are not that attractive. My standards are lower for them, but not THAT low. I'm not dating an old man in a wc.
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Post by ungava on Apr 12, 2005 10:49:28 GMT -5
LOL...I'll go with Lee on that one
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Post by V on Apr 14, 2005 10:43:04 GMT -5
Being attracted to a certain type of person (be that blonds, short people, disabled people) doesn't exclude attraction to any other type of person, necessarily. I have never felt like I was just settling because I didn't end up with a disabled person - to say that would be selling my husband short in a thousand different ways.
I'm attracted to disabilities, but that's not all I am.
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Post by princess on Apr 16, 2005 17:10:53 GMT -5
well spoken, v.
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Post by wheelie37 on May 20, 2005 2:30:00 GMT -5
i suppose the point i was trying to make was, there are so many charitable organisations which involve disabled people, in a work or in a social role. People have said on the message boards that they go to places, classes, even park near disabled parking spaces in the hope of just seeing a disabled person. If they would like a disabled partner, surely the best way to meet disabled people would to become involved in an organisation where they could meet them socially? One problem is a lot of organisations are run by people who are "doing thier bit" for the poor disabled people! Wouldnt it be wonderful if the organisations had people who instead of feeling pity, actually found disabled people attractive and equal to them!
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Post by Lee on May 20, 2005 13:13:47 GMT -5
I would agree with you 100%, except in practice I feel guilty. When I volunteered to help with SCI rehab, I often felt really guilty. A lot of the men were depressed and it made me feel like a bad person. Dunno, maybe rehab was a bad place to start, although I did really enjoy many aspects of it.
Honestly, I don't think most of the workers there felt pity. I think they felt bad when someone was in pain, but other than that, I think they just genuinely enjoyed helping people. And the patients were great guys that were a lot of fun to hang out with.
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Post by princess on May 21, 2005 0:10:16 GMT -5
apparently according to the americans w/ disabilities act both my husband and i are considered disabled. (and i just thought i was nuts.)
i can see the label being appropriate for him, though. he uses a machine to sustain his life and has many doctor's appointments monthly; his activities are limited by a health condition... i don't really have a point to this, just that i found it out today and thought it was interesting, considering. you'd think he'd have been a little more receptive to my devo tendencies.
ah, well, there's always fiction.
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Post by Lee on May 21, 2005 0:41:25 GMT -5
so wait... Princess, did you actually TELL your husband you were a devo?
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Post by wheelie37 on May 31, 2005 11:19:05 GMT -5
When i had my accident i was taken to stanmore spinal unit. The staff was excellent as was the care. I had nurses doing EVERYTHING for me as i could only move my head for weeks! I was really down  Not just because of the accident but other things. My girlfriend for instance, went off with my cousin who was giving her a lift to see me. We got engaged and broke up while i was still in hospital! I think one HUGE fear was that know one would find me attractive again! My relation and closest friend going off with myy girl really gutted me! It took a while to get used to people staring at me with what i assumed to be "pity" or "how brave that man is" Either that or people coming over and laying hands on me I learned to use a computer while i was still in hospital and worked really hard to be independent. Wouldnt it have been great if i had been able to go online if i had known of devotees and there was hope for the future! |
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Post by Lee on May 31, 2005 15:14:11 GMT -5
If you are looking for topics to write about, Paul, I think it would be interesting to hear about your real life experience when you were first injured.
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Post by wheelie37 on May 31, 2005 20:09:04 GMT -5
Good idea, i only had one sexual expereience with my girlfriend in hospital, just before we got engaged. Rest of the time it was physio, learning how to do manual evacs, and the occasional late night drink in the dining room with the lads!  |
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Post by Lee on May 31, 2005 20:50:55 GMT -5
Honestly, I often find the nonsexual descriptions to be much more of a turn-on. A lot of the stories on the site have very little, if any, actual sex.
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Not just because of the accident but other things. My girlfriend for instance, went off with my cousin who was giving her a lift to see me. We got engaged and broke up while i was still in hospital!