Story is up!

[Deleted]

stories.paradevo.net/2016/11/the-late-bloomer.html?m=1&zx=ffbf0e203517830e

Let me know what you all think! Hope you like it

[malibu]

I was curious to read your story when you announced it because I always enjoy reading stories from a guy's perspective to get to know different views. I know writing a story can be hard, especially if aimed to an audience that is so diverse. If you choose to write from the perspective of a dev, it can be easily understood as your opinion about devs – and depending on the interpretation, it will be offensive even if it wasn' t your intention.

I admit I wrote a short comment the day you posted and deleted because I wanted to have the opinion from others - I might be way off with my impression. I am not sure about your intention. Why did you choose a low incomplete para as a character? I mean, it's not necessarily wrong, and you can write whatever you want as long as you don't offend anyone. I just think that you missed the target audience, and pictured exactly what devs are not and it even sounds satirical.

Maybe you should have a look at the storyboard and see what devs like reading in general, even if you won't imitate but you might get a better overview over devs.

[Deleted]

Both characters were based on people I know - 0physix attributes only. I knew a guy in college who was in a chair but could still have PIV sex and had some feeling in his legs. The only way he described it to me was an impartial SCI.

Please say more about the dev perspective. I've received messages from a few people and their feelings weren't the same. I won't speak for them. My intent was not to make a cartoony/outlandish version of anything. I was trying for authenticity - I mean let's be real, the story I wrote only happens in porn lol - but I wanted to capture the dev perspective as I've come to know it here.

I'm not a dev, however, so I could be way off base as you indicated. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I wanted to entertain and arouse.

[Justagirl]

Hmmm, you didn't offend me. Likewise, my intent is not to offend you. I also will try not to speak on behalf of all devs, as we are all different. However....

1. Me, (as a dev), would notice immediately if my dr was in a wheelchair. Heck, I'd know what cars were parked in the handicapped spots before even taking a step inside- while running across the parking lot, in the rain, with 3 kids in tow.

2. A number of devs (me included), don't get off on "cock" like other girls may. There are SO many other physical characteristics I'd notice first. That's kinda the root of being a dev.

3. This doesn't go for just devs, but girls in general- incessant talk about big boobs usually doesn't do much. Honestly I don't even like my own- don't necessarily want to hear about someone else's over and over.

Us devs are complicated creatures- while we all like different things, it's usually much more than mainstream stuff like tits and dicks. I admit, it's not easy figuring out where our heads are at. Sometimes we don't even know ourselves. I just think you kinda missed the mark on this, especially if your target audience are devs. IMO

[parashoot]

I read the story yesterday.
I will say that the writing itself was good. Descriptive and planned out well.

I feel like if devs were your target audience though, there are a few changes that could be made.
All of these are probably just my personal thoughts, and some people might (and probably do) feel differently.
1) I can't imagine salivating at the smell of someone's dick, especially a stranger.
2) a para with a perfectly functioning dick doesn't really do it for me, even if it is possible and based on someone you knew.
3) I would have liked it better if this guy had been her orthodontist all along and she had always wanted him.. Finally, at her LAST appointment, in her typical "always late" fashion, she makes her move. I like a bit of romance or history I guess, rather than two strangers just meeting and instantly getting it on.
4) Most importantly: I think I speak for all ladies when I say, a little cunnilingus goes a long way.

I would actually say the target audience seems to be men with disabilities, rather than devs.

What is your disability? You should write a realistic erotica with a male character with your disability... That would probably seem more genuine.
Keep writing, don't let us discourage you, I promise I actually did like the story, I just think for devs, it needs a little tweaking (and not just of the nipple variety haha).

[Deleted]

I was born without my left hand. I chose a wheeler because that seems to be all the devs here talk about. I honestly haven't connected much with threads here for that reason.

This is interesting though. You're attracted to a guy but not interested in his penis? I know a lot of guys here have barriers in that regard and my heart goes out to them, but how are you reciprocating? It sounds more like you're enjoying yourself at his expense--could be way off here, just asking!

As for the penis smelling thing: that's not been my experience lol. Not smelling them, but with women. I don't think they want to bottle it and walk around wearing it, but when aroused...I think it's more common than not, imho.

[parashoot]

Nov 5, 2016 17:37:10 GMT -5 @rich86 said:

This is interesting though. You're attracted to a guy but not interested in his penis? I know a lot of guys here have barriers in that regard and my heart goes out to them, but how are you reciprocating? It sounds more like you're enjoying yourself at his expense--could be way off here, just asking!

I have seen some devs on here say they don't care about p in v sex. I for one, like it.
If I was with an AB guy, I would hope his penis got hard at the thought of me, and certainly with me stimulating it.
If I was with a guy born without one hand I would want his penis to do the same. Also with any other disability that doesn't normally effect erectile function.

If I'm fantasizing about being with a guy with SCI (or in some miraculous reality where it actually happened), I guess I just assume there is a bit of a different dynamic going into it, and when I read fiction, I like to hear about how the couple overcomes this "barrier" or how they adapt to having a sex life that is different than the "norm". That is part of what's sexy to me. That's part of my devness.

This is primarily a wheeler dev site for sure, but there are amp devs on here too, and lots of us who may have SCI as our number one interest, have other disabilities that interest us too.

[Deleted]

Physical* attributes

[Deleted]

I'm not really interested in writing about amp experiences here TBH. Again, the forum is really only for wheelers it seems.

[Deleted]

I read the story as well and I debated very much commenting on the Blog because I know comments are important to writers but I really didn't know how to put my dislike in a positive way. And even though I love to write I have a hard time expressing myself when it comes to how I felt about your story.

It does take courage to put yourself out there as a writer, so yes, I give you Kudos for that.

To me the story wasn't devy at all, it was basically porn written down and I don't get anything from porn. Your writing itself was not bad at all but I didn't get aroused reading it. I know I for one am the wrong audience for this type of story. One thing that stuck out right away and this is already mentioned above, how can she not know he is in a wheelchair? That would be the first thing I would have realized.

Maybe other devs feel different but I have to echo what the other ladies have written above.
I think you have the dev thing wrong and I have a feeling that you have a little of bitterness the way you write about "this forum is only for wheelers". Another thing I want to add is that if you think devs are as easy as your female character in the story you got that wrong, we are a LOT more complicated than that.

I don't think your writing is bad but maybe this is the wrong audience. I would say men would possibly enjoy this but they would probably rather watch it in a regular porn movie.

I don't enjoy porn, I don't care about big and hard cocks, I don't even need them to orgasm. It was very obvious that these are probably fantasies you enjoy or things that turn you on about a woman, big tits, braces, sex in a dental office. My first initial thought was maybe something for a site like Fetlife.

[Emma]

Nov 5, 2016 18:32:36 GMT -5 @rich86 said:

Again, the forum is really only for wheelers it seems.

This forum is NOT only for guys with disabilities that require wheels for getting around. I really wish the site had a different name but that's what Lee and DG chose when they started it. Regardless I'm happy it's here and very thankful they still work to maintain it. I do hate when guys like you show up here crying about how devs only like wheelers. I am a dev and was never the type who was only attracted to a wheeler. I'm exclusively an amputee dev and not just the type that require wheelchairs.

I'm really confused why you don't feel like this is a site for you yet you wrote a story that you were hoping would appeal to the devs here. Have you read any of the other fiction that's been posted that devs enjoyed? I'm not a huge fan of dev fiction but do occasionally read whats posted. Your story was shocking to me. Like others have said the writing wasn't bad but the plot and descriptions were so far off the mark of what devs like. I'm sorry you put so much effort into it and expected us to love it but I think you need to go back to learning about devs and women in general.

[faith]

Nov 5, 2016 17:37:10 GMT -5 @rich86 said:

This is interesting though. You're attracted to a guy but not interested in his penis?

Almost zero interest in a guys penis- in fact sometimes I think it's the part I like least.

[Deleted]

Nov 6, 2016 0:22:10 GMT -5 Emma said:

Nov 5, 2016 18:32:36 GMT -5 @rich86 said:

Again, the forum is really only for wheelers it seems.

I do hate when guys like you show up here crying about how devs only like wheelers. I am a dev and was never the type who was only attracted to a wheeler. I'm exclusively an amputee dev and not just the type that require wheelchairs. ve it but I think you need to go back to learning about devs and women in general.

[

I'm fine with constructive criticism - I asked for it after all! I wanted to get better. 1. Was not "crying" - was stating my experience on this forum. If yours is different: great. 2. Learning about women in general...thank you

[Deleted]

Nov 5, 2016 23:09:43 GMT -5 Dani said:

. One thing that stuck out right away and this is already mentioned above, how can she not know he is in a wheelchair? That would be the first thing I would have realized.

I have a feeling that you have a little of bitterness the way you write about "this forum is only for wheelers". Another thing I want to add is that if you think devs are as easy as your female character in the story you got that wrong, we are a LOT more complicated than that.

I. It was very obvious that these are probably fantasies you enjoy or things that turn you on about a woman, big tits, braces, sex in a dental office. My first initial thought was maybe something for a site like Fetlife.

Ok, to address the wheelchair thing: my research showed a small % of devs don't realize they are devs until after adolescence. That was my premise. Have you been to the dentist/ortho? The chair is huge, plus a portable light/sink - lots of things in the way. I understand you all feel you would notice these things right away - and perhaps so - but a "late bloomer" might not. Not all stories encaptyre everything about a certain population or even the majority of that population. If they did, why would anyone read them? They know what's going to happen.

I have no bitterness about this forum in any capacity - why would I have written something and continued to participate here if I did?

Also I take offense that you think I believe all devs are easy and sex maniacs. This was a sexual story - just like most on that blog. I did not imply or outright state that devs are nymphos. So take a step down from that perch.

Yes big boobs turn me on - just because I'm missing a hand doesn't mean I'm not a typical straight man. But Braces? No. fetlife? Seriously?

I solicited feedback because I am a writer and want to be the best possible. But your comments appear to be as ignorant as you're saying my story was.

[Deleted]

Just generally to everyone: I very much appreciate the feedback. This was my first go. I asked for feedback. I'm not offended by constructive criticism.

I am offended by sweeping statements about my character though...Jesus. Stick to the writing.

I had no expectations other than a hope that I could help contribute to the literature so many of you have lamented does not exist for devs.

And, again, I am not bitter about my experiences on this forum. But to say it's not solely focused on wheelers is living in fantasy.

Thank you for the constructive feedback. And go to hell for the ad hominem remarks :-P