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Post by matisse on Aug 19, 2014 22:36:54 GMT -5
Yeah I guess after the last newbie flare up it did tip over. What a shame. Edit: I think you ladies are here but not actively posting outside the devs only section. I agree it's a shame. Shouldn't it be a good thing instead? With the devs-only section, they can choose their level of interaction and with whom on what topics. And with a lot of wheelers, you get more varied disabilities, perspectives and opinions. And those devs who are looking for a relationship get more choices......
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Post by Pony on Aug 20, 2014 8:22:11 GMT -5
I want to be a T12 para too! Hey Tony, do you want to be a T12 para? Why do people with BIID seem to always pick the coolest disabilities? Maybe I haven't been looking, but I can't recall anyone wanting to be a c5 quad. hahaha...yah, wish I could pick my level of injury!! I'd make one rocking low-level para.
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stiffl3g
New Member
Posts: 35
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by stiffl3g on Aug 20, 2014 9:52:33 GMT -5
Oh, apropos BIID, I have a question.
Does it make a difference to a lady dev if a guy acquired his disability by e.g. traumatic accident or as a result of BIID? (Talking about BIID people who had surgery). Is a guy who had BIID and had surgery someone who fits your wishes? In other words, does the reason for disability make a difference for devs? Well, in the case of BIID the additional special thing is, they(we) don´t regard it a disability the way we want our body....
Best regards
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Post by kivic on Aug 20, 2014 10:28:41 GMT -5
Shouldn't it be a good thing instead? With the devs-only section, they can choose their level of interaction and with whom on what topics. And with a lot of wheelers, you get more varied disabilities, perspectives and opinions. And those devs who are looking for a relationship get more choices...... Yes and no; it feels more like a wheeler's convention than a dev community, and it has felt that way for months now. Not all of us are looking for relationships, so variety in disabled men isn't necessarily a draw. Good ideas, good conversation, relevant topics are definite draws for me. "Guy talk" is interesting for only so long
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Post by Maurine on Aug 20, 2014 10:33:06 GMT -5
I can't speak for all devs, but for me, it makes a difference. I'm not into deliberately self-inflicted disabilities. If I meet a wheeler and don't know why he uses a chair, I may find him attractive, but as soon as I find out he chose to be a wheeler, he won't be sexy to me in a devy way anymore. The story of how someone acquired their disability is part of my devness. I can't change it, it's just the way it is in my case.
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gaywheellover
New Member
Posts: 38
Gender: Male
Dev Status: BIID
Relationship Status: Single
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Post by gaywheellover on Aug 20, 2014 13:25:09 GMT -5
To address a few issues since my last post here...
1.) As for me and other people with BIID wanting a T12 level of injury and not a C4 or another quad injury, I need to be a T12 because that is where my brain says that sensation needs to end, not because that makes living with a disability easier then being a quad. In fact I speak to a few people online and there are many who need to be a quad, its just that they are not as vocal on different message boards.
2.) As for using handicapped stalls, buses and parking spots, if you are like myself living life in a chair every day, all day, not using these amenities would be a detriment. I would not be able to transfer into and out of my chair and my car, which is operable with hand controls, without that extra space provided by handicapped parking. My experience is that permits to use these spaces are given too easily by the states. When they are all full it is usually because they are taken by people who are elderly or are otherwise healthy but use a cane. These spaces whould be reserved for people who use wheelchairs only. As for the use of buses, without me being able to get onto a bus or to use an elevator in a subway, once again being someone who uses a wheelchair, I will not be able to get around my city. As for handicapped bathroom stalls, many times these are just taken by people who "want more room" in their stall for their stuff as they do their business. Many times I had to wait to use a handicapped stall while all the other stalls were empty. To fix these problems, one not needs to look at BIID persons using these facilties as the problem, but one should rather seek redress from the state. Laws need to be changed. Having only one handicapped stall is disgraceful and discriminatory to peorsons with disabilities since there is no realistic way to police who uses the stalls. Parking permits should only be given to wheelchair users... period. Buses should not be the only mode of transit, but all taxis, and subway stations should have full access.
3.) As for BIID people being looking for pity, I as well as the majority of people I know with BIID are not looking for pity. We are not looking for a "look at me, I am in a wheelchair and need help" sentiment. We don not look for help from the public. In fact, when people try to help me, unless I really need it, I decline. We are not looking for extra attention. We are not looking sympathy. What we are looking for is understanding. We talk about our pain, and our suffering to get people to understand our lives, our struggles, and our plea for a real physical treatment in "corrective" surgery similar to transgender persons. The transgender population fought this for years and while there is more understanding for people with trans disorders, there is still a large stigma about getting surgery and also still alot of discrimination. We, persons with BIID are looking to change those perspectives on our community. We are trying to make people believe our perspectives are valid.
4.) AS for being on paradevo as a person with BIID... first and foremost I am also a dev, in addition to being a BIID sufferer. I find gay wheeler men very attractive. In fact, many people believe that that is not because we are deviants and that the BIID is sexual, but rather comes as a reflection of our need to be disabled. A large portion of BIID sufferers are devs and a disproportionaly large group of BIID devs are gay or lesbian. The believe held by prominant psychologists and psychairists is that it is "the mirror effect." Since we cant have the disability ourselves and yearn for that body, we see pwd's as a reflection of ourselfs and what we want our bodies to look like and hence the attraction. Also on an emotional level, we see pwds and one of the few groups of people who can understand us, because while we might not be "real" pwds in the traditional sense, we are people with disabilites and we feel that there is a deeper level of emotional understanding. In fact, my personal experience is that most people who were born with disabilities or who have become disabled but have come to terms with their new body, or are not bitter about their disability seem to be very understanding. Most pwds in this catagory cant imagine theselves as abled bodied and hence can wrap their minds around the struggle of people with BIID.
4.) As for using social services, we do not use social services or try to "scam" the system. We want to be people with disabilites, but not to collect checks, but to be functional members of society, just with a disability. Many of us fight long and hard to end sterotypes of people with disabilities and have to deal with job hiring discrimination every day just like "real" persons with disabilites. Remember, when someone with BIID uses a chair or other mobility assistive device every day , everywhere, the public sees us as disabled people, and hence discriminate against us equally. the public at large dosent care if someone has a SCI, is born with SB or CP, dosent have legs, or is someone who uses a chair for any other reason (such as BIID) All they see is a guy, or girl, in a chair and that is all people who discriminate against pwds need to see. In fact here lies the stigma and the issue with BIID people among the abled bodies community and also why surgery is not a legal option as treatment for us. While transgendered surgery is becoming accepted, it is understandable. There are only two genders and it is understandable to change between them. With disability it is a different story. Since there is a stigma against disability and hence discrimination against the disabled, abled bodies people cant seem to understand why someone would want to be a pwd and hence become a discrimintated against minority by the general public. Abled bodied people cant understand why we would want to "limit" ourselves. The only way to change this view is once again through legislation aimed at eliminating discrimination against the disabled as much as possible and moving closer to being a barrier free society. This brings us to our next point.
5.) Being able "to move between both worlds" as some people put it... this is not possible, not without a huge social cost. While we may physically be able to move between both worlds (and even here is limited, since persons like myself can not really walk or stand because of prolonged wheelchair use weakened muscles and delayed nerve relability, but techincally we can be rehabilited) socially that is not possible. Once a community knows us as pwds, there will need to be an explanation as to why we are no longer pwds, one which most people cannot accept for the reasons mentioned above. Likewise is true for when a BIID person wants to live as pwd. People would then want to have an explaniation as to why they are now pwds while they were previously abled bodied. To move between the worlds, one would have to either risk being ostracized by their community or move to another community.
6.) The last point, as for getting mental help to deal with our "obsession," like previously said, that does not work. Most people with BIID have sought this out at various points with limited results. Therapy and psych drugs do help, but only with coping with the condition. It does not cure the condtion. It is the equivalent to giving therapy to someone who is terminal with AIDS or cancer. While in those cases therapy helps people cope with their condition and feel better about themselves with their condition, it does not cure AIDS or cancer. BIID has its ups and downs. Sometimes it is bearable, other times there are huge flare ups. Flare ups can last a few days to a few weeks or even a few months and then it is not bearable. In fact, during severe flarups, myself as does a sizable minority or persons with BIID can even get physical symptoms, such as varied sensation, difference of sensation, tingling, and a feeling of the line where feeling vs non feeling should co exist,and even pain at various points in time in the affected parts of the body. Going back to the body mapping theory, this happens because the brain is receiving signals that it dosent believe that it should be receiving and hence dosent know how to translate them. In a way these sensations are like a reverse version of phantom limb syndrome/pain.
I hope this clears up a few things.
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Post by Maurine on Aug 20, 2014 13:58:06 GMT -5
I was wondering, considering there are those who desire to have an SCI at a certain level or a specific amputation, if there are also people who long to have a disability that can't be acquired, like, say, CP or SMA? There could as well be and maybe there are people who think they should be a certain animal or have wings and the ability to fly. It'd be interesting to learn more about those mapping disorders, what types there are and how common they are. Did you feel this way even as a child, when you weren't familiar with the concept of SCI?
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Post by matisse on Aug 20, 2014 14:50:07 GMT -5
As for using handicapped stalls, buses and parking spots, if you are like myself living life in a chair every day, all day, not using these amenities would be a detriment. I don't understand--it seems like from your first para that you want to be T12 but are still AB. If so, then how is not using these things a detriment since you can just get up out of your chair?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 14:55:13 GMT -5
As for using handicapped stalls, buses and parking spots, if you are like myself living life in a chair every day, all day, not using these amenities would be a detriment. I don't understand--it seems like from your first para that you want to be T12 but are still AB. If so, then how is not using these things a detriment since you can just get up out of your chair? He "needs" them. I'm not tolerant of shit like this and I'm not sorry about it.
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Post by AlrightyAphrodite on Aug 20, 2014 16:34:23 GMT -5
To address a few issues since my last post here... 1.) As for me and other people with BIID wanting a T12 level of injury and not a C4 or another quad injury, I need to be a T12 because that is where my brain says that sensation needs to end, not because that makes living with a disability easier then being a quad. In fact I speak to a few people online and there are many who need to be a quad, its just that they are not as vocal on different message boards. 2.) As for using handicapped stalls, buses and parking spots, if you are like myself living life in a chair every day, all day, not using these amenities would be a detriment. I would not be able to transfer into and out of my chair and my car, which is operable with hand controls, without that extra space provided by handicapped parking. My experience is that permits to use these spaces are given too easily by the states. When they are all full it is usually because they are taken by people who are elderly or are otherwise healthy but use a cane. These spaces whould be reserved for people who use wheelchairs only. As for the use of buses, without me being able to get onto a bus or to use an elevator in a subway, once again being someone who uses a wheelchair, I will not be able to get around my city. As for handicapped bathroom stalls, many times these are just taken by people who "want more room" in their stall for their stuff as they do their business. Many times I had to wait to use a handicapped stall while all the other stalls were empty. To fix these problems, one not needs to look at BIID persons using these facilties as the problem, but one should rather seek redress from the state. Laws need to be changed. Having only one handicapped stall is disgraceful and discriminatory to peorsons with disabilities since there is no realistic way to police who uses the stalls. Parking permits should only be given to wheelchair users... period. Buses should not be the only mode of transit, but all taxis, and subway stations should have full access. 3.) As for BIID people being looking for pity, I as well as the majority of people I know with BIID are not looking for pity. We are not looking for a "look at me, I am in a wheelchair and need help" sentiment. We don not look for help from the public. In fact, when people try to help me, unless I really need it, I decline. We are not looking for extra attention. We are not looking sympathy. What we are looking for is understanding. We talk about our pain, and our suffering to get people to understand our lives, our struggles, and our plea for a real physical treatment in "corrective" surgery similar to transgender persons. The transgender population fought this for years and while there is more understanding for people with trans disorders, there is still a large stigma about getting surgery and also still alot of discrimination. We, persons with BIID are looking to change those perspectives on our community. We are trying to make people believe our perspectives are valid. 4.) AS for being on paradevo as a person with BIID... first and foremost I am also a dev, in addition to being a BIID sufferer. I find gay wheeler men very attractive. In fact, many people believe that that is not because we are deviants and that the BIID is sexual, but rather comes as a reflection of our need to be disabled. A large portion of BIID sufferers are devs and a disproportionaly large group of BIID devs are gay or lesbian. The believe held by prominant psychologists and psychairists is that it is "the mirror effect." Since we cant have the disability ourselves and yearn for that body, we see pwd's as a reflection of ourselfs and what we want our bodies to look like and hence the attraction. Also on an emotional level, we see pwds and one of the few groups of people who can understand us, because while we might not be "real" pwds in the traditional sense, we are people with disabilites and we feel that there is a deeper level of emotional understanding. In fact, my personal experience is that most people who were born with disabilities or who have become disabled but have come to terms with their new body, or are not bitter about their disability seem to be very understanding. Most pwds in this catagory cant imagine theselves as abled bodied and hence can wrap their minds around the struggle of people with BIID. 4.) As for using social services, we do not use social services or try to "scam" the system. We want to be people with disabilites, but not to collect checks, but to be functional members of society, just with a disability. Many of us fight long and hard to end sterotypes of people with disabilities and have to deal with job hiring discrimination every day just like "real" persons with disabilites. Remember, when someone with BIID uses a chair or other mobility assistive device every day , everywhere, the public sees us as disabled people, and hence discriminate against us equally. the public at large dosent care if someone has a SCI, is born with SB or CP, dosent have legs, or is someone who uses a chair for any other reason (such as BIID) All they see is a guy, or girl, in a chair and that is all people who discriminate against pwds need to see. In fact here lies the stigma and the issue with BIID people among the abled bodies community and also why surgery is not a legal option as treatment for us. While transgendered surgery is becoming accepted, it is understandable. There are only two genders and it is understandable to change between them. With disability it is a different story. Since there is a stigma against disability and hence discrimination against the disabled, abled bodies people cant seem to understand why someone would want to be a pwd and hence become a discrimintated against minority by the general public. Abled bodied people cant understand why we would want to "limit" ourselves. The only way to change this view is once again through legislation aimed at eliminating discrimination against the disabled as much as possible and moving closer to being a barrier free society. This brings us to our next point. 5.) Being able "to move between both worlds" as some people put it... this is not possible, not without a huge social cost. While we may physically be able to move between both worlds (and even here is limited, since persons like myself can not really walk or stand because of prolonged wheelchair use weakened muscles and delayed nerve relability, but techincally we can be rehabilited) socially that is not possible. Once a community knows us as pwds, there will need to be an explanation as to why we are no longer pwds, one which most people cannot accept for the reasons mentioned above. Likewise is true for when a BIID person wants to live as pwd. People would then want to have an explaniation as to why they are now pwds while they were previously abled bodied. To move between the worlds, one would have to either risk being ostracized by their community or move to another community. 6.) The last point, as for getting mental help to deal with our "obsession," like previously said, that does not work. Most people with BIID have sought this out at various points with limited results. Therapy and psych drugs do help, but only with coping with the condition. It does not cure the condtion. It is the equivalent to giving therapy to someone who is terminal with AIDS or cancer. While in those cases therapy helps people cope with their condition and feel better about themselves with their condition, it does not cure AIDS or cancer. BIID has its ups and downs. Sometimes it is bearable, other times there are huge flare ups. Flare ups can last a few days to a few weeks or even a few months and then it is not bearable. In fact, during severe flarups, myself as does a sizable minority or persons with BIID can even get physical symptoms, such as varied sensation, difference of sensation, tingling, and a feeling of the line where feeling vs non feeling should co exist,and even pain at various points in time in the affected parts of the body. Going back to the body mapping theory, this happens because the brain is receiving signals that it dosent believe that it should be receiving and hence dosent know how to translate them. In a way these sensations are like a reverse version of phantom limb syndrome/pain. I hope this clears up a few things. This post infuriates and nauseates me. From the beginner, I don't care for any of the biid folks I have ever interacted with, and I think the distance between "pretending" and "deception" is small indeed. I think the presence of pretenders on this board is inappropriate and destructive and I would heartily encourage them to find some other corner of the Internet. I also don't believe that biid is a legitimate "mapping disorder" and the attempt to call it one is an attempt to medicalize and legitimize something that is neither. I think it's a kink, just like being a dev. I understand that these people didn't choose their kink and I have compassion for that. What's the difference between a mapping disorder and a kink, except that when you say "mapping disorder" I'm supposed to excuse behavior I wouldn't otherwise. By that I mean pretending in public, using disabled parking spaces, etc. You call those "amenities", like a fucking coffee pot in a hotel room, but if you actually had a physical disability, you'd know they're actually necessities. This is what's so infuriating to me, that you guys get to pick and choose what elements of a disability you want. T-12, wow, that's a pretty convenient mapping disorder. I've never met a guy whose mapping disorder tells him he's a C3. What I find really hilarious is the concept that biid means you get parking spaces. Again, you get to choose the elements of a disability you like. You'll take a parking space and suffer "employment discrimination" but not SSDI. I guess whatever you decide your mapping disorder deserves, right? I love that you complain about ABs hogging parking spaces and bathroom stalls, that's downright hilarious. YOU are the AB hogging parking spaces and bathroom stalls and then you're like "yeah, life sure is tough when you're "disabled"... So an old guy with a cane doesn't deserve a permit, he's not disabled enough (the state hands those permits out too easily, you know) but your mapping disorder totally qualifies... I have a mapping disorder that means when I see my true self, I'm the Chair of the Federal Reserve. Next thing you know I'll be negotiating with China.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 17:30:28 GMT -5
AlrightyAphrodite when it comes time to write my book, I want you to be my ghost writer
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Post by JW on Aug 20, 2014 17:50:32 GMT -5
To address a few issues since my last post here... 1.) As for me and other people with BIID wanting a T12 level of injury and not a C4 or another quad injury, I need to be a T12 because that is where my brain says that sensation needs to end, not because that makes living with a disability easier then being a quad. In fact I speak to a few people online and there are many who need to be a quad, its just that they are not as vocal on different message boards. 2.) As for using handicapped stalls, buses and parking spots, if you are like myself living life in a chair every day, all day, not using these amenities would be a detriment. I would not be able to transfer into and out of my chair and my car, which is operable with hand controls, without that extra space provided by handicapped parking. My experience is that permits to use these spaces are given too easily by the states. When they are all full it is usually because they are taken by people who are elderly or are otherwise healthy but use a cane. These spaces whould be reserved for people who use wheelchairs only. As for the use of buses, without me being able to get onto a bus or to use an elevator in a subway, once again being someone who uses a wheelchair, I will not be able to get around my city. As for handicapped bathroom stalls, many times these are just taken by people who "want more room" in their stall for their stuff as they do their business. Many times I had to wait to use a handicapped stall while all the other stalls were empty. To fix these problems, one not needs to look at BIID persons using these facilties as the problem, but one should rather seek redress from the state. Laws need to be changed. Having only one handicapped stall is disgraceful and discriminatory to peorsons with disabilities since there is no realistic way to police who uses the stalls. Parking permits should only be given to wheelchair users... period. Buses should not be the only mode of transit, but all taxis, and subway stations should have full access. 3.) As for BIID people being looking for pity, I as well as the majority of people I know with BIID are not looking for pity. We are not looking for a "look at me, I am in a wheelchair and need help" sentiment. We don not look for help from the public. In fact, when people try to help me, unless I really need it, I decline. We are not looking for extra attention. We are not looking sympathy. What we are looking for is understanding. We talk about our pain, and our suffering to get people to understand our lives, our struggles, and our plea for a real physical treatment in "corrective" surgery similar to transgender persons. The transgender population fought this for years and while there is more understanding for people with trans disorders, there is still a large stigma about getting surgery and also still alot of discrimination. We, persons with BIID are looking to change those perspectives on our community. We are trying to make people believe our perspectives are valid. 4.) AS for being on paradevo as a person with BIID... first and foremost I am also a dev, in addition to being a BIID sufferer. I find gay wheeler men very attractive. In fact, many people believe that that is not because we are deviants and that the BIID is sexual, but rather comes as a reflection of our need to be disabled. A large portion of BIID sufferers are devs and a disproportionaly large group of BIID devs are gay or lesbian. The believe held by prominant psychologists and psychairists is that it is "the mirror effect." Since we cant have the disability ourselves and yearn for that body, we see pwd's as a reflection of ourselfs and what we want our bodies to look like and hence the attraction. Also on an emotional level, we see pwds and one of the few groups of people who can understand us, because while we might not be "real" pwds in the traditional sense, we are people with disabilites and we feel that there is a deeper level of emotional understanding. In fact, my personal experience is that most people who were born with disabilities or who have become disabled but have come to terms with their new body, or are not bitter about their disability seem to be very understanding. Most pwds in this catagory cant imagine theselves as abled bodied and hence can wrap their minds around the struggle of people with BIID. 4.) As for using social services, we do not use social services or try to "scam" the system. We want to be people with disabilites, but not to collect checks, but to be functional members of society, just with a disability. Many of us fight long and hard to end sterotypes of people with disabilities and have to deal with job hiring discrimination every day just like "real" persons with disabilites. Remember, when someone with BIID uses a chair or other mobility assistive device every day , everywhere, the public sees us as disabled people, and hence discriminate against us equally. the public at large dosent care if someone has a SCI, is born with SB or CP, dosent have legs, or is someone who uses a chair for any other reason (such as BIID) All they see is a guy, or girl, in a chair and that is all people who discriminate against pwds need to see. In fact here lies the stigma and the issue with BIID people among the abled bodies community and also why surgery is not a legal option as treatment for us. While transgendered surgery is becoming accepted, it is understandable. There are only two genders and it is understandable to change between them. With disability it is a different story. Since there is a stigma against disability and hence discrimination against the disabled, abled bodies people cant seem to understand why someone would want to be a pwd and hence become a discrimintated against minority by the general public. Abled bodied people cant understand why we would want to "limit" ourselves. The only way to change this view is once again through legislation aimed at eliminating discrimination against the disabled as much as possible and moving closer to being a barrier free society. This brings us to our next point. 5.) Being able "to move between both worlds" as some people put it... this is not possible, not without a huge social cost. While we may physically be able to move between both worlds (and even here is limited, since persons like myself can not really walk or stand because of prolonged wheelchair use weakened muscles and delayed nerve relability, but techincally we can be rehabilited) socially that is not possible. Once a community knows us as pwds, there will need to be an explanation as to why we are no longer pwds, one which most people cannot accept for the reasons mentioned above. Likewise is true for when a BIID person wants to live as pwd. People would then want to have an explaniation as to why they are now pwds while they were previously abled bodied. To move between the worlds, one would have to either risk being ostracized by their community or move to another community. 6.) The last point, as for getting mental help to deal with our "obsession," like previously said, that does not work. Most people with BIID have sought this out at various points with limited results. Therapy and psych drugs do help, but only with coping with the condition. It does not cure the condtion. It is the equivalent to giving therapy to someone who is terminal with AIDS or cancer. While in those cases therapy helps people cope with their condition and feel better about themselves with their condition, it does not cure AIDS or cancer. BIID has its ups and downs. Sometimes it is bearable, other times there are huge flare ups. Flare ups can last a few days to a few weeks or even a few months and then it is not bearable. In fact, during severe flarups, myself as does a sizable minority or persons with BIID can even get physical symptoms, such as varied sensation, difference of sensation, tingling, and a feeling of the line where feeling vs non feeling should co exist,and even pain at various points in time in the affected parts of the body. Going back to the body mapping theory, this happens because the brain is receiving signals that it dosent believe that it should be receiving and hence dosent know how to translate them. In a way these sensations are like a reverse version of phantom limb syndrome/pain. I hope this clears up a few things. This post infuriates and nauseates me. From the beginner, I don't care for any of the biid folks I have ever interacted with, and I think the distance between "pretending" and "deception" is small indeed. I think the presence of pretenders on this board is inappropriate and destructive and I would heartily encourage them to find some other corner of the Internet. I also don't believe that biid is a legitimate "mapping disorder" and the attempt to call it one is an attempt to medicalize and legitimize something that is neither. I think it's a kink, just like being a dev. I understand that these people didn't choose their kink and I have compassion for that. What's the difference between a mapping disorder and a kink, except that when you say "mapping disorder" I'm supposed to excuse behavior I wouldn't otherwise. By that I mean pretending in public, using disabled parking spaces, etc. You call those "amenities", like a fucking coffee pot in a hotel room, but if you actually had a physical disability, you'd know they're actually necessities. This is what's so infuriating to me, that you guys get to pick and choose what elements of a disability you want. T-12, wow, that's a pretty convenient mapping disorder. I've never met a guy whose mapping disorder tells him he's a C3. What I find really hilarious is the concept that biid means you get parking spaces. Again, you get to choose the elements of a disability you like. You'll take a parking space and suffer "employment discrimination" but not SSDI. I guess whatever you decide your mapping disorder deserves, right? I love that you complain about ABs hogging parking spaces and bathroom stalls, that's downright hilarious. YOU are the AB hogging parking spaces and bathroom stalls and then you're like "yeah, life sure is tough when you're "disabled"... So an old guy with a cane doesn't deserve a permit, he's not disabled enough (the state hands those permits out too easily, you know) but your mapping disorder totally qualifies... I have a mapping disorder that means when I see my true self, I'm the Chair of the Federal Reserve. Next thing you know I'll be negotiating with China. This is one of the best things I've ever read. AlrightyAphrodite for President!
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Post by mike on Aug 20, 2014 18:12:17 GMT -5
gaywheelover,
In general I take a pretty broadminded view of BIID, however have a problem with some of your assertions. In particular, things like parking etc. I am not in a wheelchair, but do use KAFO's, and need the space to open the car door completely to get in and out, yet you assert I should forgo the disabled space so that YOU can use it? Personally, I (and probably most people) could care less if you wheel around all day, but come on, implying that your emotional need is more important than my physical need? When not using a disabled spot, I have had the occasion of getting to my car, but being unable to get into it because somebody has (understandably) parked too close to my car door. Standing around for who knows how long, waiting for them to come out and move their car is a real pain. Can you see why I might be bothered if the disabled space was taken by you?
People use chairs for all kinds of reasons, and many can walk short distances. If you were in a chair because you had heart problems, or perhaps severe back pain, you could still walk short distances. If you stood up & moved your chair to the sidewalk before getting in, nobody is going to question you. How about the para's & quads? They don't have that option, yet you feel you should have the same priority for the disabled parking spot? You don't comprehend that I need the extra space (because I wear braces, not a chair), while you DO need that space? Sorry, but I feel that part of your argument is flawed and offensive.
You assert that states give out disabled stickers too easily, yet have no problem having one yourself? Evidently in your case they did give one out too easily. I understand BIID is an emotional issue outside your control, but using your logic, someone who is depressed should also get the disabled spots, because they don't feel like walking farther. How would you feel about that? It isn't a big leap from your arguments to think people with BIID should be able to receive benefits. Should they be forced to wait until they have harmed themselves first?
Don't think I don't empathize with your situation, it must really suck, but please look beyond your own self-interest and understand that your feelings are pretty unique and deviate far from the norm.
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Post by devogirl on Aug 20, 2014 20:33:36 GMT -5
There could as well be and maybe there are people who think they should be a certain animal or have wings and the ability to fly. There certainly are: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Species_dysphoriaAlso look up "otherkin" if you dare...
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Post by MarineAmp on Aug 20, 2014 23:01:12 GMT -5
“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson
I know BIID hits some really strong emotions with people. I mean how could someone really "choose" to want to do that? So far science and people with BIID are saying they don't want it and it isn't a choice. I think I'd take their word on it.
Yep some mental "configurations" come with social and ethical dilemmas. i.e. Do I satisfy what my brain is constantly telling me to do, or comply with society even behind closed doors? I'm glad I don't have to struggle with that.
I think it is pretty easy to say what someone else should do with their condition. I don't think this gives them a free pass to be assholes and deceive everyone and anyone they come in contact with.
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