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Post by Emma on Aug 20, 2014 23:05:00 GMT -5
I'm not getting all sucked into this as I sit here in the other room listening to my husband typing away on what I assume is a long response to this very thread......but I had a question about the moving between worlds. GWL do you spend every minute of your waking day acting disabled? Do you never stand up? Never use your bladder and bowel muscles? If that's the case, I'd say you are much more unique than any of the other people with BIID that I have encountered. Maybe its the whole amputee vs. SCI thing I encounter all the time here but regardless I think there is a difference between living your whole day as a para vs. some of the other people I know who do it for a weekend or an evening when out with other BIID friends.
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Post by darthoso on Aug 21, 2014 1:50:31 GMT -5
I pretty much agree with everything AA said so just a few points:
1. I'm not going to question what's up in someone's head, only people who MIGHT know if it is legit is the person them self.
2. Assuming it is a legit (which I buy), you're already disabled. Dealing with it is your struggle. Lots of people have mental illnesses that they can't escape from. AA and I both have a mental illness too, its call wonkism. She wants to be Fed Chair negotiating with China, I want to be National Security Adviser getting ready for ww3 with China. Our struggle is not killing each other in those positions, she needs low inflation and therefore low defense spending when China floats there currency, I need her to print me money for my new kickass Pacific Fleet. (we'll try not to end humanity in the process, pinky promise).
4. Regarding resources, if you did self injure, you'd need SSDI just like you claim to need handicap parking spaces. Yes there are a lot of assholes who abuse those systems so biids have little impact, but you'd also need a Medicaid Waiver program, which are EXTREMELY limited (North Carolina has a 4 year waiting list) and do have good medical based safeguards to keep people out. So if you ever self injure and force a pwd to be wait listed: sorry, but fuck you.
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Post by Ath on Aug 21, 2014 2:24:01 GMT -5
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Post by wonk on Aug 21, 2014 5:25:42 GMT -5
I am sorry, that is not wonkism. Wonkism is the condition of excessive awesomeness!
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Post by Pony on Aug 21, 2014 8:35:13 GMT -5
Brace, ur a 'wonkism pretender'...lol
Man, Aphrodite KILLED IT...I'm a pretty open-minded dude, but I have a hard time with BIID. tykes KILLED IT, too....it's so easy to jump in a chair n roll. If it was that easy to be disabled, I'd be lovin' it, but it's not. Being REALLY disabled comes with crazyyyy shit...sores that bleed, spasms that rock ur whole body, high-stresslevel, urinary tracts that can make u so sick and bleed, cuts, etc. And I do have to laugh at picking T12....if u really want to be disabled, try c5. That should cure your cravings pretty fast.
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Post by darthoso on Aug 21, 2014 9:33:52 GMT -5
I am sorry, that is not wonkism. Wonkism is the condition of excessive awesomeness! Hey policy wonks are pretty fucking awesome too.
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Post by MarineAmp on Aug 21, 2014 10:22:21 GMT -5
Tony you're so amazing you should get the nobel prize in medicine, you just cured everyone with BIID.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Aug 21, 2014 19:36:01 GMT -5
While he's curing things, maybe he can just tell all the anorexics to just have a snack. Bet that'd cure them, too!
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Post by darthoso on Aug 22, 2014 1:15:06 GMT -5
While he's curing things, maybe he can just tell all the anorexics to just have a snack. Bet that'd cure them, too! If no treatment existed for anorexia would you encourage someone to kill themself slowly by not eating to "feel better"? Self injury = self harm. What about someone who cuts themselves to feel better? With Biid not only are they hurting themselves, they're forcing society to take care of them as Lucyirons post details. I have no issue with mental health resources being available, but lets be honest with ourselves, the reason "nothing works" is probably because they don't want it to work because they don't understand the consequences of their behavior, especially since they see people everyday they want to be just like and how pwds are valued by society. Anorexia had the same problem with the fashion industry pushing unrealistic body images. I wonder if BIID existed when people with disabilities were locked up in institutions.
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Post by Pony on Aug 22, 2014 8:12:50 GMT -5
Marine, I'm curious how you feel about 'military-pretenders.' There are of dudes that buy themselves a uniform, brag about being in combat, go to VFW hang out with their war-buddies....but faking it! We had a guy here in Tampa that the media exposed like that. He'd never been in service, yet wore his uniform proudly. Impress the chicks!!
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Post by darthoso on Aug 22, 2014 8:36:20 GMT -5
Marine, I'm curious how you feel about 'military-pretenders.' There are of dudes that buy themselves a uniform, brag about being in combat, go to VFW hang out with their war-buddies....but faking it! We had a guy here in Tampa that the media exposed like that. He'd never been in service, yet wore his uniform proudly. Impress the chicks!! Congress tried to outlaw 'stolen valor' but the US Supreme Court said those laws are unconstitutional under the 1st Amendment (Free Speech/Expression for the non Americans). That being said I wouldn't recommend it, there are organizations that will destroy your public image if you pretend to be military. One is dedicated to finding people pretending to have been Navy SEALs for example. Plus given the chance to get away with it, vets kick your ass.
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Post by mike on Aug 22, 2014 9:02:34 GMT -5
darthoso,
Regarding the fake Seals,I read an author's amusing observation: "There were only 300 Seals involved in the entire Vietnam war, and I've met all 30,000 of them."
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Aug 22, 2014 9:29:30 GMT -5
I don't know. I wonder if transgenderism existed in societies where men were kept separate from women? Or when it was even more inconvenient to be a woman? I was reacting to Tony's list of problems that come with SCI. I used anorexia because it's another disease that people generally think should be easy to cure... "Just have a snack! Eat something for God's sake." etc. Because, of course, there is no way for someone with BIID to know that their needed injury comes with those things. It's not like they can find SCI support sites on teh webs, or anything. And it's not like (as far as I've read) they wake up one morning and decide to climb into a wheelchair like they pick which pants to wear. (Many of them, anyway... and BIID peeps, not pretenders, during the course of this discourse I'm not addressing non BIID pretenders atall....) My friend doesn't use a wheelchair for relief because he didn't think that using a chair without the injury would bring any. (I am about to horrify you...) We discussed multiple methods for attaining his needs. I offered to help (he's not nearby). You mention cutting and other methods of self harm... I have tattoos and piercings. There are ways that could be considered self harm. I have had more than one infection from punching holes, large and small, into my skin and flesh. There was a time that, if I could have found someone to do it, I'd have done scarification. So, I probably don't regard self harm the way that others do. Cutting, as I understand it (not a topic I know a lot about, although I have had the urge in the past) is a problem because the physical is a manifestation of mental stress. BIID isn't a manifestation of mental stress. You say that therapy doesn't work because they don't WANT it to... does that also apply to transgenderism? All the therapy that someone undergoes before they surgically transition... they don't WANT the therapy to work and all those professionals don't notice that? In my limited reading (and discussion with the friend), the injury is something many of them put serious thought into. So, I think many of them very much do understand the consequences of their behavior. Because, just like I can, they can easily go look at pictures of terrible SCI induced pressure sores, or read about UTI consequences, etc. Also, I'm seeing a counselor for depression. It's the second time, at least, that I've had to return to her. Is that because I didn't want it to work? And how are PWDs valued by society? They're valued so much that every place ever built is completely accessible, right? Or at least since the ADA was passed, businesses in the US have been excited for the opportunity to use universal design in businesses and homes. People are eager to remodel so they can adhere to the ADA standards. They're valued so much that they have super low unemployment rates compared to the rest of the population, correct? Employers are always thrilled to find PWD's resume in the stack. Tell me more about the societal value placed on disability. Is transgenderism still considered a mental illness? (Looked it up... yes, it is.) I hang out with some people who are very gender fluid and even spending lots of time with that issue it's hard to understand. Transitioning is out of reach for many, for financial reasons, and I get confused. And THAT'S being supportive of the issue. So, yes, BIID is complicated and confusing. The people who live with it on a daily basis don't understand it so I can understand that it's hard for others to understand also. (Very personal aside... re-reading this and in the shower, I started thinking of my fairly recent journey into infertility and the parallels. Which people also think should/would be cured with, "Just relax!" "When you least expect it, it'll happen." "Stop trying so hard." --I was trying without a partner...apparently, once I stopped trying some random sperm would sneak through my front door and into my bed and impregnate me. lol-- Upon, further thought... the WHOLE CONVERSATION reminds me of my trying to conceive/infertility journey. People thought I was selfish for wanting to have a baby without a partner. They were concerned that, as a single person, I'd take up more social resources than a married couple. Comments like, "Sure, you want a baby... but you don't know what it's like! The sleep deprivation, all the hardships... if you knew then you wouldn't want a baby..." ) And, as far as self harm and forcing society to take care of them... there are dudes here who are paraplegic, quadriplegic or amputees because of unintentional self harm. An injury from one's actions... driving drunk, drunken motorcycle shenanigans, other risky activities (there are a bazillion diving accident quads... very preventable if you go into the water feet first) could be seen to qualify. Not only did someone driving under the influence cause his/her own injury, they endangered others. Same thing for crazy and/or drunken motorcycle shenanigans. Should we not take care of them? What about the person who's injured during a suicide attempt? For that matter, when I suffer foot pain from wearing pretty but unsupportive shoes, isn't that self harm? Should my insurance not cover that trip I made to the podiatrist? Lots of people consider my weight problem a form of self harm. Ironically, I don't think this is the appropriate place for peeps with BIID either. If they are also devs of male PWDs and want to communicate about that here, cool. But I don't think it's an appropriate place to share about your new handcycle or the cool new wheelchair you got. And the reason for that is that the majority of injuries here weren't intended or voluntary. There are (and rightly so) lots of huge, negative emotion attached to things that won't trigger huge, negative emotion for someone with BIID. That can make it really, REALLY hard to be sensitive to those triggers and others. Also, by virtue of the expensiveness of the average physical disability found here, many of the dudes here can't afford the cool new toys that get shown by some peeps with BIID. It can cause other negative emotion... justifiably so, imo. Transabled.org seems to be off the web now... so I don't know what the appropriate site is. But I don't really feel like it's here.
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Post by Inigo Montoya on Aug 22, 2014 9:35:47 GMT -5
In other news... I don't understand why I can look over a piece that I've written forty times before posting and STILL need to edit a million things. Geeze!
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Post by Cake on Aug 22, 2014 9:51:46 GMT -5
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