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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 17, 2010 13:34:19 GMT -5
still...ya gotta love how this gyrene, this jarhead, who's been a member here for-mmmm, 5 days?-is proposing to Strack Up all us slacker pukes who are f*ckin' it all up for the good, well-behaved, squared away, can-do crippled bast;ards out there... i never was too wild about calamari. hee hee:) <couldnt resist> First off, squid refers to the Navy, but I wouldn't expect you to know anything about serving your country. Going into a foreign country where you don't know what's around the next corner. Watching fellow Marine's lifeless bodies being dragged out of a vehicle that just got torn to shreds by an IED. Going on patrol carrying 80 lbs of equipment in 120 degree heat, and your cammies are so drenched in sweat they eventually can stand on their own from all the salt stuck to them. I guarantee if you wanted to talk sh*t to my face about this you'd be lying on your back right now. Secondly, my wife has been apart of this group for a while, and I've heard all kinds of stuff about a lot of you already. I've been well aware of a lot of stuff going on. I hear some of the conversations that go on for the Dev's only, and I know what they think about some of you. I'm not saying it's bad, but I'm not saying anything else about it either. So this jarhead that has been here "mmmm 5 days" already knows a lot about this place. This isn't my first devotee forum I've been apart of. I wasn't blown up yesterday, I haven't been locked in a closet and been unaware of the whole disabled world. My opinion is not less valuable, because I have only been apart of this forum for "mmmm 5 days." hee hee couldn't resist ,,l,,
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 17, 2010 13:13:31 GMT -5
Anyway, long story short, I'm mostly scared of "coming out" in those places. When you search through the web for people with disabilities, it's quite easy to say upfront that you're a dev, and if they're not interested or they hate them you've lost a day tops. When you meet somebody in real life you don't know what they think of devs, many have very strange ideas (like a guy a friend of mine dated) and I don't want to lie/hide either. So I avoid those situations. I agree, it might seem a little forward to "come out" right then and there. To be honest some people may not know what it is, some may already have a positive or negative reaction towards devs. I'm trying to think if I were a dev how I would approach the situation. I think I wouldn't mention it right then in person, but if you connect with someone, get their phone number and early on in the conversation I'd bring it up. Then go from there.
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Hi
Dec 16, 2010 23:39:35 GMT -5
Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 23:39:35 GMT -5
I think that I need to be a spectator when these interesting adapted sports events are taking place That's why I started that other post I think adaptive sporting events are the most common place where you'll find a bunch of wheelers all over the place. On top of that they are usually in good shape, and they are doing something they enjoy, so chances are they are happier people for it. Not saying you have to play sports to be happy, but I know sports pulled me out of my slump after my injury.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 17:46:44 GMT -5
yes Marine... you´re totally right if we were talking about this century... But, talking about myself... I´m 41 right now... when I was a teenager... it was 25 years ago... well, at leas in Argentina, there was no internet!! LOL... (not in every home)... And like I said before... dissabled sports or clubs or whatever... where not easy to find! Fortunatelly for the young devs... today that´s more much easier!! I don't know what your relationship situation is right now, but if you are single there is almost always someone who falls into that age range or even older. I don't know what you would have done 25 years ago either, I'm guessing it would have taken even more work and the use of other resources to find out about such things.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 16:05:40 GMT -5
. You ever run the UMC marathon in D.C.? My ex-g/f used to run it every year. I haven't done that marathon, and I doubt I'm going to do anymore marathons in the future. They always seem to mess up my shoulders for about a month afterwards, so I'm sticking with wheelchair basketball as my main sport. I have done the L.A., New York and Boston marathons though.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 15:26:16 GMT -5
Who The F*ck?! There is "blunt", and then there is just "stupid", i.e. lacking common courtesy, judgment and tact. I don't think you are one to be talking about tact when you drop the f bomb in the first line of your post.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 15:06:43 GMT -5
3% of your countries population is still around 36,000. Granted they do have to fit in your age range, and location can be a workable issue. Then you are going through the same process of anyone else, finding the right person for you. Obviously this is easier said than done.
Saddam Hussein killed 1% of his own countries population on a yearly basis, and if that 1% could speak now I don't think they would say that was a small number.
Back to the topic, the easiest way to find wheelers or what disability you are attracted too, I would look in the places where they are going to be in large numbers. The best place I can think of is adaptive sporting events (mainly because they are happening on a daily basis somewhere). This can be at any level, from local events to paralympic level events. At almost all of these events volunteers are needed to either assist the participants directly or indirectly. Some events cater to specific injuries or disabilities, and others offer a wide range of disabilities.
Using the internet would be the best way to find these. Key words that I would use would be adaptive sports, or find specific sports like wheelchair basketball, sled hockey, wheelchair racing, adaptive skiing, both snow and water, or look under paralympic sports. I'm sure that is more than enough to get you started.
This applies to anyone who would want to participate in a lot of these events too. Most of these events are put on by non-profit organizations that make it free or at very little cost to participate. In most cases equipment is already provided, and if it is something that you do want to get your own equipment there are organizations out there that can help you. I know of one in particular located in the states called Challenged Athletes Foundation that their sole purpose is to provide athletes with equipment, coaches, and even money to travel to locations where events are being held. And this applies to any disability. Granted some sports only cater to certain disabilities. Like I can't play quad rugby, but some who qualifies to play quad rugby won't qualify to play sitting volleyball. I've seen a guy with severe CP who couldn't even hold his own head up water ski. If there is a will, there is a way.
If anyone wants anymore specifics I can definitely try to answer any questions. If I don't know the answer I'll do my best to look it up for you. I've also heard of skydiving too.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 14:29:25 GMT -5
I have to agree with wheelieincali, it first depends on what your partner thinks and is comfortable with. Since my wife has only told two people in her life about it, I don't think it is my position to tell anyone about it.
However if it was my decision, I think I would be a little hesitant, mainly because my family is very conservative and although I think most of my friends would be fine with it, word spreads, and I'm not sure what some reactions would be. Too add to that, our sex life and my wife's attraction really isn't something I'd share regardless of what it was.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 13:57:51 GMT -5
The moment anyone posts a picture in a public domain, they are then opening themselves up for any type of response that may follow, positive or negative, or what I thought was constructive criticism.
You don't know who I spoke to about whether I should say anything or not, or the manner in which I asked or what the response was, so I don't think you're in a position to judge that.
Tony responded just how I thought he would. I had the feeling that Tony's mettle would not let this drag him down, as that was not my intention anyways.
I'm sorry you felt patronized, but you took part of a quote, and changed the entire context of it. What is wrong with saying I know life is tough for you? I know a lot of people with disabilities, and we are always comparing notes about the difficulties of our daily lives. I don't know everything about every disability, and I know even the same disability between two people doesn't mean they face the same challenges. In my short time that I've been in a chair, I've been fortunate enough to meet some amazing people with a wide range of injuries and disabilities, from a SBK amp, to triple amputees, paras, quads, burn victims, TBI's, or a mix of those. This isn't just over the internet at a safe distance, but I have shared a room with them, went thru rehab with them, had long conversations with them and so on. Just because we are in chairs doesn't mean we are fragile. If anything we are now stronger for surviving the incident (or growing up with it) and then not only living life, but flourishing in life.
Maybe you're right in that Tony doesn't owe the other wheeler population a duty. However that doesn't change the fact that this world is based on first perception, or perception at any stage. Sometimes all it takes is one person to screw it up for others, like a MLB baseball player taking steroids, (we all know that there is more than one, but bear with me) a fat cop walking into a doughnut shop, a West Virginian with 3 teeth wearing only overalls, a politician busted for having sex with a prostitute, or a wheeler with a bad attitude. All of these things CAN have a negative affect on the next ballplayer, cop, West Virginian, politician, and wheeler.
I'm sure if people had the time to talk to each one of these characters above, they'd learn that they shouldn't hold these stereotypes against them, but not everyone has the opportunity or takes the opportunity to do so.
Last time I checked I'm not the only person to voice my opinion on this subject, and from what I have read, I put a little more effort and thought into than some of the other comments I've seen in the past. I'm sure there are going to be things I say in the future that are going to push some buttons. I'm a blunt kind of person, but I usually try to say it in a respectful manner. Sometimes blunt, and respectful don't always mesh well.
Tony I hope you too have a Merry Christmas, and thank you for not holding any harsh feelings towards myself.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 16, 2010 1:21:01 GMT -5
Nobody asked me. However I did ask a respected member on this forum if I should say anything or not, and I was given the green light. I hope that satisfies your question.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 15, 2010 21:52:03 GMT -5
Hey Tony, I know other have said this, and to no avail, but I think it is time for a change in fashion sense. I am looking at all your reasons why you wear them and I kinda wanted to go through them and find an alternate way why you don't have to wear leggings.
1. You say that your legs rub against the tires. Ya it definitely looks like that is the case in some of those pictures. But that is why they make side guards. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone in a manual wheelchair that didn't use them. It looks like there is room for them from what I can tell in your pictures, even with your legs spread apart.
2. You say people don't notice your legs because you're in a chair. I believe E already covered this, but people notice even more. I kind of wish you were right because I am constantly getting stared at for my lack of legs.
3. I know your mother dresses you and she's in her 70's so it isn't as easy for your help to dress you as it would be for others. But I can't see it being that much more difficult to put on a nice fitting pair of pants that aren't skin tight, or a pair of shorts that go to your knee. Even wearing some nice looking sweats would be ten times better in my eyes than those leggings. But first you need some side guards.
E also said something about what you wear affects the attitudes of people and their opinion of other wheelies. Your response is that you don't believe it affects EVERY wheeler out there. I think you're right, it doesn't affect EVERY wheeler, but it will eventually affect some. This isn't just about how you dress, this applies to every aspect of you as a person. From your attitude, how you smell, the way you communicate, eye contact, etc. etc. the list goes on. I'm not saying that these are problems that you have, because I honestly have no clue about that, but all those things do have some sort of impact with some people.
I'm not a perfect dresser, by any means, my wife stops me now and then and lets me know that I'm not matching or I look like a bruise, because I'm wearing black and blue together. No I'm not happy when she tells me that and sometimes it might spawn an argument, but she is right, and the big part is I'm man enough to know she is right and I change.
I'm guessing you are single just from conversations I've read on some threads and other sources. I wonder if that would have still been the case if you never wore leggings, rolled up your socks, and tank tops where your nipple like to poke out, or shorts the length that my wife wears.
I know life is tough for you, way tougher for you than it is for me, but some things need to be done the hard way for your own benefit. It is a necessary evil, kind of like brushing your teeth. I know dressing better isn't going to help you live longer like brushing your teeth will, but I think the quality of life would go up, especially in the dating compartment.
It's not my intention to bash you; I really do believe I'm trying to help you, like others before me have also tried. I'm guessing this post isn't going to change your mind, especially since you've been doing this for probably as long as I have been on this earth. Which is another point, maybe that style was cool back then, but fashions change and you shouldn't fight it, as fickle as that might seem, it is the truth.
I feel bad right now because I know you don't want to hear this and it is almost surely going to upset you, just like it does me when someone calls me out. But I would eventually be appreciative of the fact that people care enough to tell you the honest truth in hopes that it does some good.
I'm curious to see the groups reaction if you tried on something different and posted the picture on here, I think you would get some good reactions.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 15, 2010 16:02:19 GMT -5
I think the question is more if they WANT to find a disabled partner or if they are happy living their fantasies without trying to get in serious contact with a potentional disabled partner. That is an interesting theory, I'm curious to know what prompted you to think that? What percentage of women would you estimate that would fall into that category? Coffee you seem to agree with sittingbull, so feel free to chime in on this one too.
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Hi
Dec 15, 2010 13:30:50 GMT -5
Post by MarineAmp on Dec 15, 2010 13:30:50 GMT -5
I just looked it up online real quick it looks like it is going to be in Denver if you're talking about the national veterans wheelchair games and it is the first week of August. There is also something called the Warrior Games that was just started last year, and that event takes place in Colorado Springs. It is a major competition between the branches, and if you had the time to be able to do it they would pay for everything. And your injury doesn't have to be service connected either. I can think of a lot of people that were not in the military when they received their injury that still competed on the Marine Corps team. However it demands a lot more of your time than the veteran games. There is a 10 day tryout at Camp Pendleton where we are expecting about 100-150 athletes trying out for only 50 spots. Then we head to Colorado Springs two weeks in advance to train, then compete for a week and the u.s. olympic training center there in Colorado Springs. Not everyone is able to do the full two weeks of training, a few people came like 4 or 5 days before the games started. Luckily I am finished with school and I have all the time in the world. But the Warrior Games have been great for me, along with my wife. After I met my wife I lost 20lbs, then I was stuck in that weight range for a while, until I got wind of the Warrior Games and I had motivation again, and lost another 20lbs. Speaking of which I need to get off this computer and go to the gym. Let me know if you're interested and I can send your more information privately.
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Post by MarineAmp on Dec 15, 2010 12:58:52 GMT -5
Do most or all devs in here choose to initiate contact with potential disabled partners through the computer only or do you any of you actually go out into the real world to try and do this? If you don't go into the real world why not? Do you just not know where to look or is it a scary concept for you?
I was just thinking the other day that I go to a bunch of events throughout the year and there is always a wide spectrum of injuries there. And there are even more events that I don't go to with the same results.
If any dev or wheelie in here is curious or wants to know more about the events I can go into more detail about it if there is an interest.
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Hi
Dec 15, 2010 2:13:06 GMT -5
Post by MarineAmp on Dec 15, 2010 2:13:06 GMT -5
It is a special chair, and this even more so than the average one. There are certain rules and dimensions that have to be followed when constructing a chair, which a serious competitor in the sport (which I am not) has their own throwing chair specifically tailored to the individual, just like a wheelchair would be. This one is different in that the seat rotates, and it has attachments that really secure you in (if you have legs). Most throwing chairs are just a steel rectangular prism with not much difference from one person to the next. For me, I just need to be strapped in like an astronaut ready for launch since my legs are so short there isn't much to strap to.
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