|
|
Post by dutchdev on Apr 3, 2024 2:04:05 GMT -5
After 20 years dipping my toe back into the dating pool, still freshfaced and bushy tailed. You guys have me worried.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dani on Apr 4, 2024 14:07:15 GMT -5
My struggle lately is dealing with flaky and/or fake pwd guys. People who talk for a bit and then ghost, or who give an excuse that seems very flimsy instead of being direct. Or people who are pushy but seem suspicious. I feel like it's getting harder to tell who is a fake (pretender, wannabe, BIID type person who is trying to deceive me for their own personal reasons), which is making me come across as paranoid and jaded to the real people. Then when I do let my guard down, oftentimes they flake! It's super frustrating trying to make and maintain real connections with people. You're on basically the same journey I've been on and now you've reached the "paranoia" phase...welcome!  After too many fakers and pretenders and wannabee interactions where people are not honest and upfront, trying to deceive me or want something from me as a dev I can't and don't want to give them, I've been in this phase for a while now. You know my paranoia and suspicions ayla I don't enjoy being like this but dishonest people have made me like this...which unfortunately makes me suspicious also of actual real people, so there... I also have been on the "frustrated and bitter PWD" train where guys just were real a..holes when I didn't want to talk about sex all the time...that also has imprinted on me. So here I am...not sure what phase right now...devness seems to be fading into the past nowadays... |
|
|
|
Post by ayla on Apr 4, 2024 14:09:24 GMT -5
After 20 years dipping my toe back into the dating pool, still freshfaced and bushy tailed. You guys have me worried. I think it’s exacerbated by being in an open relationship rather than traditionally single and monogamous. |
|
|
|
Post by Dani on Apr 4, 2024 14:16:19 GMT -5
Hi! I have been struggling to meet PWDS here, and I have my doubts as to meeting anyone here. So far, haven't come across any interesting people here, do you actually get to meet someone here? There are so many here who just text one time showing interest and then disappear for a long long time. And I have noticed many are young around 20s, are there anybody here around 35 and above? Well, never mind. Still I am single and happy to be single. Over the years, I've met many interesting and genuine people here. There is indeed a diverse group of PWD's and devotees here from all over the world, some more active, some less. The board has probably changed over the years and I think the world has changed too. I've been here for like fourteen years with a short break in between and since nowadays we have other means of communicating besides only here, it has changed for sure but there are many interesting people here. It's just like in the real world though, finding that special someone or the one that does it for you, is not something that just happens overnight, so it takes patience for sure. And compared to every other group out there, the PWD and dev world is pretty small and people are scattered all over the place, so it doesn't make it easy to find a match or someone that could be your one and only. Good luck! |
|
talkingdeafgirl
Junior Member
Posts: 63 
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
|
Post by talkingdeafgirl on Apr 5, 2024 1:02:36 GMT -5
Hi! I have been struggling to meet PWDS here, and I have my doubts as to meeting anyone here. So far, haven't come across any interesting people here, do you actually get to meet someone here? There are so many here who just text one time showing interest and then disappear for a long long time. And I have noticed many are young around 20s, are there anybody here around 35 and above? Well, never mind. Still I am single and happy to be single. Over the years, I've met many interesting and genuine people here. There is indeed a diverse group of PWD's and devotees here from all over the world, some more active, some less. The board has probably changed over the years and I think the world has changed too. I've been here for like fourteen years with a short break in between and since nowadays we have other means of communicating besides only here, it has changed for sure but there are many interesting people here. It's just like in the real world though, finding that special someone or the one that does it for you, is not something that just happens overnight, so it takes patience for sure. And compared to every other group out there, the PWD and dev world is pretty small and people are scattered all over the place, so it doesn't make it easy to find a match or someone that could be your one and only. Good luck! Hi Dani!
Wow, you have been here a long time! And yes, the world has changed and is changing very fast. Sometimes I feel too fast when it comes to certain matters. People expect quick results and unrealistic ones at that too.
I think that we girls are having a hard time finding our Mr. Right these days. Especially with today's technology, it seems that guys of our generation have become very superficial, interested only in the sex part or they are after your money.
So here I was, hoping to meet a few who could become my potential partner for the future. However, it seems very slow and frustrating to have fellows reciprocating interest and then hide for many days. I have noticed this trend not only here but also on FB and Instagram etc..
Even in real life, people are having a hard time to form real and genuine friendships or relationships etc... As most people spend most of their time online. What an irony. We are losing culture, common sense and social niceties slowly etc... day by day. Yearning for the good old days when the things were much simpler and less materialistic. for example... the 80s, 90s... etc...
|
|
amandass
New Member
Posts: 7
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
|
Post by amandass on Apr 5, 2024 6:45:53 GMT -5
I have a friend that was diagnosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome. He posted on social media some pictures of his inpatient rehab stay. One picture was him in a wheelchair with his kids surrounding him. We exchanged some flirty messages back and forth. I briefly dated his best friend about 5 years ago and this is stopping me from saying so much more to him :/
|
|
|
|
Post by devogirl on Apr 5, 2024 22:26:31 GMT -5
Yearning for the good old days when the things were much simpler and less materialistic. for example... the 80s, 90s... etc...
What? Are you honestly saying the 1980s, the era of yuppies and "greed is good" were less materialistic? The 80s and 90s were not at all simpler: the AIDS crisis, very real threat of nuclear war, heroin chic, cigarette smoke everywhere, etc. Dating is hard, but don't fall into the false trap of nostalgia and imagine things used to be easier, because it's not true.
This is not a dating site. The reason you are not meeting people here is because there are not many people here. Our membership is tiny and spread out over the entire world, and not all members are looking for someone. Think of meeting a partner here like winning the lottery--possible but the chances are very low.
|
|
talkingdeafgirl
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
Relationship Status: Single
|
Post by talkingdeafgirl on Apr 6, 2024 0:33:58 GMT -5
Yearning for the good old days when the things were much simpler and less materialistic. for example... the 80s, 90s... etc...
What? Are you honestly saying the 1980s, the era of yuppies and "greed is good" were less materialistic? The 80s and 90s were not at all simpler: the AIDS crisis, very real threat of nuclear war, heroin chic, cigarette smoke everywhere, etc. Dating is hard, but don't fall into the false trap of nostalgia and imagine things used to be easier, because it's not true.
This is not a dating site. The reason you are not meeting people here is because there are not many people here. Our membership is tiny and spread out over the entire world, and not all members are looking for someone. Think of meeting a partner here like winning the lottery--possible but the chances are very low.
I meant that during those days, technology wasn't intrusive. Nowadays, we get non-stop notifications and the habit to check our phones all the time. Its like we are addicted to those screens which weren't present and common. Try talking to a person now without having him/ her checking the phone during that conversation. Its impossible. Some calls, some messages need to be attended to at that moment.
And you took my words out of context. I was referring to the days without a cellphone.
I'm very aware that this is not a dating site. I'm looking to make friends here, not dating any Tom, Dick or Harry. If that friendship turns out to be something more. Nothing like it.
But as I stated earlier, people respond and then disappear. There is no consistency is what I meant. When you make friends, you remain in touch, not disappear for good for a long long time.
|
|
|
|
Post by devogirl on Apr 6, 2024 8:06:30 GMT -5
What? Are you honestly saying the 1980s, the era of yuppies and "greed is good" were less materialistic? The 80s and 90s were not at all simpler: the AIDS crisis, very real threat of nuclear war, heroin chic, cigarette smoke everywhere, etc. Dating is hard, but don't fall into the false trap of nostalgia and imagine things used to be easier, because it's not true.
This is not a dating site. The reason you are not meeting people here is because there are not many people here. Our membership is tiny and spread out over the entire world, and not all members are looking for someone. Think of meeting a partner here like winning the lottery--possible but the chances are very low.
I meant that during those days, technology wasn't intrusive. Nowadays, we get non-stop notifications and the habit to check our phones all the time. Its like we are addicted to those screens which weren't present and common. Try talking to a person now without having him/ her checking the phone during that conversation. Its impossible. Some calls, some messages need to be attended to at that moment.
And you took my words out of context. I was referring to the days without a cellphone.
I'm very aware that this is not a dating site. I'm looking to make friends here, not dating any Tom, Dick or Harry. If that friendship turns out to be something more. Nothing like it.
But as I stated earlier, people respond and then disappear. There is no consistency is what I meant. When you make friends, you remain in touch, not disappear for good for a long long time.
Sorry if I misunderstood you! Those things are annoying for sure. |
|
curiousginger
New Member
Posts: 41
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
|
Post by curiousginger on Apr 21, 2024 5:51:46 GMT -5
Honestly my struggle is that it’s okay to be a dev. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for years but I’ve realised it’s no different to initially being attracted to any other characteristic. We all need something that makes us stop and look at someone a second time.
I’ve finally gotten brave enough to join here and start engaging on the various fora which I think will go a long way to helping me feel comfortable with this.
|
|
|
|
Post by kat on May 2, 2024 7:52:58 GMT -5
Sun's out, buns out wheels out (I tried so hard to think of a rhyme but failed). Warmer weather seems to have lured some cuties out. Anyone have any ideas on how to find pretext to approach a random interesting person when out and about? I've only been wracking my brain for a decade and still have no idea. 😄
|
|
|
|
Post by devogirl on May 3, 2024 7:46:38 GMT -5
You don't need a pretext. Just smile and say hi. If he smiles back, say something about the weather, the location, music etc. Ask a question about anything light and innocuous. People love to talk about themselves.
|
|
melaney23
New Member
Posts: 13
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
|
Post by melaney23 on May 29, 2024 23:45:21 GMT -5
Lately I've been feeling really annoyed with myself for not continuing a conversation with this cute blind guy who came up to me to ask for directions. It happened a year ago and I'm still thinking about him! I was so flustered that I even did the classic annoying thing of just staying quiet after the last exchange -- I saw him hesitate, presumably unsure if the convo was over -- and then he also kinda awkwardly bowed out. Ii've read up on enough blindness etiquette to know that was the wrong thing to do, but in the moment I panicked and didn't want to come off as over eager.
|
|
|
|
Post by devogirl on May 30, 2024 7:43:08 GMT -5
Lately I've been feeling really annoyed with myself for not continuing a conversation with this cute blind guy who came up to me to ask for directions. It happened a year ago and I'm still thinking about him! I was so flustered that I even did the classic annoying thing of just staying quiet after the last exchange -- I saw him hesitate, presumably unsure if the convo was over -- and then he also kinda awkwardly bowed out. Ii've read up on enough blindness etiquette to know that was the wrong thing to do, but in the moment I panicked and didn't want to come off as over eager. Oh no! 😭 Next time just keep talking.
I ran into a young blind guy a few months ago. He was asking random people for directions and everyone was ignoring him, so I walked up to him and asked if he needed help. It's an area I know well but when he said where he was going somehow there was some miscommunication between us and I couldn't give him the direction he wanted. He walked off to go ask someone else. He was much younger and I'm married, so I was not trying to strike up a conversation with him, but I felt like I failed as a dev for not being able to help him out.
|
|
melaney23
New Member
Posts: 13
Gender: Female
Dev Status: Devotee
|
Post by melaney23 on May 31, 2024 8:04:14 GMT -5
Oh no! 😭 Next time just keep talking.
I ran into a young blind guy a few months ago. He was asking random people for directions and everyone was ignoring him, so I walked up to him and asked if he needed help. It's an area I know well but when he said where he was going somehow there was some miscommunication between us and I couldn't give him the direction he wanted. He walked off to go ask someone else. He was much younger and I'm married, so I was not trying to strike up a conversation with him, but I felt like I failed as a dev for not being able to help him out.
Ah, thanks for this! It's comforting to know that even a seasoned dev like you can't always handle it perfectly |
|
